ew Page 3633 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

David Wright Has A Head Wound
We don't have the slightest idea what the heck David Wright was doing wearing his ninja hat on SNY last night ... but heavens, man, that kid's gone plum crazy. UPDATE: Turns out, this was in honor of cancer patients. Yes. Ahem. Well then. We're dicks.)...

We Suspect The Pats Have Videotape Of The Incident
How do you know the Patriots are having a breakthrough, historic, crossover season? It's not just that they're undefeated; they now have their own crazy stalker lady....

Heat Find A Way To Suck Even In Victory
The Miami Heat hadn't won a game since April 13, and that includes this preseason. So when Jason Williams hit a jumper wirg 19 seconds remaining in the game to give them 75 points, it looked like another loss; the sixth straight of the regularseason. But no! The Knicks — God bless 'em — onloy scored...

October Was Not Kind To The Bay Area
It's been a rough couple of weeks for sports fans in the ol' Bay Area. The Warriors look to have lost last year's sexy playoff mojo; the 49ers are struggling to even notch a 100 yards per game; and the Raiders keep finding (fairly impressive) ways to giveaway football games....

Tennessee Football Players Have It All
• Josh McNeil is living the American Dream. • Sox tickets are more expensive than they used to be. • Yum yum. • Maverick! • Unsilent did some good work on our day off. • How we missed Chris Henry. • We will never think of Rivers the same way again. • Choo-Choo. • Email aside, be careful of buying th...

Who Will Be Playboy's Sexiest Sportscaster In 2008?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Feel free to email him your thoughts....

There Goes A.B., Trying To Deny It Again
We know we should enjoy those text messages that are put on the scoreboard during baseball games these days — it's fan participation, after all — but inevitably they just seem like the screechings of teenagers, using a language we cannot understand. But we dont' take them seriously. But then again: ...

Jamboroo, Week 10: Featuring Marmalard, A—hole Doctors, Depressed Bunnies, Goldfish, And Lots Of Other Stupid S—t
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Pedro's Offseason Workout Regimen
Far be it from us to tell a professional athlete how to live his/her life, but heavens, Pedro, you're turning into Schilling....

Marbury Wants You To Know That Only He Sells Cheapass Shoes
Considering he has testified under oath that he had sex with a Knicks intern in his car — and then helped get her a better job! — Stephon Marbury needs all the good PR he can get. Hence, those cheap sneakers he sells, which help inner city kids become more like Stephon Marbury, which is totally a go...

Dennis Is Here! Rejoice!
So is it mere coincidence that Dennis Miller starts his new sports show on Versus on the same day that we open our Sports Human of the Year nominations? (lowers glasses, looks thoughtfully at reader). We weren't born yesterday, babe. Sports Unfiltered with Dennis Miller kicked off on Tuesday, and if...

Don Shula Will Assign You An Asterisk And You Will Wear It
We knew there was something missing from the NFL season: An asterisk controversy. Of course. Well let's get right to it. Don Shula — who coached the 1972 Miami Dolphins to the only unbeaten season in NFL history — says that the Patriots should get an asterisk if they finish 19-0 this season....

Warriors Refuse To Come Out And Play
• Who Still Believes? A glaring absence of celebrity fans on Tuesday in Oakland, as the Warriors dropped to 0-4 with a 108-104 loss to the Cavaliers. My yellow "We Believe" T-shirt has only been worn once, and already is in danger of becoming obsolete. In the meantime, let's let Golden State of Mind...

Isiah, Knicks Manage To Stay Out Of Trouble For A Day
Ed. note: This was supposed to go up this morning, but better late than never.• Are You Going To Get In The Truck? First our Isiah Thomas quote of the day: "It's always good to win your home opener, and for us here in New York we struggled last year at the start of the season at home,'' Thomas said....

Patriots Fail to Cover Spread, Claim Hollow Victory
• Was there ever any doubt? You could tell that it was just a matter of time before Tom Brady and Randy Moss could stick a dagger through the Indianapolis defense. For three quarters Tony Dungy's Colts controlled the field, but you can't keep a good man down long, and the same can be said of Bill Be...

Peterson Breaks Rushing Record, Transubstantiates
Forget about rookie records, Adrian Peterson is going after bigger game. It's taken Minnesota's first-year wunderkind a mere eight attempts to break the NFL's record for rushing in a game. The 296 yard eruption led the Vikings to a 35-17 flattening of the San Diego Chargers and put Peterson over the...

New England Patriots Are The Saviors Of Alefgard
And there it is. The New England Patriots collected the Stones of Sunlight, the Staff of Rain, and the Token of Erdrick. Tom Brady will promptly whisk Princess Gwaelin away to a bed and breakfast somewhere south of Cantlin. Meanwhile, Bill Belichick will now reproduce a set of Erdrick weapons and ar...

Championship Team Takes 13-7 Halftime Lead Over Legendary Team
Marvin Harrison isn't playing in the game, which my keen awareness picked up on sometime in the first quarter. So the backup No. 1 wide receiver for the Colts happens to be Joseph Addai, I guess. He has 107 yards receiving on top of his usual job of 80 yards rushing. He's also filling in for three b...
