ew Page 3660 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What Will Be The Next Health-Oriented Ballpark Promotion?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Hey, If You Talk A Lot, And Loud Enough, Even The Serious Stuffy People Will Start Listening
We knew that Charles Barkley's Big! Opinions! had crossed him over from the sports world, but we had no idea it had gone this far: He's now getting the Serious Guy Treatment from The New Republic, of all places....

You Will Honor "God Bless America," Or The Yankees Will Have You Shot
We want to make this absolutely clear: We love America. We love it. We love the freedom to speak our mind, we love we are allowed to wear American flag underpants, we love that we can super size any combo meal, regardless of which sandwich we choose. We love it here....

Wild Nights In Salt Lake City
Just Call Me Juice points out what we're all thinking but are afraid to admit: These NBA playoffs have been so much more entertaining than the NCAA Tournament. (Assuming, of course, you ignore the Eastern Conference.) Last night's wild overtime thriller, a mad hatter 127-117 Jazz win over the Warrio...

Brewers Fans Are As Excited As A Tiny Puppy
For the first time in many a moon, it is kind of cool to be a Milwaukee Brewers fan. They have the best record in baseball, they're 6 1/2 games up in the National League Central (and they won again today) and they're even tossing in an occasional beanbrawl, just for good measure. And because they're...

Easy Pickings In The Eastern Conference
We mean no offense to a fan base that has to be ecstatic, but has an NBA team ever won its first six playoff games in less impressive fashion than the Cleveland Cavaliers? The Arenas-less Wizards folded fast, and, last night, the Nets looked like they really weren't up for much more basketball, than...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while attending a wake for all of your old REM cassette tapes ... • NBA: A cut above ... Suns even series with Spurs 1-all. • MLB: Beckett! Red Sox 9, Blue Jays 2. • Tennis: Claymation ... Federer advances at Rome Masters....

It's Raining (Very Fat) Men
It happens every time we attend a game at Shea Stadium; inevitably a druken fat guy will topple onto us from the row above, causing us to break certain small bones. We don't even bother to sue anymore; we're used to it. But Ellen Massey, a Manhattan lawyer, is not so magnanimous. She's had enough....

Turn Your Head, Order A Beer And Cough
The Milwaukee Brewers continue to outclass the rest of the National League Central — particularly that sullen goop currently residing in last place — but they're not resting on their laurels and ignoring their diehards. The Brewers truly care about their fans' well-being and longterm health, and to ...

Wow, We Get Another One Of These Series, Apparently
So here's something no one could have expected: A second-round playoff series between Golden State and Utah that's destined to be thrilling, amazing to watch and go the full seven games. Utah won Game 1, but, as we watched the game early this morning while shaking off our Arcade Fire hangover, we we...

Free Darko Playoff Pants Party: Jazz Vs. Warriors
The second round continues with another new matchup tonight. It's certainly one few would have anticipated....

Where The Hell Is Carl Monday?
Remember the old days, when the bus driver who drove you and your school friends to the ball game just masturbated with his hand? Now they're using mechanical devices and popping pills ... it's just like everything else in baseball; cheating is rampant. All the records are tainted....

Roger's Back In Town
What they're saying around the blogs on Roger Clemens signing with the Yankees ......

It's Important That You Remember That Roger Clemens Is Your Savior
Last week, Curt Schilling was accused of self-aggrandizing ego worship for supposedly painting blood on his sock, or whatever it was. Schilling's impassioned defense of his own heroism was both absolutely correct — the man has a right to defend himself against false claims — and completely fitting, ...

Put Your Hands Together For The Artist Currently Known As Prince
Notes on a day in baseball:...

Roger To The Rescue; Clemens To Be A Yankee Again
With much credit to you crazy commenters, Roger Clemens announced today that he's returning to the Yankees. I wasn't watching the game, I have no idea what happened ... but The Sports Frog is all over it, and I'm just going to quote the Frog's garyclark:...

Free Darko Playoff Pants Party: Cavaliers Vs. Nets
The second round continues with two more matchups today. We've already previewed Suns-Spurs tonight....

I Guess You Can't Be A Successful Quarterback Until You've Been With A Man
If this week has taught us anything, it's that gay-themed pictures of quarterbacks do not hurt their career. Above is Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford and a friend getting cozy at a secluded, romantic little spot on the infield at Talladega. Hey, when the mood strikes, the mood strikes....

We Wish We Had Relatives Like This
• Saying goodbye to Josh Hancock. • The Bermanator! • Adam Morrison, raging against the machine. • The Seventh Floor Crew is now getting paid. • Joe Thomas' aunt rules. • Why do we still pay attention to George Steinbrenner? • Yes, we have a Comment Ombudsman column. • Mike Vick ... don't you ever c...

We'd Keep Our Distance From Mavs Fans This Morning
It was not a good night to be a Dallas fan last night — it really hasn't been a good year to be a fan of any Dallas sports team — but it's really not a happy experience to be Dirk Nowitzki right now ... and it probably won't be for quite some time, writes True Hoop....