ew Page 2852 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Beer Of The Week: Stella Artois, Belgium's Allegedly French Beer
Apparently Stella Artois used to be advertised in the U.K. under the slogan "reassuringly expensive." Without knowing the relative merits of price and quality across the pond, I can only rejoice that such a snotty tagline has gone the way of doctors prescribing cigarettes. There is nothing reassurin...

The Marlins Specifically Promised Not To Trade Jose Reyes And Mark Buehrle, Traded Jose Reyes And Mark Buehrle
Need another reason to hate the Marlins? Let's add this to the list (there's seriously a list): not only did the Miami Marlins and their awful ownership trade away half the team—they did so despite promising at least two stars, who signed with the Marlins this summer hoping to stay in Miami for some...

Odell Beckham, Jr.'s 89-Yard Punt Return Tied Things Up For LSU Against Ole Miss
In a run that reminded old-timers of Billy Cannon's feat against the Rebels in 1959, LSU's Odell Beckham, Jr. sprinted 89 yards on a punt return to tie things up between the Tigers and Ole Miss this afternoon and lending life to a seventh-ranked team that had up to that point left a usually "Deaf"...

The Mismanaged, Crazy Jets Might Be Keeping Tebow On The Bench Because They Can't Afford The Incentives In His Contract
One of the great things about the Jets this year—the only great thing, perhaps—is that by dealing for Tim Tebow, emphasizing the extent to which they'd use him (they said it would 25% of snaps), and not using him nearly that much (it was 10.1% before week ten and inched slightly higher after), they'...

Rick Majerus Is Retiring Due To Heart Problems, So Let's Remember His Career The Way He'd Want It Remembered
Rick Majerus will no longer be lumbering up and down the sidelines at St. Louis University: He's been forced into retirement by a heart condition. The nature of Majerus's exit has led to a bunch of staid and somber reflections on his life and career, with passsages like this, from USA Today:...

The Ballad Of The Other J.R. Smith, Web Designer And Recipient Of Much Of The Praise And Scorn Meant For The Knicks' J.R. Smith
Via Trey Kerby, the above mournful tweet, from J.R. Smith, the web designer (and, as his Twitter bio puts it, "NOT A BASKETBALL PLAYER"). If you're wondering how the other J.R. Smith can tell basketball season has started up, well, social media really has a way of putting people in touch with their ...

Fingers Are Not Supposed To Look Like Georgia Southern's Valdon Cooper's Finger Looks
FCS squad Georgia Southern has already got their work cut out for them, facing the Georgia Bulldogs in one of today's many "guarantee" games. Their disadvantage got even worse when defensive back Valdon Cooper suffered a really, really gross finger injury, which we've accented with the usual Deads...

This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....

University Of Florida Marketing Dept. Outlaws The Acrobatic Parts Of Cheerleading In Response To An Orlando Magic Cheerleader Injury, UF Cheerleaders Righteously Pissed
On Tuesday, Jamie Woode, a member of the Orlando Magic cheerleading squad and "stunt team"—that's where they throw you around—fell during a between-quarter routine and landed on her head and neck, fracturing three vertebrae and breaking a rib. It was scary and uncomfortable to see her on the groun...
!["Kiffen [Sic] Has Soft Balls": Your Roundup Of The Best Signs Behind The College Gameday Crew](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/185lpdilrfblnjpg.jpg)
"Kiffen [Sic] Has Soft Balls": Your Roundup Of The Best Signs Behind The College Gameday Crew
It was very, very dark in Oregon at the beginning of this Gameday installment, so big shout-out to University of Oregon students for not only being awake, but for having made their signs the night before....

Lee Corso Almost Killed A Duck On College Gameday
At this point, we have no grounds for saying whether or not the duck is dead. The duck could be alive, it could be in the final, painful throes of death, it could be totally OK—maybe ducks are more resilient than they look. Maybe. We're not veterinarians. All we know is that the duck was not happy...

How To Make A Thanksgiving Side Dish: A Guide For Slackers And Overgrown Children
So Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and if you're lucky, somebody the hell else is hosting it. Lost amid all the talk in recent years of various turkey-cooking methods—the relative merits of roasting versus deep-frying; whether to brine the bird or cook it upside down or baste it every few f...

"I'm 38 Years Old, Baby": Things Rasheed Wallace Said, Did, And Pointed At During Last Night's Knicks Game
Rasheed Wallace: lover, fighter, hilarious training camp invitee, and talker of the best trash in the NBA. On Tuesday, he yelled "Yeah, Aflac!" at Aaron Afflalo after Afflalo bricked a free throw; last night, he yelled everything at everybody after they did anything. Here is your courtside Sheed exp...

In His Battle With The Rockets, Royce White Throws Out The Nuclear Option And Takes A Stand Against Professional Sports
Royce White's been struggling. Picked 16th by the Rockets this summer, the hybrid forward was demoted to the D-League on Monday, went AWOL for about a day, and resurfaced to accuse the Rockets of mishandling his increasingly famous anxiety disorder. The Rockets wouldn't concede that point, and start...

Your Week 12 College Football Master Schedule
Schedule and broadcasters via and cross-referenced with. If you spot any errors, let us know below. Conferences reflect home teams. Ranked teams bold; rankings from the USA Today Coaches Poll. Times (EST)....

The Ditka Family Had A Pretty Rough Friday
Mark Ditka, son of Mike, is currently awaiting trial in Lake County, Illinois for his fourth DUI arrest, and for possession of a controlled substance (hydrocodone) turned up during the ensuing search of his car....

Don't Worry, Rest Of College Football, Alabama's Only Getting The Leading High School Rusher Of All Time Next Year
It's been a good week for college football teams not named "Alabama" because they've been able to bask in the notion, however mistaken, that the gap Alabama between themselves and Alabama is closing. A loss to Texas A&M dropped the Crimson Tide to a previously unthinkable 9-1, and now the team finds...

A Frustrated Neil Everett Muttered "Son Of A Bitch, Goddammitdangit" Live On <em>SportsCenter</em>
An apparently rough episode of SportsCenter got the best of anchor Neil Everett tonight, as going to break a hot microphone caught the personality muttering some mildly inappropriate language at the end of tonight's 1 a.m. show....

The NCAA Has Reinstated UCLA's Shabazz Muhammad
Just another day in the lovely, just world of college sports. UCLA's star freshman, Shabazz Muhammad, was declared ineligible before his first game last week. His crime? He took money from a family friend to fund unofficial recruiting visits to Duke and North Carolina. Both schools had told him he w...

<em>Life Of Pi</em>'s Ang Lee: The World's Least-Cool Great Director
It's hard to classify Ang Lee, whose latest movie, Life of Pi, comes out on Wednesday. He's a respected, acclaimed director—he won an Oscar for Brokeback Mountain—but he's not in any one niche. He's not a purely commercial filmmaker—his one stab at that was Hulk—but he's also not a challenging, prov...