ew Page 2964 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Early This Morning Delonte West Tweeted A Picture Of His Vomit-Soiled Clothes From The Bathroom
Delonte West was sick last night, but still managed to play 27 minutes and score five points on two of five shooting. Then he presumably went home a puked all over the place, took a picture and exclaimed "I think that's the last of it....I feel like my soul just tried to get out my body...gotd#mn!!...

Minnesota Vikings Running Back Caleb King May Have Fractured Someone's Skull At A Birthday Party
Caleb King was an undrafted free agent last year from Georgia and spent most of the year on the Vikings practice squad. This weekend he was invited to a birthday party that apparently raged until 3:00 a.m., only to end with King allegedly beating a fellow reveler to such an extent he suffered skull...

Joe Cowley: The Best Sexist Around, Nothing's Gonna Ever Keep Him Down
So, Joe Cowley. Hilarious satirist, or serial sexist? We'll try to address that soon, but first, let's discuss why you are watching the final tournament fight scene from The Karate Kid scored to Joe Esposito's "You're The Best Around." It seems Cowley had a signature sign off for those he was thro...

London Olympics To Be Protected By Rooftop Missile Launchers
The British Ministry of Defence recently informed residents of an "upscale apartment development" near Olympic Park that it plans to install a "missile battery" on the development's property....

Report Card: Grading The NFL Draft Grades
It's that time of year, when we assign nebulous indicators of quality to the impossibly difficult to evaluate drafting of NFL talent. We'll look at the some of the best and brightest draft grades and let you know how each organization did in grading the 2012 NFL Draft. We realize that grading the g...

Hello, Friends! A Young Jim Nantz In A Hot Tub With John Stockton And The Utah Jazz
According to the information provided by the YouTube uploader, this interview occurred prior to Utah's decisive Game 5 win over the Houston Rockets in the 1985 NBA Playoffs. It's times like this when it's fun to reflect back to quiet dignity with which Nantz read promo after promo for Lizard Towin...

<i>Chicago Sun-Times</i> Columnist Joe Cowley Rides A Plane, Degrades Women Everywhere
Ever since Jay Marrioti fell off the face of the planet, the Chicago Sun-Times has been a little light in the abusive-toward-females department. This morning, Joe Cowley (pictured, far right) bravely stepped in to assume the role, in an albeit verbal, yet no less demeaning manner when he took on on...

Today In Free Kicks: Kyle Walker, Young-Pyo Lee Produced Two Of The Most Gorgeous Goals You'll Ever See
The past 20 hours have been outstanding for fans of set pieces, as two beautiful free kick goals found the net and proved decisive in their respective games. Spurs back Kyle Walker secured victory for his squad in their match this morning against Blackburn with the above strike, a curving weasel o...

Yu Darvish Reps Are Going After The "Yu Is My Homeboy" Shirts
Signing an international star is an exciting time for a team, the players and fans. It's also a time to make a shitload of money. One Texas Rangers fan tried to do just that, even getting a hand from catcher Mike Napoli....

David Wells Is Selling The Signed Babe Ruth Yankee Hat He Once Wore In A Game
David Wells says he's not in any financial trouble, he's just tired of keeping track of all the various bits of memorabilia he owns. Among the artifacts he's getting rid of is the signed Babe Ruth Yankee hat he wore in the first inning of a game on June 28, 1997 at the house his hat's previous owne...

Colin Fraser Came To Regret Starring In Madonna's "Like A Prayer" Video
The eight-seeded L.A. Kings jumped out to a 1-0 lead in their series against St. Louis with a 3-1 win continuing a remarkable streak of success that suggests maybe fan favorite Jack Johnson, jettisoned in a trade to Columbus near the deadline, was more clubhouse cancer than Brushfire Fairytale....

Alleged Red Sox Fan Gets Her Face Kicked At Yankee Stadium
Please, sports viewing world, do not judge all Yankee fans by these hooligans with their bootleg name-on-the-back-jerseys, they were just defending themselves from this aggressive alleged Red Sox fan who lost her way. The Yankees may have been listless against the Tigers this afternoon, but these ...

Bryce Harper Has His First Major League Hit, Possibly Because Dodgers Fans Were Mooning Their Own Pitcher
Nationals rookie Bryce Harper doubled in his third MLB at-bat, giving him his first hit in the majors. More importantly, though, it happened as some fans behind home plate had their bare asses out and pointing toward the mound. Why? I don't know. Does it matter? No. [PRIME]...

Here's Gus Johnson Calling The San Jose Earthquakes' Exciting Last-Second Win
We heard last week from our friends at Awful Announcing that excitable announcer Gus Johnson had picked up the strange gig of calling MLS games on radio for the San Jose Earthquakes. We tuned in tonight, and were not disappointed. While our emeritus editor Will Leitch has concluded that Johnson's...

Bryce Harper's First Major League At-Bat Was A Comebacker
He's clearly doomed to failure....

LeBron James Has Ushered In The NBA Playoffs Flop Era
While debate continues to rage in regard to whether Tyson Chandler's screen on LeBron James today really accounted for a flagrant foul, there's no doubt that LeBron augmented the impact with his own brand of thespianism. The incident set Jeff Van Gundy off on another rant about flopping, and is a ...

Here's Something You Don't See Every Day: Adam Schefter Reports Derrick Rose Is Out For The Year With A Torn ACL
Moments ago, Adam Schefter just interrupted ESPN's wall-to-wall coverage of the NFL Draft and announced that Rose will miss the rest of the playoffs with a torn ACL following that awkward play in the final minutes of Chicago's game today....

New Seattle Seahawk Bobby Wagner Was In The Shitter When He Was Drafted
In one of the more appropriate instances of places to find out you got drafted by the Seattle Seahawks, Utah State linebacker Bobby Wagner learned the news while he was in the bathroom. Wagner was interrupted, but full of joy nonetheless....

Witness The Last Gasp Of Local News Reporting As It Repeatedly Hits On St. Louis Cardinal David Freese
Here is World Series MVP David Freese being subjected to quite possibly the most uncomfortably awkward fluff piece ever. Six Flags has a Mr. Freeze roller coaster and Show Me St. Louis' Julie Tristan decided it would be the perfect excuse to continually hit on the young Cardinal. She even brought i...

Luis Suarez Finished A Hat Trick With An Unbelievably Stupid Shot From Just Past Midfield
Liverpool striker and alleged racist Luis Suarez capped off a hat trick against Norwich City today with a ridiculous, stupid strike from 45 yards out. We use the words "ridiculous" and "stupid" here unironically. For him to take this shot with an nearly open pitch in front of him (and teammate St...