eve Page 197 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Series Of Modest Coincidences Proves Raptors Will Definitely Beat Miami
Who ya got in Game 7 today? If you don’t live in Miami or Toronto, the answer seems utterly moot: The amply rested Cavaliers, having backstroked through the first two rounds of the NBA playoffs, are going to be the overwhelming favorites in the conference finals. Meanwhile the Heat and the Raptors a...
N.C. State Baseball Coach Avenges Himself Upon Snake That Bit His Puppy
N.C. State baseball coach Elliott Avent isn’t with his team for this weekend’s series agains Louisville, all because he had to fuck up a snake that bit him and his puppy....
Dayton Center Steve McElvene Dies At 20
Dayton men’s basketball player Steve McElvene reportedly died at his family’s home today. He was 20....
Report: Everton To Fire Roberto Martínez Today
Well, that didn’t take long. After just three seasons at Everton—the first of which was a rousing success and seemed to mark the manager and club for coming greatness—Roberto Martínez is reportedly all set to be fired today. It’s both understandable and a little strange. Update: It’s official, he’s ...
Sunderland Smash Up Sorry-Ass Everton To More Or Less End The Premier League Season
So that’s pretty much it, eh? We already have our Premier League champions—whose coronation was catered by an exceedingly accommodating Everton team—at the top of the table, and at the bottom we also know which teams are going down, thanks to Sunderland’s victory today, again brought to us by Everto...
Crunch
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Connor Cook's Dad Seems To Be A Big Shithead
Connor Cook, long projected to be picked in the early rounds of the NFL Draft, ended up slipping to the Raiders in the fourth round. A report about why he fell despite his obvious talent pointed to attitude problems and a bad rap from his teammates. According to the Detroit News, there wasn’t one in...
The Atlanta Hawks Are Being Whiny Babies
One of the best things about basketball is that it is not baseball. I enjoy both sports equally, but basketball has always had an edge in the not-employing-humorless-dickwads department, which means you rarely ever see NBA players or coaches talking about “class” or “playing the right way.” The Atla...
Texas A&M Assistant's Twitter Rant About Losing One Recruit Chased Away Another (UPDATED)
One of the grossest things in all of sports is big-time college football recruiting: educational institutions groveling and begging high schoolers to attend, adults directing slush funds towards 17-year-olds, college graduates harassing kids on social media to consider their alma mater. And last nig...
Everybody Is In Big Trouble If LeBron Finds His Jumper
There’s not much the Atlanta Hawks can say about the record-setting three-pocalypse the Cavs laid on them last night. Sometimes the ball just won’t stop going in the hoop, and all you can do is turn your palms up, shrug, and move on. What should concern the Hawks, and the rest of the remaining playo...
The Cavs Just Went Scorched Earth On The Poor Hawks
Tonight the Cleveland Cavaliers dropped an unholy beatdown on the hapless Hawks and put them into the toilet to the tune of 25 threes, 123 points, and 55 percent shooting from three. Every non-garbage time player who took a three hit one, and they smashed the NBA records for most threes in a half (1...
Patrick Beverley Mercilessly Owns Kid In One-On-One
This one-on-one game, which Patrick Beverley decided to dominate, is like that scene in Rushmore where Bill Murray blocks the shit out of that kid, but for five minutes straight. ...
Browns Draftee Celebrates By Jumping Fully Clothed Into His Pool
Arizona linebacker Scooby Wright got picked in the seventh round by the Browns, and he celebrated by, well, you’ll see....
Eagles Draft Pick Already Familiar With His New City, It Seems
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The Boston Celtics Will Soon Be Terrifyingly Good
The Boston Celtics lost to the Atlanta Hawks 104-92 last night, knocking them out of the first round of the playoffs. It’s the last time for the foreseeable future that the Celtics will exit the playoffs so early. ...
Check Out This Outrageous, Leaping Steven Souza Catch
Remember back in 2014, when Steven Souza Jr. saved Jordan Zimmerman’s no-hitter with an over-the-shoulder catch for the last out? That was a great catch!...
The Playoffs Are Shaping Up Nicely For The Cavs, Huh?
The Cavaliers finished off their sweep of the Pistons Sunday night, but almost as important as beating the Pistons 4-0 was how they did it. LeBron James, Kyrie Irving, and Kevin Love are all healthy, and for the first time in two years actually look like a cohesive unit. Irving is relieving James of...
Climb Mt. Everest Without The Risk Of Cold, Bodily Harm
There’s no doubting that the view from atop Mount Everest—the tallest mountain on the planet—is stunning. Indescribable, even. A view so grand that it’s unable to be properly captured by mere pictures or video. ...
The NFL Draft Did Not Ruin Johnny Manziel
There is a weird-as-hell story on A1 of the New York Times today mashing up two of the two biggest stories of the NFL week—the indictment of Johnny Manziel for assault, and this Thursday’s NFL draft. It’s an amalgamation of two distinct ideas, both with merit but neither fully formed, fastened onto ...