ew Page 3040 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Brian Downing, Krystal Restaurant Named In "Alabama Teabagger" Lawsuit
Remember Brian Downing? He's the gentleman alleged to have been caught on video performing a certain sexual act on a passed-out LSU fan in the hours after the BCS Championship game this year in New Orleans. (See our full coverage here.) That act, which the New Orleans Times-Picayune describes as "p...

After Amar'e Stoudemire Fouled Out, He Was Gonna Help Shane Battier Up, But ... Nah
Last night, we showed you how the Heat's PA guy made a corny reference to Stoudemire being "extinguished from the game" when he fouled out. But this video shows you what happens at the end of that clip, when Amar'e decides to lend a helping hand before he doesn't....

Jon Hamm To Star In That Disney Movie About Those Pitchers From India The Pirates Signed
According to Deadline Hollywood, the Mad Men star and former Deadspin commenter will play a leading role in the upcoming Disney treatment of Million Dollar Arm. Hamm will play J.B. Bernstein, the real-life sports agent who "discovered" Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel and got them deals with the Pittsbu...

Bruce Bochy Just Can't Bear To Watch Anymore
These are down days in The City, with Pablo Sandoval out for weeks after hand surgery, Willie Mota busted for drugs, and a defense that's let down every pitcher on the staff....

The Heat PA Guy Announced Amar'e Stoudemire Fouling Out As "He Has Been Extinguished From The Game"
Ha! Ha! Get it? Because he severely injured his hand punching a fire extinguisher! You're winning friends the right way, Miami Heat. (We isolated the arena audio track so you can hear it more easily.) [TNT]...

CBC's Ron MacLean Attempts Tortured Comparison Of Hockey Players To 9/11 First Responders, Fails
CBC host Ron MacLean opened tonight's coverage of the Stanley Cup playoff Game Six bout between the Capitals and Rangers with an extended and tortuous metaphor claiming the players were "like firefighters, like police officers," and throwing in 9/11 references....

Cubs Ballgirl Caught On Camera Writing Note Was Rejecting Fan's Request For Her Phone Number
The video you see above made its way around the internet in recent days, and had even been sent to us by a handful of tipsters. All we knew was what we saw: A ballgirl at Wrigley Field filling out a note and handing it to a ballpark attendant. Naturally, an expert (read: Cubs broadcaster Bob Brenl...

Before Steve Kerr Sends 19-Year-Old Players Back To College, He Should Try Some Academic Research Himself
Former NBA star Steve Kerr penned a lengthy, multi-sectioned argument in Grantland this week in which he not only defends the NBA's current ban on players under age 19 but pushes for the minimum age to be raised to 20. Forcing young people to spend more time as scholar-athletes, according to Kerr, ...

Another Mike Leach Book Inscription: "Anybody But Craig James For Senator"
Last night, we showed you the personalized message Washington State football coach Mike Leach left when autographing a copy of his book for a fan, which referenced the possibility that Craig James killed five hookers while at SMU....

The Harvard Baseball Lip-Synch Video That's Sweeping The Nation
Suffice it to say, I had no clue who Carly Rae Jepsen was when this video started circulating a couple of days ago. Evidently, the song is called "Call Me Maybe," which I also had to look up because I hadn't ever heard it before. Our old pal Emma Carmichael called it "the new perfect pop song" bac...

Fenway Park Public Address Announcer Killed In Car Accident
Sad news out of Boston this afternoon as police have announced that Carl Beane, the public address announcer at Fenway Park since 2003, was killed earlier today in a one-car crash in Sturbridge. He was 59 years old....

Greg Oden Says He Became An Alcoholic, Got Offers To Work In Porn
Mark Titus has a piece over at Grantland that offers a "rare and candid" look at the reclusive Greg Oden, who was finally released by the Trail Blazers in March after five seasons marked mostly by injuries. Titus, who writes about his basketball experiences on his blog, Club Trillion, acknowledges u...

A Special Graduation Message To The Class Of 2012
I had a long drive home the night that I found out my son was in grave danger of being born too early. Not long in the sense of distance, but long in an existential way, the way that a minute spent waiting in a dentist's office is far longer than a minute spent hooking up with someone for the first ...

Spokeswoman For Craig James Denies He Killed Five Hookers While At SMU (OK, Whatever)
It's the probing question that keeps the world's brightest minds up at night: Did unpopular Texas Republican Craig James actually kill five hookers while at Southern Methodist? Tim Rogers, an editor at D Magazine in Dallas, finally got James campaign spokeswoman Meredith Turney on the phone for a fr...

Tim Burton Bottoms Out. <em>Dark Shadows</em>, Reviewed.
1. How was there ever a time that we considered Tim Burton weird? He certainly isn't weird now—give this guy a slight haircut and he's essentially an insurance salesman—but in retrospect, knowing the bloated, self-satisfied cookie-cutter hack Burton turned out to be makes one wonder what all the exc...

"Singer Michael Bolton Hits Hole-In-One," Writes Man Who Hired Sarah Phillips
That's the latest from ESPN senior Jonas Brothers correspondent and ace talent scout Lynn Hoppes, whom we've met around these parts before. [ESPN]...

Craig James's Senate Campaign Nears Its Sad, Inevitable Conclusion
There's a new poll out in the race to win the Republican nomination for Texas's open Senate seat, and it's not good news for skilled communicator Craig James, whose campaign has now hit some sort of sad nadir that even we didn't think was possible....

A Brazilian Player Protested His Yellow Card By Doing The Moonwalk
Here's something totally normal from Brazil's Série A. Sport Recife defender Tobi gets booked during the first leg of the Campeonato Pernambucano final (a regional championship) and, when asked by the referee to turn around so the ref can see his number, performs the moonwalk. While American audie...

Better Know An Umpire: Brian Knight
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

For Sale: Bobby Petrino's Wrecked Motorcycle, Needs Some Repair
If you're into making investments you have no chance of recouping, have I got a deal for you. Bobby Petrino's 2007 Harley Davidson, the same one the former Arkansas football coach allegedly crashed while riding with ex-university employee Jessica Dorrell, is up for auction at Copart.com, and while t...