ew Page 3530 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sean Avery Still Has The Magic Touch
I have been complaining that Sean Avery has been handcuffed by the NHL's fun police, but I need not have worried. The guy still has a few stupid and annoying tricks in his bag....

This Guy Has A Problem With Dwyane Wade
Some days, you wake up to emails containing videos of drunk billionaires verbally accosting Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade in a parking garage. Today is one of those days. (UPDATE)...

Sometimes A Baseball Game Is Just A Baseball Game
Baseball as a metaphor for recession and these troubled times? Maybe, maybe not, but reading about baseball players attempting to wax philosophical on the matter is always entertaining. [Vanity Fair]...

Please Refrain From Humping The $1.5 Billion Stadium, Thank You
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

The Hoff Can't Get Enough Dwyane Wade
Prime 112 in Miami closed for Alonzo Mourning's private retirement party on Monday, but that doesn't stop David Hasselhoff from showing up, asking to hug Alonzo and Dwyane Wade. [Miami Herald]...

Giants Rid Themselves Of Plaxico Burress
Ralph Vacchiano of the Daily News calls this move "shocking" but that seems a little overboard. What else were the Giants supposed do with Plaxico Burress?...

'Favre Just Dropped An F5,' And Other Observations On Jock-Female Relations
It's time for Waxing Off, the only Internet feature which can tell the time in the U.S., London and Prague. Today's topic; why the rules for dating women seem to be different for top athletes....

Hal Steinbrenner, Captain Of The Obvious
The quiet, less annoying Steinbrenner boy says some of the tickets at Yankee Stadium "might be overpriced." Also, World War II might have gotten a few people killed. [ESPN]...

Brewers Fan Saves Bikini Girl From Rogue Home Run Ball
Imagine a young woman innocently sunbathing at a baseball game, when a vicious home run ball comes rocketing toward her unsuspecting frame, with nothing but a bikini top to defend herself? What do you do?!...

Kim Kardashian And Photoshop Not Getting Along Lately
So here's an interesting photo from the Reggie Bush-Kim Kardashian spread in the April issue of GQ. Anyone see anything wrong here? Or more specifically, anything missing?...

Brave Woman Gives Eyewitness Testimony Of The Salisbury Cell Phone Incident
The Sean Salisbury cell phone saga has always seemed to me to be a lot like the legend of Bigfoot; shrouded in mystery, leaving large tracks but not much in the way of tangible proof....

I Think We Can All Agree That The FAKE Seahawks' New Jerseys Are Hideous (With Update)
The new neon green Seahawks alternate jersey, shown here assaulting our senses so completely, turns out to be a joke, perpetrated by those rascals at Uniwatch Blog....

Oh, Bill, Don't Interview JoePa Right After He Wakes Up From His Nap
Paterno being interviewed by Bill Raftery at last night's PSU/ND NIT game: "Everyone says it's a black mans game. When I played it was a Jewish mans game." [HHR]...

Pat Bowlen To Cutler: JUST GO AWAY, YOU STUPID BABY
Actually it was a bit more reasonable than that — but just as emphatic. So which team will snag Jay Cutler? [DenverPost]...

It Looks Like Andrew Bynum's Knee Is Just Fine
The Lakers' center played in a golf/Playmate-lifting contest at the Playboy Mansion Saturday, despite not playing an NBA game since January because of a bad knee. To be fair, she is filled with helium. [SI]...

Minor League Team Invites You To Watch A Game FROM A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER
If your lifelong dream has been to watch a minor league baseball game from a 1978 GMC van parked just beyond the outfield near a major river, then you're in luck, my fat motivational-speaking friend....

Massachusetts Girls Soccer Coach Resigns Over Hilarious, Possibly Insane Email
If George Patton had coached a girls soccer team, he probably would have run things this way; only without so many references to red meat. Meet Michael Kinahan, ex-coach of the Scituate, Mass. Green Death....

This Is Why You Shouldn't Loan Out Your Home For Drug Murders
Jonathan Vilma doesn't play for New York anymore and hasn't lived in his Long Island condo for two years, but that doesn't mean he should let his drug-dealing "cousin" carry out executions in the kitchen....

Who Is This Dashing Soccer Player, And Why Is He Using His Hands?
Hint: He now makes millions playing a different sport, and once dated Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel. Yes, it's Derek Jeter, whose mom once again forgot to bring the post-game orange slices....

A Night At The Garden With Sean Avery And Friends
Last night, I went to Madison Square Garden for the first time since I caught the circus there at age four, and one thing was immediately clear—Ranger fans love Sean Avery....