ew Page 3625 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Patriots Fans Are Deranged, Buxom
A lot of people say that they're Patriots' fans, but how many are willing to bare their breasts for the cause? (No, not you, sir; please sit down). Sorry if I'm late to the party with this, but I've only just heard of wannabe actress Cheryl Ling, who is better known as the topless Patriots superfan ...

Isiah Passes Grueling Two-Week Evaluation Of Self
Isiah Thomas gave himself two weeks to get his act together, or he would fire himself as coach of the New York Knicks. The two weeks were up on Tuesday, so what's the verdict? Although the Knicks finished 1-4 during that span — including four straight losses — Isiah happily announced on Tuesday that...

When The Saints Go Golfing
It's hard to imagine that less than 12 months ago these two teams were meeting for a chance to play in the Super Bowl. Seriously, they were. I looked it up! Devin Hester (The Jester Molester) returned a 64 yard punt, Neckbeard Orton threw the ball like he was throwing back girly cocktails, and just ...

NFL Roundup: The Perfect Pats
I'd like to extend my sincerest thanks to the NFL for allowing me to watch last night's football game. In fact, If Greg Bryant Gumbel hadn't been calling the action; I might have even considered it one of the most entertaining games I'd ever watched. (Seriously, he blows.) Did I jump off my couch wh...

Can The Giants Slay The Giant?
Better bust out the good potato chips for this one, folks. Instant history kind of demands an "All-Dressed" rippled. The Patriots close out their 2007 regular season against the New York Giants tonight as they attempt to become the fourth team in the NFL's 88-year history to finish a regular season ...

Ex-Yankee Jim Leyritz Drives Drunk, Kills Woman
Oh gee, what a glorious way to end the sports year! Ugh. Former Yankees catcher Jim Leyritz was arrested Friday on charges of driving under the influence and killing another driver. He posted the $11,000 bond and was released. (Note: $11,000 can pay for one hell of a cab ride, Jim.)...

What A Thrilling Sports Week
• You'll actually be able to watch that game tomorrow night. • Man United's fun holiday party. • Kyle Orton is dominant. • This coach is more intense than even Ron Zook. • Roger Clemens "defends" "himself." • Hockey outside? Now we've seen everything. • Bill Belichick, masochist. • Word Of The Year....

Jamboroo, Week 17: Your Holiday Hangover, Featuring The Dreaded Nanking Special
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Year In Review: December
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with December. We're finally done now; it's over. And enjoy the trip down the lane of diminishing memory!...

Sadly, We Won't Get Another MSG Trial
Apparently, the folks over at Madison Square Garden are finally learning a lesson or two: They're settling their sexual harassment lawsuits before they turn into public relations armageddons....

Knicks Ready To 'Turn The Page' After Tragic Coach Mauling
Our story so far: Skeets is still under quarantine in a small room at the Canadian border, and will not return to the NBA Closer until next week. Filling in today is Nancy K. Kopp, Chairman of the Board of Trustees of the Maryland Retirement and Pension Agency....

Year In Review: November
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with November. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature som...

Look, Ugly Yankees Merchandise
So, you're about nine hours from Christmas, and you still haven't bought anything. You're screwed, pretty much. Shame, too; if you had thought ahead, you could have had some hideous New York Yankees gear....

Year In Review: October
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with October. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature some...

Today's Episode: Isiah Has An Epiphany
Skeets is off celebrating Christmas Eve the way that all Canadians do; pantsless and migrating with a herd of elk. So your NBA Closer today is being written by United States Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Alphonso Jackson. Do enjoy....

Let's Take Off This Mask And See Who You REALLY Are
Congratulations to photographer Chris Detrick, who offers up a strong 11th hour entry into Most Disturbing Sports Photo Of The Year. The guy getting his eyes plucked out is BYU's Jonathan Tavernari. The poker is Jason Walberg. Oddly enough, there was no foul on this play, and Tavernari seems to have...
