ew Page 2823 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Shia LaBeouf Wants You To Take Him Seriously
Being successful sure is nice, but what everybody really wants is to be taken seriously. Whether it's Woody Allen following up Annie Hall with the dour Interiors, George Michael turning away from the pop stardom of Faith for the confessional Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1, or Robin Williams decidin...
![That Crazy Red Sox/Dodgers Trade Will Never Happen, But Could You Imagine? [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17wzi2p4tznkxjpg.jpg)
That Crazy Red Sox/Dodgers Trade Will Never Happen, But Could You Imagine? [UPDATES]
Carl Crawford cleared waivers a couple weeks ago. Josh Beckett is on the wire too. Today, it was reported that Adrian Gonzalez was claimed by the Dodgers. The Red Sox want to get younger and cheaper. The Dodgers have the means, motive and opportunity to go for a title now. These are all the ingredie...

Some Unfortunate Couple Got An Islanders-Themed Box To Hold Their Wedding Gifts
What you see above is the gift box for all of the envelopes Sarah and Mike received at their recent wedding reception in Island Park, N.Y. The photo was sent to us by commenter Bring Back Anthony Mason, who wrote:...

Dead Letters: "Wishing You A Lifetime Of Genital Herpes And Shingles"
Subject: Ephesians...
![NBC's <em>The 'Lights</em> [Sic]: Like <em>SportsCenter</em>, But With Sports](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17wziwoeubmmijpg.jpg)
NBC's <em>The 'Lights</em> [Sic]: Like <em>SportsCenter</em>, But With Sports
The morning after the London Olympics came to a close, NBC Sports Network (né Versus, né Outdoor Life Network) premiered The 'Lights, described by the network as as "a catalyst for our new programming lineup" that "will quickly provide sports fans all of the scores and highlights they crave as they ...

That Time Toby Gerhart Got Adrian Peterson's Sports Car Stuck In The Snow
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: a tale of two running backs....

"The 11 Hottest Paralympic Athletes" Is A Slideshow That Exists
Not saying this is noteworthy, or exploitative, or any less pageview-baity than all the other "X hottest Ys" slideshows out there. Just saying it exists. [MSN]...

Bill "Spaceman" Lee, Age 65, Threw A Complete Game Last Night
The high—and I do mean high—priest of baseball eccentrics hasn't pitched in the majors since 1982, but he's still out there, you know, man, and he's still pitching, 65 years young. Last night, the Spaceman took the mound for the San Rafael (Calif.) Pacifics of the independent North American League. ...

What The Hell Happened To Lance Armstrong? All Your Doping Scandal Questions, Answered
Some people pay attention to cycling. Others pay attention to cycling only when the most successful American cyclist of all time is banned from the sport and stripped of his seven Tour de France titles. If you're in that second group, Lance Armstrong's ban has likely left you with some questions. He...

Howie Kendrick's Mustache Last Night Was, Erm, Unique
Last night's 14-13 Angels win over Boston in extras was a testament to agricultural arson, but some viewers seemed preoccupied with the status of Howie Kendrick's mustache....

Miguel Cairo Fails To Make The Easiest Play Ever
After Juan Pierre led off the Phillies' half of the ninth with a single, it was pretty obvious Kevin Frandsen was going to try to bunt him over to second to put the winning run in scoring position. And once Frandsen got the bunt down and the ball rolled toward Miguel Cairo, it was pretty obvious Cai...

Student-Athletes To Be Slightly Less Exploited, At Least In California
We learned, from Taylor Branch's history, that the term "student-athlete" only arose as a (successful) attempt by the NCAA to avoid having to pay workman's comp to injured players. A Colorado football player, killed by a head injury in the '50s, wasn't entitled to a thing from the NCAA—no health car...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Miami Dolphins
Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

All Seven Of Lance Armstrong's Tour De France Wins Would Now Go To Cyclists With Doping Scandals Of Their Own
Now Lance Armstrong has been stripped of his seven consecutive Tour de France titles, thanks to the persistent doping allegations against him. It's a sad day for the sport, but at least it vindicates all of the clean-riding cyclists who finished behind Armstrong. Right? So here are the runners-up wh...

Chris Johnson Owes You Money: The Deadspin 2012 AFC Fantasy Football Preview
If you missed our NFC fantasy preview, you can find it right here. And now, it's time for the AFC portion of our annual Deadspin fantasy guide ... FLESH FOR FANTASYYYYYYYYY!!!...

Astros Owner Open To Signing Roger Clemens, But Doesn't Want It To Be A "Publicity Stunt"
You have to give the Astros credit. If they're going to go through with this Roger Clemens cahoots-laden charade, they're going to try and squeeze every last revenue dollar out of it....

Last Night's WNBC Evening News Featured A Graphic Only <em>Celebrity Jeopardy!</em>'s Sean Connery Could Love
Here's a lower third graphic teasing Bruce Beck's sportscast for last night's 6 p.m. news on WNBC in New York. It's a priceless find for anyone familiar with this wonderful moment in SNL history or those who occasionally miss spaces. (Or toilet bowls.)...

USADA Chief Confirms Lifetime Ban, Loss Of Titles For Lance Armstrong
In his statement released Thursday evening, ex-seven-time Tour de France-winner Lance Armstrong lashed out at the head of the US Anti-Doping Agency for conducting an "unconstitutional witch hunt." He also criticized USADA for his lack of evidence:...

Lance Armstrong Drops Fight Against Doping Charges, Will Likely Be Stripped Of Tour Titles And Banned For Life
Seven-time Tour de France-winning cyclist Lance Armstrong has dropped his fight against doping charges leveled at him by the US Anti-Doping Agency. This means that he likely will be stripped of each Tour de France title and banned from competitive cycling for life. Specifically, he'll be stripped o...

Report: Ball State Players Caught Trying To Shoplift "Male Enhancement Pills"
It has not been a good day for Ball State defensive end Jonathan Newsome, seen here during happier times in 2009, after securing a trip to the Rose Bowl as a member of Ohio State. Newsome transferred to Ball State last year and was ready to join the team after sitting out his redshirt season. Except...