ew Page 2693 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hector "Macho" Camacho Is Dead At 50
Despite doctors' initial belief that Hector "Macho" Camacho would make a full recovery from a shooting earlier this week in Puerto Rico, the boxer died early this morning after being taken off life support....
Which TV Market Is Getting Screwed This Sunday? An Analysis Of Week 12 NFL Viewing Maps
The NFL's regional programming rules are famously byzantine, but luckily the506.com cuts through the bullshit for you, providing weekly maps that allow us to answer the only question that really matters: Which fans are the most screwed this Sunday?...
Cleveland Newspaper Headline Inadvertently Says Browns Have No Balls
There's already Sunday's planned giveaway of white flags, and now there's this headline in today's Plain Dealer. Steelers week really brings out the city's subtlety, doesn't it?...
<em>Hitchcock</em>: For The Birds
Over time, great individuals can attain such a level of public adoration that any sort of criticism leveled against them is treated as sacrilege, whether they be Abe Lincoln, Mother Teresa, or a Beatle not named Ringo. Naturally, that inspires a certain kind of person to take dead aim at such sacred...
Kenyan Orphanage Reenacts Larry Bird's Steal Against The Pistons
A group of Kenyan schoolchildren had already recreated Boston's misery, but they make up for it with this one, from Game 5 of the 1987 NBA Eastern Conference finals. Except for Bill Walton's dopey high-five, it's all here—Isiah Thomas's pass, Larry Bird's steal, Dennis Johnson's layup, the hugs, t...
Gift Guide Roundup: Your Best Suggestions For People Who Like To Drink
The holiday season is also the booze season, and so we had the lot of you help us come up with some great gift ideas for people who like alcohol. Here's what we ended up with....
Chiefs Receiver Delivers Thanksgiving Meal To Old Lady. Old Lady Reminds Him How Much The Chiefs Suck.
For the last 20 years or so, Chiefs players have spent part of their Thanksgiving holidays personally delivering meals to needy residents in the Kansas City area. It goes without saying that it's a noble gesture—the players get to give something to the community, members of the community get to spen...
High School Teacher Goes Bananas After Sinking Three-Pointer At Halftime
David Cutler is a history and journalism teacher at Palmer Trinity school in Florida—he's not a basketball player. So his form on a 44-footer, taken at halftime of a game last week, left something to be desired. The result did not, nor did his reaction....
Gift Guide Roundup: Your Best Suggestions For People Who Are Sad About The NHL Lockout
The NHL lockout continues apace, and all of your friends who are hockey fans continue to be sad about it. Based on your helpful suggestions, here are some things you should consider buying those sad sacks for Christmas....
Last Night's NFL Broadcast Featured A Lot Of Jets Fans Who Were Pissed Off, Ridiculously Dressed, Or Both
Perhaps you heard the Jets lost last night in rather hilarious fashion. The Patriots beat New York up, down, sideways, and into dimensions not yet discovered or even imagined. The result? A lot of sad Jets fans, many of whom put on their finest in turkeyhat millinery just for the occasion. Here are...
Jim Schwartz's Illegal Challenge Doubled The Texans' Chances Of Winning The Game
With the possible exception of the tuck rule, the rule that tripped up the Lions and Jim Schwartz has to be one of the dumbest in the game. You don't have to throw the challenge flag because we'll review it on our own, the rulebook says, but if you throw the challenge flag we won't review it....
How To Eat Your Leftovers: A Guide For Slobs
The morning following Thanksgiving is a bleary, cotton-mouthed, dead-eyed time—a time for questions, a time of Reckoning. "Oh, Jesus, how much did I drink yesterday?" and, "Am I going to die?" and, "Why do I keep doing this to myself?" and, "Am I in Fort Worth? How did I come to be in Fort Worth?" T...
The Jetsiest Jets Play Ever: Mark Sanchez Fumbles After Getting Floored By His Lineman's Ass
A Mark Sanchez fumble, caused by a teammate's ass in mid-pratfall, returned for a touchdown. God bless you, New York Jets. You're one of life's inherently funny things, like words with "k" sounds or Millard Fillmore or talking bears. ...
Gift Guide Roundup: Your Best Sports Shirts Suggestions
We asked you to point us in the direction of some cool sports shirts, and you did not disappoint. Here's what to buy people who like sports and shirts for Christmas....
Take Your "Elite" Quarterback Argument And Shove It Up Your Stupid Butthole
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
Ben Roethlisberger Spawned
According to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Ben Roethlisberger announced on his website that he and his wife, Ashley, whom he did not meet in the bathroom of some college bar, had a son at 10:06 p.m. yesterday. It's a seven-pound, one-ounce baby boy, and his name is Benjamin Roethlisberger Jr. No word...
Gift Guide Roundup: Your Best Instant Throwback Suggestions
Last week, we asked all of you to tell us what instant throwbacks would make for the best Christmas gifts, because instant throwbacks are funny. Here's what you came up with, and a few that we thought of as well....
Here's A Young Basketball Fan Unabashedly Ogling A Cheerleader
I kind of feel bad for this kid. I mean, you can see the exact moment that he goes into total sensory overload. He's got courtside seats, and then there is free candy in his face, and then OH MY GOD BOOBIES. SUCH BIG BOOBIES. It's too much for one young man to handle....
Eating: A Strategic Guide
How does one eat a Thanksgiving meal? On its face this might seem like a ridiculous question, and also everywhere else too. I mean, who doesn't know how to eat? (Excepting the British, of course.) Thanksgiving is marked, more than anything else, by its abundance of tasty foodstuffs; practically spea...
Bristolmetrics: <i>SportsCenter</i> Introduces WAR, Degenerates Into Shouting About Basement-Dwelling Nerds
This a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week....