ew Page 2591 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wake Up, Yankeefan
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That Isn't George Bush, Sir
Jaguars safety Johnathan Cyprien, that is not George W. Bush. If you were cracking a joke, then it's pretty funny. But that's not actually George W. Bush, or his father, George H.W. Bush. It's just some different white guy with beady eyes....
The Hapless Knicks Get Their Own "One Shining Moment" Montage
The New York Knicks were officially eliminated from the playoffs Saturday, as the Atlanta Hawks clinched the eighth seed with a win over the Heat. But don't you want to relive the delightful journey that was the Knicks' 2013-14 season, set to "One Shining Moment"? I sure do! Let's do that....
Minnesota "Idiots" Riot Over Lost Championship, Piss Off TV Reporter
Union College defeated Minnesota for the NCAA men's hockey title tonight, and Golden Gophers fans flooded the streets of Dinkytown to fuck shit up—especially all of KMSP reporter Jonathan Choe's live shots....
Fan Touches Curtis Granderson During Game, Immediately Regrets It
As Mets outfielder Curtis Granderson turned to throw a fly ball back to the infield yesterday, an Angels fan touched him in the back. Granderson justifiably did not like that....
Corey Brewer Puts Up 51 Points, Including A Halfcourt Buzzer-Beater
The gangly Corey Brewer carried the Timberwolves Friday night, scoring 51 points against a Houston squad disinterested in playing defense. Three of those points came from a deep, well-placed halftime buzzer-beater....
Mets Pitcher Jenrry Mejia Has Just <em>Had It</em> With This Stupid-Ass Sport
Stupid Justin Upton! Stupid glove! Stupid baseball!...
Michael Pineda Was Cheating And No One Cares
"It's just dirt, nothing to see here" was Michael Pineda's general reaction to being accused of glopping up the heel of his hand with some unknown substance in a strong pitching performance against Boston last night. It clearly wasn't dirt. But was it cheating? That depends on whether you listen to ...
<em>The Daily Show</em> Takes Down The NCAA
With the NCAA tournament at a close, and the recent decision allowing Northwestern football players to vote on forming a union, Jon Stewart and The Daily Show decided to tackle an issue near and dear to our hearts. Never has the exploitation of teenagers been funnier. ...
Andre Iguodala Ruins Quincy Miller's Life With Incredible Crossover
This is just mean. Poor Quincy Miller thought he was playing smart, heads-up basketball by pressuring the ball-handler, and then Andre Iguodala just goes ahead and turns him into a marionette without strings....
Michael Pineda's Not Being Discreet About The Pine Tar On His Hand
Yankees pitcher Michael Pineda doesn't seem to be hiding the visible splotch of stuff on his throwing hand. It appears to be pine tar, as NESN color commentator Jerry Remy noted. (Remy wasn't happy.)...
Mike Francesa Could Not Give Less Of A Shit About The Ultimate Warrior
You think the Sports Pope wants to sit here and spend his day talking about professional wrestling? Get a clue. Francesa could cah less about that gahbage....
Jeff Withey Completes The Rare Pass Off Of The Referee's Head
Pelicans center Jeff Withey's pass was swatted by Eric Bledsoe, right into the noggin of official Bennie Adams and back to Withey. You can hear the "doink!" sound in your head....
What The Fuck Does This Thomas Friedman Hockey Metaphor Mean?
Thought leader Thomas Friedman of the New York Times has written a column about the Ukraine crisis, in which he argues, well, who knows. A good quarter of it is just an extended excerpt from a 16-year-old interview with George Kennan, who didn't think that committing to wage nuclear war on behalf of...
What UConn's Breanna Stewart Means To Women's Basketball
Last night, sophomore forward Breanna Stewart led her UConn Huskies to their second-straight NCAA title and ninth overall. Her stat line offered a little of everything: 21 points, nine rebounds, four assists, two blocks. "The first Durantesque player in the women's game," her coach, Geno Auriemma, c...
Bitchy Pats Fans Harass Brandon Spikes After He Talks About Winning
Linebacker Brandon Spikes left the Patriots after four seasons to sign with the Buffalo Bills. New England didn't seem to want him back, and the parting seemed amicable. But that won't stop some Patriots fans from overreacting when Spikes talked about beating the Patriots today in the most boring wa...
The Ultimate Warrior Was An Insane Dick
In his last public appearance, not 24 hours before his death, James Hellwig made clear that there is a distinction between the Ultimate Warrior and the man beneath the facepaint. So it in no way detracts from the respect earned by one of the biggest and most unique characters in wrestling history to...
The Ultimate Warrior Gave His Own Eulogy A Day Before His Death
After a career built on death rumors, it's finally true. Jim Hellwig, who had legally changed his name to Warrior, died last night in Arizona at the age of 54. Fewer than 24 hours earlier, he appeared on WWE Monday Night RAW, and to celebrate his induction into the WWE Hall of Fame, he addressed the...
Jim Hellwig, Known As The Ultimate Warrior, Is Dead
Jim Hellwig, who portrayed the Ultimate Warrior, has died. He was 54....