ew Page 2520 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Predictably, In Just 24 Hours, The Kings' Plans Have Gone Awry
Yesterday the Sacramento Kings made a bad trade. For the privilege of giving away two marginally useful players and thus opening up an additional $13 million in salary cap space, they had to trade to the 76ers last season’s first-round draft pick, a top-ten protected 2018 first-round draft pick, and...
Cup Check!
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook....
What The Hell Did Dwyane Wade Just Sign?
The AP reports that Dwyane Wade has agreed to a one-year, $20 million contract. What the hell?...
Put Peas In Your Guacamole If You Want To
Once upon a time, sure as you are born, some dingus was all, “Onions?!?! In your guacamole?!?! You motherfuckers!”...
“Then They Lit A Roman Candle”: Your Best Fireworks Horror Stories
Fireworks! So loud! So destructive! So shabbily made! Why, they’re the perfect embodiment of America itself! No wonder we blow them up real good every 4th of July....
The Bucks Just Snatched Greg Monroe Away From The Knicks And Lakers
For days, we’ve been hearing about how the New York Knicks were targeting free-agent power forward Greg Monroe, so this morning’s report that Monroe has chosen to sign a max contract with the Milwaukee Bucks comes as a bit of a surprise....
Tennis Player CoCo Vandeweghe Thinks Carmelo Anthony Is Soft As Hell
I have no idea why pro tennis player CoCo Vandeweghe was asked for her opinion on Carmelo Anthony and the Knicks, other than the fact that her uncle is former NBA player and GM Kiki Vandeweghe, but I sure am glad it happened. ...
What Are The Knicks Doing?
I’m just going to list some things the Knicks are doing....
Jim Harbaugh, Colin Cowherd Combine For A Disastrous Interview
Jim Harbaugh called into drive-time ratfuck Colin Cowherd’s radio show this morning for an interview, and it was spectacularly awful. Cowherd was throwing every possible question at the Michigan football coach, and Harbaugh couldn’t generate any semblance of dialogue. Cowherd ended up cutting the in...
The Prison Break's Lovelorn Tabloid Villain Is No Mere "Shaw-Skank"
Sometime on the night of June 5, two convicted murderers popped out of a sewer near Clinton Correctional Facility in upstate New York and started running. It took three weeks to stop them; the aftermath left one dead, and the other shot and recaptured. Two prison workers who aided that stunning esca...
Anthony Davis Agrees To NBA's Richest Deal
At midnight last night, NBA teams were allowed to begin negotiations with their players. One minute after that, the Pelicans and Anthony Davis agreed to a max extension that could keep the 22-year-old star center in New Orleans through 2021. One minute after that, Davis announced the news:...
Report Says Coyotes Are Moving To Vegas, But NHL Calls It "Garbage"
Here’s a fun one. According to the New York Post—not necessarily the first place you look to for important breaking hockey news—the Arizona Coyotes are getting a new owner and will move to Las Vegas before the 2016-17 season:...
Chris Christie Blew $82,594 With MetLife Vendor But Can't Find Receipts
This started with an easy question. How did Chris Christie blow more than $80,000 in less than two years on concessions at MetLife Stadium?...
It's More Common Than You Think
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook....
Mets Rookie Steven Matz Is A Man Of Many Talents
Everyone loves Mets rookie pitcher Steven Matz today, mostly because he did a lot of cool shit in his first big-league game, and also because he has a swell grandpa. Well, did you also know that Matz is really good at spinning stuff on his finger?...
Sweaty Gronk Freestyles At Bar, Gets The Boot
If you had one shot or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted in one moment, would you capture it, or just let it slip? Perspiring colossus Rob Gronkowski let it slip, at a Georgia bar over the weekend....
Mets Rookie Steven Matz Had One Hell Of A Debut
The Mets’ Steven Matz played in his first MLB game Sunday against the Reds, and went 3 for 3 at the plate with four RBI. Steven Matz is a pitcher....
Now It's The Yankees' Turn To Illustrate Terrible Outfield Defense
Fresh off Frenchy’s Flub, here’s some Keystone Kop-y defense on behalf of America’s Team....
CNN Freaks Out About Buttplug Flag At Pride Parade
“ISIS Flag Spotted At Gay Pride Parade” reads the lower-third graphic on CNN, which spent almost four minutes today talking up terror as the extremist faction apparently had infiltrated a London Pride march. Except that’s pretty clearly not an ISIS flag, unless the Islamic State is now really into b...
CNN Forced To Go To Commercial After "About Fucking Time!" Invasion
CNN’s Ashleigh Banfield delivered same-sex marriage coverage this morning from outside the Stonewall Inn, only to have her live shot quickly abbreviated thanks to a boisterous man who repeatedly hollered, “ABOUT FUCKING TIME! ABOUT FUCKING TIME!” ...