ew Page 2532 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ohio State Provides Another Heartwarming Spring Practice Video
Yesterday we showed you Nebraska's feel-good video, where the Huskers gave seven-year-old Jack Hoffman a memory to last a lifetime....

The Dodgers Instagram Account Is Pretty Weird
Following another dominant performance from Clayton Kershaw, the Dodgers Instagram account posted the whimsical picture you see above last night with the following caption:...

Failure Is An Option, Or Why You'll Always Be A Loser And That's OK: Recovering Fatass Soundtrack
A weekly look at the iPod of a regular dude trying to run himself out of an early grave....

Mario Balotelli Smokes Thing
On Saturday, the A.C. Milan star was caught smoking a cigarette in the toilet of a train as he and his teammates were traveling for a match against ACF Fiorentina. You'd think Italy would be the one place left on the planet where it would be OK to smoke on a train, but you would be wrong....

Reggie Evans Pulls Out Own Tooth, Grosses Out Ian Eagle And Jim Spanarkel
In the third quarter of Brooklyn's 105-96 win over Charlotte Saturday night, Reggie Evans's face ran into Michael Kidd-Gilchrest's head, jarring loose a tooth. ...

Joe Flacco To Pretend He Is An Iconic Baltimore Quarterback
Johnny Unitas's son, Joe Unitas, is making a movie about his dad and Joe Flacco will appear as the famous Colts quarterback in the film's final scenes, depicting game action. ...

Taking A Charge Is Just The Worst
With 20 seconds left and Syracuse down two, Brandon Triche drove the lane and dropped off a sort of wild layup as Jordan Morgan slid underneath him. Triche was called for an offensive foul and Michigan got the ball back and eventually won the game. It did not decide the game so much as make a Michig...

<em>Saturday Night Live</em> Took On The Mike Rice Video Tonight
Tonight's Saturday Night Live unleashed this parody just as the Michigan-Syracuse game was coming to its ugly end, so the Mike Rice-savvy audience out there may have missed it....

After An Absolute Rock Fight In The Georgia Dome, Louisville Knocks Off Wichita State With The Help Of A Phantom Jump Ball
Down 12 with 13:15 remaining, Louisville clawed back with defense that changed the game's atmosphere from "celebratory" to "panic attack," and hit just enough shots to surpass a Wichita State team whose game plan gradually fell apart in the final minutes. Of course, the comeback might not be the sto...

Huskers Nation Flips Its Shit After Someone Thumbs-Downs Cute Video
In the Nebraska spring game, Red inserted an undersized but plucky tailback by the name of Jack Hoffman for a crucial fourth-down carry. It's worth mentioning that Jack is 7 years old and has suffered from brain cancer, and because the good folks at Nebraska realize what a bullshit deal it is to be ...

Northern Kentucky University Athletic Director Dismissed For Affairs With Four Staffers, One Student
More athletic directors in the news! Northern Kentucky University dismissed Scott Eaton, once an athletic administrator at Brown and a member of the NKU department since 1998, for undisclosed reasons in early March. As we learned late yesterday, Eaton was guilty of "inappropriate, intimate relations...

If The Chicago Cubs Want Their Big Renovation, It's Time For Them To Grease The Wrigleyville Rooftops
Wrigley Field, the goat-themed cemetery where the past 105 seasons of Chicago Cubs baseball are buried, is finally getting an overhaul befitting the task at hand. The Ricketts family that now owns the Cubs apparently wants to win more games, and to spend money to do so. Presently the team doesn’t ea...

How To Make A Quiche: A Guide For 'Mericans
There's nothing wrong with quiche that couldn't be fixed by just calling it goddamn Omelet Pie. Slap an off-putting, unappetizing (keesh—it sounds like an onomatopoeic rendering of a rabid vampire bat crashing through the windshield of your car to attack your neck, oh God my neck, get it off getito...

Wichita State Players Know As Little About Wichita State As You Do
Wichita State: What is it? A university named after a city with a population of less than 400,000—and which isn't even the capital (of Kansas)—Wichita State hasn't enjoyed the surge of interest around the school that accompanied March Madness upstarts like Florida Gulf Coast, or Harvard. Even after ...

Major League Baseball Just Straight Up Sued The Wrong Guy
Major League Baseball, an organization with massive revenues and a squadron of high-priced lawyers, filed against the wrong person—just, flat out, the wrong guy—in its (specious) claim against Biogenesis, forcing the falsely accused Miami-area salesman to retain a lawyer for his defense. This mix-up...

Amar'e Stoudemire Generously Donated 1,000 Grim Reminders Of Human Fragility To Louisville
Amar'e Stoudemire, himself synonymous with scratched retinas, torn-up knees and uninsurable contracts, was emotionally blackmailed this week by a pushy contractor working for the University of Louisville's marketing department, and subsequently donated $2,500 to that department so it could invest in...

Brendon Ayanbadejo Is "In Talks With A Handful Of Players Who Are Considering" Coming Out Of The Closet
It's perfect that the first NFL players to come out of the closet—indeed, the first active players in any North American sport—will do so after a protracted negotiation that resembles collective contract bargaining, except with less salary caps and signing bonuses and more public declarations of sex...

Chelsea And Tottenham Have A Winning Problem
Three days after beating Manchester United in the FA Cup quarterfinal, Chelsea easily dispatched Russian club Rubin Kazan, 3-1, to take a commanding lead in their Europa League quarterfinal. Tottenham had a tougher time in their first leg, drawing Swiss side Basel 2-2 at home. During the match, Spur...
