ew Page 3041 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tim Burton Bottoms Out. <em>Dark Shadows</em>, Reviewed.
1. How was there ever a time that we considered Tim Burton weird? He certainly isn't weird now—give this guy a slight haircut and he's essentially an insurance salesman—but in retrospect, knowing the bloated, self-satisfied cookie-cutter hack Burton turned out to be makes one wonder what all the exc...
"Singer Michael Bolton Hits Hole-In-One," Writes Man Who Hired Sarah Phillips
That's the latest from ESPN senior Jonas Brothers correspondent and ace talent scout Lynn Hoppes, whom we've met around these parts before. [ESPN]...
Craig James's Senate Campaign Nears Its Sad, Inevitable Conclusion
There's a new poll out in the race to win the Republican nomination for Texas's open Senate seat, and it's not good news for skilled communicator Craig James, whose campaign has now hit some sort of sad nadir that even we didn't think was possible....
A Brazilian Player Protested His Yellow Card By Doing The Moonwalk
Here's something totally normal from Brazil's Série A. Sport Recife defender Tobi gets booked during the first leg of the Campeonato Pernambucano final (a regional championship) and, when asked by the referee to turn around so the ref can see his number, performs the moonwalk. While American audie...
Better Know An Umpire: Brian Knight
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...
For Sale: Bobby Petrino's Wrecked Motorcycle, Needs Some Repair
If you're into making investments you have no chance of recouping, have I got a deal for you. Bobby Petrino's 2007 Harley Davidson, the same one the former Arkansas football coach allegedly crashed while riding with ex-university employee Jessica Dorrell, is up for auction at Copart.com, and while t...
Last Night JaVale McGee Did A Lot Of Great Things, At Least One Bad Thing, And A Very Strange Thing
The Denver Nuggets forced a Game Six in their series with the Lakers last night with a 109-99 win at Staples Center, and JaVale McGee played a big part in the team's success with 21 points, 14 rebounds, and a number of highlight reel plays you can view here....
Down And Out In Baseball's Indie Leagues; Or, What Made Tommy John Want To Rake The Infield?
A dispatch from our correspondent with the Bridgeport Bluefish, an unaffiliated team in the Atlantic League....
Vladimir Putin's Game-Winning Goal Against The "Legends Of Russia" Was So Obvious
Here's a sporting feat that even Kim Jong Il would've appreciated. Just hours after his presidential inauguration Monday, Vladimir Putin led a team of amateur hockey players against a squad known as the Legends of Russia, which included such former professionals as Slava Fetisov, who just happens ...
Despite Hitting Four Home Runs, Josh Hamilton Could Not Secure A Majority Of The Player Of The Game Vote
In you were in the mood to have your head explode this morning, here you go. (Obviously this is the poll taken on the Baltimore MASN broadcast, which may be a measure of the grasp Orioles fans have on reality, or at least Orioles fans who possess cell phones.)...
Bristolmetrics: <em>SportsCenter</em> Said "Fire Extinguisher" More Times Than "Kobe Bryant" Last Week
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....
How An Ohio State Blog's Reporting Led To The Arrest Of A Fan Who's A Convicted Sex Offender
Ohio State fan-perv Charles Eric Waugh was arrested last night in Boyd County, Ky., on charges of violating his probation. The arrest was the culmination of some terrific investigative work in the last week by the OSU blog Land-Grant Holy Land, which was the first to discover Waugh had pled guilty ...
Apparently, Popeye Jones's Son Is One Hell Of A Hockey Player
Seth Jones of Plano, Texas, is a 6-foot-3, 201-pound defenseman and quite possibly the best young American-born hockey player in the country. He was the captain of the USA Under-18 team that recently won gold at the World Championships in the Czech Republic. He's also the only player on that team wh...
Merril Hoge's Little Tie Is Adorable
ESPN NFL analyst Merril Hoge is a connoisseur of the cravat, and has drawn a reputation for his ridiculously thick knots that would fit in better on the set of Barney Miller than that of NFL Live. A segment today forced Hoge to remove his jacket—and thus revealing that such a wide Windsor comes wit...
Ozzie Guillen Tells Reporter To "Fucking Grow Up" For Asking About Fidel Castro
Shock of shocks, it appears as if Miami Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen isn't feeling as contrite and apologetic as he was a month ago when he apologized profusely for making some controversial comments about Fidel Castro. Guillen was subsequently suspended, he made a heartfelt plea for forgiveness,...
This Home Run Ball Painfully Defied The Laws Of Physics
I didn't take many science courses in college, but the curvature of this ball is just astounding to witness. Off some guy's right arm and into another's junk before it careens off a woman's unsuspecting face. Poor fella. Poor lady....
Better Know An Umpire: Jim Joyce
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...
How Bobcat Goldthwait Became A True Artist Of Independent Cinema. (Seriously.)
Bobcat Goldthwait, in almost every possible fashion, belongs on the list of those creatures who could only have come of celebrity age in the '80s, along with Emmanuel Lewis, Grace Jones, and Dr. Ruth. When the highlight of your popularity is that you were the star of the second through fourth Police...
Massive Cycling Crash Results In Momentary Panic Over The Pink Jersey's Whereabouts
Frankly, I'm torn on which call is better: The American version, courtesy of Universal Sports, or the slightly more measured Russian perspective as heard on Eurosport. As for Phinney, he kept his pink jersey, got some X-rays at a local hospital, and returned to practice today, cankles and all....
NESN Invites Fans To Submit Questions For Bobby Valentine, Gets Flood Of Boy Band-Related Inquiries Instead
Like many official MLB team broadcasters, NESN features a program centered around the squad's manager. (NESN's version is helpfully titled The Bobby Valentine Show.)...