f Page 1063 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Robbie Gould, The Best Kicker In Bears History, Was At Their Playoff Loss
Bears fans might be having a rough Monday after Cody Parkey’s double-doink kept them from advancing in the playoffs, but this may provide some solace: The best kicker in the history of their franchise was in the stands watching....
Franck Ribéry Defends Right To Eat Salt Bae's Garbage, Tells His Haters' Grandmothers And Mothers To Get Fucked
No sane person would flush gold down a toilet, nor would one consume gold-encrusted meat, but Bayern Munich forward Franck Ribéry essentially did both when he filmed himself at a Dubai restaurant preparing to put a steak flecked with the precious metal into what he later demonstrated to be his potty...
Steve Smith, Who Showboated While Losing, Chides Deshaun Watson For Showboating While Losing
Steve Smith has made his transition from cantankerous NFL player to cantankerous NFL pundit, and over the weekend he treated Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson the way he used to treat opposing defensive backs....
So That's It For Joe Flacco In Baltimore
Lamar Jackson’s Ravens saw their season end on Sunday with a 23-17 Wild Card home loss to the Chargers, in a game that was very much a learning experience for Jackson. Though a pair of touchdowns in the fourth quarter made the contest competitive, for the majority of the day Baltimore’s rookie quart...
Let's All Gawk At This Impossible Lionel Messi Pass
Every day, we wake up to face the cruel realities of a world driven to ruin by overconsumption and powerful men’s self-absorbed disregard for the rest of us. We all find ways to overcome the internal crises that come with being alive in 2019, finding solace in moments that make us believe that there...
The Spanish Call Of Cody Parkey's Double-Doink Is Very, Very Good
Rickie Ricardo is the Spanish radio play-by-play guy for the Eagles (and, weirdly, the Yankees). He was in fine form Sunday evening, as Philly survived and advanced on a missed field goal by Cody Parkey. “I almost had a heart attack,” Ricardo tweeted of Parkey’s kick that banged off the upright, the...
Cody Parkey's Double-Doink Was Tipped
This is what the aftermath sounded like to Cody Parkey:...
Cody Parkey Double-Doinked And Kept The Nick Foles Magic Alive<em></em>
With ten seconds left in the game against Philadelphia, Bears kicker Cody Parkey somehow hit the goalpost and the crossbar on a 43-yard field goal attempt that would have eliminated the Eagles from the playoffs. The double-doinked kick was not good, and big-dicked god-king Nick Foles survived anothe...
Timberwolves Get The Inevitable Done Early, Fire Tom Thibodeau
The Minnesota Timberwolves have fired head coach and president of basketball operations Tom Thibodeau, according to the Athletic’s Shams Charania and Jon Krawczynski. Assistant coach Ryan Saunders will serve as the team’s interim head coach for the time being....
Bears Complete 30-Yard Pass For No Gain As Officials Recover Fumble
The Eagles-Bears game got weird right before halftime when Eagles cornerback Cre’Von Leblanc wrested the ball from Bears receiver Anthony Miller in an impressive display of strength. The play was initially ruled an incompletion, but the inhuman standard of slow motion showed that Miller caught the b...
Refs Cost Chargers And Ravens Touchdowns On Consecutive Plays
A bizarre sequence came to the cosmically correct ending in the Chargers-Ravens game. Refs and replay officials arguably blew at least four separate calls at the 1-yard-line before the Chargers finally punched it in for a 20-3 lead....
Philip Rivers To Injured Matthew Judon: "That's What You Get!"
Philip Rivers has not taken too kindly to the type of hits he’s been on the receiving end of against the Baltimore Ravens’ defense. He vented his frustration to Matthew Judon near the end of the first half when the linebacker got hurt after getting another post-throw hit in on Rivers. After the whis...
The Seahawks Forgot They Had Russell Wilson Until It Was Too Late<em></em>
After an offseason roster purge, the Seahawks put together a playoff push even though they ran the ball more than they threw it—an unconventional approach in today’s NFL. Russell Wilson thrived nonetheless, thanks to his mastery of the deep ball and his ability to throw with unreal accuracy into tig...
The Ravens Fumbled Three Times In Their First Eight Offensive Plays
The Ravens did not have the best start to their postseason, at least on offense....
The Colts' Rookies Blocked The Texans' Stars Straight Into Hell
Jadeveon Clowney is one of the most talented athletes in all of American sports. Here’s Colts rookie guard Quenton Nelson stopping him cold and then backing him up two full yards before tossing him to the ground: ...
What The Hell Is Jim Irsay Saying Here?
Here’s my best attempt at transcribing the speech that maniacal Colts owner Jim Irsay gave after his team’s wild-card win over the Texans:...
The Seahawks Will Have To Finish Out A Playoff Game Without A Kicker
Seahawks kicker Seabastian Janikowski injured his leg on a missed 57-yard field goal attempt at the end of the first half of tonight’s defensive struggle against the Cowboys, and Seattle has apparently decided that they don’t trust star punter Michael Dickson to attempt even extra points....
Cowboys WR Allen Hurns Leaves Game On Stretcher After Gruesome Leg Injury
In the first quarter of tonight’s playoff game, Cowboys receiver Allen Hurns was tackled by Seahawks safety Bradley McDougald. As Hurns was fighting to stay upright, McDougald fell onto Hurns’s left leg and broke it....
The Houston Texans Are Pure Frauds, No Matter Who's Playing Quarterback
Two interminable streaks were on the line today in Houston: the Texans’ unbroken history of playoff humiliations, and Deshaun Watson not having lost a game by more than one score since high school. The fragrance of ass that exudes from the Texans and Bill O’Brien was more powerful by far, as the Col...
ESPN Doesn't Appear To Know What Happened During The Civil War
In the latest example of why things from the internet should stay on the internet, the Monday Night Football crew decided to talk about their latest online discovery: the Capt. Andrew Luck twitter account. For those unfamiliar, the parody account features an avatar of Luck’s face over a Civil War ge...