ew Page 2626 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Since the Ravens won, Denver's mayor has to do the Ray Lewis dance. He injured himself practicing it....

"Armstrong Used Rugs," Says CBC News

The way we see it, there are two possible typos in the chyron above. The first, and most obvious, is that "rugs" is actually supposed to say "drugs." This scenario makes sense, given all the news that's recently come to light about Lance Armstrong's use of performance enhancing drugs. Or, "Armstro...

Joe Flacco, The Big-Armed Oaf Who Saved Baltimore

Joe Flacco has played five full seasons in the NFL, and in each one, he has thrown for less than 4,000 yards and completed less than 64 percent of his throws. He has never been sacked fewer than 30 times, and he has never thrown more than 25 touchdowns. Flacco turns 28 tomorrow. He'll be a free agen...

Mike Krzyzewski Went On The Radio And Gasbagged About "Loyalty, Honesty, And Tradition" In College Basketball

Ugh. That's all that can be said about the following bit of commentary from Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski, as spoken on Coach K's radio show and transcribed by DC Sports Bog:...

Deadspin NBA Shit List: Andray Blatche, Who Has No Idea

A celebration of the NBA's most infuriating players, both past and present. Read other NBA Shit List entries here....

John Rocker: The Holocaust Wouldn't Have Happened If The Jews Had Guns

John "Pay Attention To Meeeeee" Rocker is doing god knows what with his time these days. I think there was a book? And maybe a black girlfriend? Even with his busy schedule, Rocker's been able to fit in a semi-regular column for loonypants conservative website WorldNetDaily. And his latest is someth...

Rob Gronkowski's Twice-Broken Arm Might Always Be At Risk

Rob Gronkowski broke his left forearm back in November, and had surgery to fix it. He returned for Week 17, played sparingly, then broke his left forearm in the Patriots' first playoff game. It's easy enough to jump to the conclusion that he came back too soon, that he wasn't completely healed up ye...

The Lakers Want To Increase Kobe Bryant's Defensive Role, Will Probably End Up Killing Him

The good news for the Lakers is that they ended their six-game losing streak on Sunday by defeating the Cleveland Cavaliers 113-93 in Dwight Howard's first game back from injury. The bad news is that the Lakers still have an uphill climb to the playoffs, and now Mike D'Antoni is looking to increase...

Hockey's Back, But The Media Still Doesn't Know Who The Kings Are

It became a running joke last season, as the Kings cruised to a Stanley Cup, that the Los Angeles media couldn't quite grasp the concept of a hockey team. The Kings were misidentified in onscreen graphics, the players' names slaughtered by sportscasters, even their mascot mixed up with his NBA count...

Lance Armstrong Could Snitch On Other Dopers To Get His Ban Lifted

The apology you're forced to make is rarely the most sincere. And make no mistake: Lance Armstrong's magical misery tour isn't coming from a place of penitence, but a transparent last-ditch attempt to race again. Even Armstrong's humility is selfish....

National Radio Announcers Just Couldn't Believe The Ravens Let The Clock Expire At The End Of The First OT Period

With all of the changes made to the NFL's overtime rules in recent years, anyone can be forgiven for not understanding some of the basics. But one detail that didn't change is what happens in a playoff game at the conclusion of the first overtime period: the teams move to the other side of the fie...

Dan Dierdorf: Cartoonish Grump

Look, I'm not going to be singing showtunes if I'm forced to work in 10-degree weather just to earn a paycheck, either. (Unless that showtune is "Sooner or Later" from the thoroughly-depressing La Strada.) But the sad face CBS analyst Dan Dierdorf cast on Saturday was especially rubbery, with an ex...

Taj Gibson Posterizes Anthony Tolliver; Stacey King Enjoys It Immensely

The dunk itself is pretty good, but Stacey King's reaction is even better. This is sort of a thing, I've learned, that King does so maybe you Chicagoans are yawning, but the rest of us can still enjoy his enthusiasm....

The Lance Armstrong Redemption Tour Is Hitting Some Hurdles

According to The Wall Street Journal, Justice Department officials have recommended joining Floyd Landis's federal whistleblower suit against Armstrong in which he alleges Armstrong, among others, defrauded the federal government in accepting money while engaging in "sophisticated doping ring."...

Brent Musburger Closed Out Tonight's Broadcast By Saying Holly Rowe "Was Really Smokin' Tonight" [UPDATE]

At this point, you just have to hand it to veteran ESPN broadcaster Brent Musburger. Not only did he let the Katherine Webb controversy just roll off his shoulder, he had enough of the mojo left in him to continue the mackin' brigade. Here's his closing comments from tonight's Baylor-Kansas game, ...

John Wall Had Ish Smith Jumping All Over The Place Tonight

First, Wall literally pump-faked Smith over his entire body. Smith, however, was unfazed. He quickly bounced back and blocked the real shot. Pretty impressive. Later, as the third quarter was winding down, Wall shook Ish out of his shoes and into the Magic bench before dumping it off to Kevin Sera...

Doug Gottlieb Compares Tony Gonzalez Winning His First Playoff Game To A.C. Green Having Sex

That is an actual thing that happened today. No sensational headlines or tricks. Today, Doug Gottlieb had a train of thought the nuts and bolts of which went something like: "Hey, Tony Gonzalez finally won a playoff game. Wonder if it felt better to him than A.C. Green rubbing genitals with his wife...

Nyjer Morgan Got Caught Cheating On His Girlfriend, According To Nyjer Morgan's Twitter Account

We pretty much know as much as you do on this one. All we have to go on are the exclusive details that were posted in the free agent outfielder's timeline in the last half hour or so. Well, that and Morgan's avatar now appears to show him kissing the woman we assume to be his girlfriend, and his Twi...

Lance Armstrong Admits To Doping. Did Oprah Make Him Cry?

Congrats, AP—big fucking scoop, for those of us who have been on the ISS this past week. In his interview with Oprah Winfrey taped today (it'll air Thursday and be two hours long and on a channel no one gets), Armstrong confessed to using performance enhancing drugs. This gets a "breaking" from the ...

Kenny Britt Still Hasn't Talked To Police About His Friend's Stabbing, And No One Seems To Know Where He Is [UPDATED]

To review: Kenny Britt's friend* was brought to a Jersey City hospital early Sunday morning after having been stabbed during a fight that reportedly involved a lot of people. His injuries were not life-threatening. Britt, the Tennessee Titans wide receiver, was with his brother when his brother got ...