ew Page 2317 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Year's Super Bowl Teams Really Are The Best In Their Conference
Hey, here's a change. The participants in this year's Super Bowl, through the NFL's single-elimination playoff format, were actually the best in their respective conferences this year. That never happens! Except, uhm, when it happened last year. But otherwise—that almost never happens!...

Prosecutors: Hernandez's DNA Found On Shell Casing, Joint At Crime Scene
The Aaron Hernandez murder trial got underway yesterday, and prosecutors revealed two previously un-reported pieces of evidence while delivering opening statements. ...

Super Bowl Footballs Will Receive Extra Security
Remember, if you can, back a whole three days ago, before Marshawn Lynch conquered America: it's tough to believe now, but there used to be a big scandal about deflated footballs or something. (It's hard to recall the specifics.) The NFL is taking no chances on a repeat of the controversy. Nobody is...

The Patriots' Super Bowl Success Relies On The Brady-Gronk Connection
Since Randy Moss got the Jazzy Jeff toss from the New England in the middle of the 2010 season, Patriots fans have spent offseason after offseason squawking about the team's need for a deep-threat receiver. Those people are idiots. The current Patriots do not need a deep threat, because Tom Brady su...

You Can Tell College Gronk's Cool Because He's Wearing Sunglasses
Here we see human Spuds MacKenzie Rob Gronkowski in his natural state at the University of Arizona: No shirt, sunglasses, and a big dumb smirk. You can hear the 311 playing through your screen....

Splendor in the Short Grass
Here's Grover Lewis' famous Rolling Stone takeout on the filming of The Last Picture Show:...

Q&A: John Carpenter On His New Album, And The New Images In His Head
There's no professional reason for John Carpenter to release new movies or music these days. The director-writer-producer-composer—who's shot, financed, and/or scored dozens of lauded cult films, including 1981's Escape From New York, 1982's The Thing, and 1988's They Live—has earned plenty of r...

How To Hit On Girls In The Club (Or Not)
Let me get this out of the way: I love both going to the club (dancing and music are great!) and dudes (they're so cute!). But dudes absolutely ruin the club. There's a reason ladies often get in for free or cheap: Both dudes and non-dudes are happier when the dude ratio is lower. Just a small sampl...

J.R. Smith: I'm Better Now Because I Can't Really Party In Cleveland
J.R. Smith has been pretty good since joining the Cleveland Cavaliers, scoring 14 points per game and shooting 37 percent from behind the arc. While playing for the Knicks during the first chunk of the season, Smith was scoring just 10 points per game and shooting 35 percent from behind the arc. Acc...

Saints Execs Claim Tom Benson Is Still An Active Owner
Saints team president Dennis Lauscha and general manager Mickey Loomis spoke with the New Orleans Times-Picayune yesterday, and claimed that team owner Tom Benson is not a mentally feeble puppet being manipulated by his wife, as has been claimed in a lawsuit filed by Benson's recently jilted heirs....

What The Hell Did Stephen Curry Just Do With This Pass?
The headline isn't an attempt at hyperbole but a legitimate question. I've watched this on replay four or five times now and I still can't figure out how Steph Curry smoothly pulled this off. I'm sitting on my couch trying to swing an imaginary ball from my left hand to my right and then over my s...

What Are Bill Belichick's Other Horcruxes?
Seeing as how Lord Belichick inadvertently revealed the nature of one of his Horcruxes today, we thought now would be a good time to try and figure out what items house the other six pieces of his sundered soul. These are our guesses, and please feel free to share your own in the comments....

Why Those Statistics About The Patriots' Fumbles Are Mostly Junk
Statistics can say whatever you want it to, drolls the dull old axiom. But that tack has always placed the onus more on the numbers than on the ones manipulating them; more correctly, you might say, Statistics can say whatever you want it to when it's used irresponsibly or haphazardly. This is esp...

Rob Gronkowski Reads Gronk Erotica Out Loud At Super Bowl Media Day
Thanks to the half-serious circus that is Super Bowl Media Day, someone persuaded extremely tall fifth-grader Rob Gronkowski into reading a line from A Gronking To Remember, the Gronk-themed erotica that surfaced on Amazon earlier this month....

Louis C.K. Has A Good Take On The Ballghazi Scandal
If you're starting to feel a little suffocated by Ballghazi hysteria, allow funnyman Louis C.K. to bring a little levity into the situation....

Weed Review: Will Beast Mode 2.0 Make You Feel Like Marshawn Lynch?
Did you know that a Seattle marijuana-delivery service is now offering a Marshawn Lynch-inspired strain called Beast Mode 2.0? It's true. So we got a local enthusiast to review it for us. Here are his (scattered) thoughts. ...

The Patriots' Hotel's Fire Alarm Went Off Last Night
The Patriots' first night in Arizona was not a restful one; after getting in and doing their press conferences (including a particularly impassioned one from Bob Kraft), the team turned in—only to be woken up by a blaring fire alarm at around 1:30 local time....

Brandon Browner Says Injured Seahawks Are Targets
Patriots corner Brandon Browner—who spent the previous three seasons with the Seahawks—was not shy about his belief that New England needs to target his banged-up former teammates. Speaking to ESPN, Browner specifically referenced Richard Sherman's sprained elbow and Earl Thomas's separated shoulder...