eva Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Live Blogging People Dancing With What Some Consider To Be Stars
See this lady? She's involved somehow in tonight's season premiere of DWTS (pronounced "duh-witz"), along with 10 other celebrities....

Maria Sharapova Or Nicole Vaidisova Would Like To Help You With Your Small Penis
Copyranter found another "penis embiggening" web ad that (without her permission, most likely) uses the other blondtennis star RussianCzech tennis player to sell its magic girth pills. [Update: Fixed.][Copyranter]...

Let Us Now Savor The Bitter Tears Of Michigan Fans
Current thread titles at MGoBlog's message board: "God Hates Us," "Michigan Hating God," and "At what point do I poke myself in the eye with a stick," which is about the football team. [MGoBlog, h/t BML]...

Evan Turner Shuts Up Steve Lavin With 40-Foot Buzzer Beater
Things were looking good for the Michigan basketball team. Up two, two seconds left in the game; it was in the bag. Steve Lavin said it was the perfect example of why the conference tournaments are so great....

Jim Schwartz Pursues Free Agents Like A Deranged Ex-Boyfriend
How do you convince talented and (mostly) sane players to move to Detroit and play for the Lions? If you're Jim Schwartz you sit outside their house in the middle of the night and leave heaving breathing on their voicemail....

Erin Andrews Becomes A Star Who Someone Will Dance With
"Dancing With The Stars" announced that its lineup for next season will include America's Sideline Princess, because apparently all you have to do is ask and they'll let you on. It's a pretty good system ABC's got going on there....

The Cold War Is Officially Back On
Evgeni Plushenko: "I was positive that I won. But I suppose Evan needs the medal more than I do. Maybe it's because I already have one." Oh, your plan all along was to un-retire to be runner-up, then? Burn. [WaPo]...

Where Is Your Quad Now?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Last Night's Winner: Devan Downey
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like South Carolina's Devan Downey, who out-Walled John Wall and continued to make it dangerous to be the No. 1-ranked team. Cocks....

Open Thread: Ohio State-WVU, Kansas-Iowa State, Marquette-'Cuse, Longwood-Savannah State, Etc.
Possible topics for discussion: Evan Turner's 19-10-6 line, whether Andy Katz's prose reads like a Swedish-to-English Babelfish translation, Tyshawn Taylor's Facebook profile, the shock of learning that Lawrence Moten is the Big East's all-time leading scorer, the Morrill Land-Grant Acts....

Old Man To Embarrass Himself For Your Amusement (And Money)
Forget Pacquiao/Mayweather; Evander Holyfield is set to fight again, against similarly washed-up Francois Botha. If this doesn't give the WBF belt legitimacy, nothing will. [AP]...

The Golf Channel Gets Racy After Dark
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Snapped Femur? I Barely Even Know Her!
In memory of what once was Derrick Roland's intact leg, the Daily News presents us with a slideshow of Sports' Most Gruesome Injuries. (The final slide is captioned: "A shot of Evander, minus ear.") Fun for the whole family! [NYDN]...

Tell Me More, Tony And Eva, Tell Me More!
Is there a better Christmas present than a freshly wrapped copy of Tony Parker and Eva Longoria lip-syncing along to "Summer Nights"? Actually, no. I don't believe there is....

Pitcher Known For Mustache Wins Mustache Award
In what other award ceremony will you hear the winning entry referred to as a "menacing mouth garden?"...

Smarty Pants Web Mag Goes A Little Laddy With "Baseball's Sexiest Teammates"
Here's a gallery-friendly rundown of baseball's best WAGs by position. For example: your pitching staff for this squad would trot out Ann Margret, Alyssa Milano, and Mamie Van Doren. [Daily Beast]...

Mike Tyson Says It Was A Pleasure To Have Known, Bitten Evander Holyfield
Oprah gave Mike Tyson a chance to apologize to Evander Holyfield for real today. Tyson passed. He does more dancing in these 30 seconds than he did in his entire career. What a champion! [Oprah]...

Oprah To Host Tyson-Holyfield III
Mike Tyson is heading back to Oprah Winfrey's show on Friday and he's bringing his old dinner companion, Evander Holyfield. What could those two possibly have to talk about? [CBSNews]...

Baseball Season Won't Die
While the season is over for Schlongoria and company, there's still a bit of business left to settle in the AL Central before the playoffs start....

And Speaking Of Winning Organizations...
The Washington Nationals held a everything-must-go! charity auction over the weekend which included autographed baseballs from the likes of Wily Mo Pena and Ray King. [NationalsEnquirer]...