f Page 1094 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joel Embiid Announces Plans To Expand His Real Estate Empire By Building Additional Housing Units In Andre Drummond's Cranium
Basketball star and no-rent housing innovator Joel Embiid had a monster game against the Pistons yesterday. And in his 39-point performance—32 of them coming in a scorching first half—Embiid achieved his twin goals of clowning on and growing his real estate investments with his favorite rival/unwitt...

MMA Fighter Knocks Out Opponent With Vicious Spinning Elbow
If you weren’t watching the EFC 75 event that took place in Cape Town, South Africa, you missed out on a potential knockout of the year candidate. Just 70 seconds into the first round of the fight, Mzwandile “Shakebone” Hlongwa knocked the lights out of his opponent Torbjorn Madsen with a spinning e...

When Will Grier's On Fire, Your Defense Should Be Terrified
It’s never the wisest decision to put a quarterback who was once a Heisman favorite this season in position to beat you with his arm. But that’s exactly where the Longhorns placed Mountaineer QB Will Grier on Saturday, and they paid the price in excruciating fashion....

Jets And Dolphins Will Play On The Same Mud Pit Duke And Miami Mucked About In Yesterday
A combination of heavy rain and dozens of large, cleated football players stomping around on it for a couple hours meant yesterday’s Duke-Miami game, played for some reason in the Dolphins’ stadium, took place on top of a surface that looked more like a swamp than a football field. Which is bad news...

Cardinals Release Sam Bradford Into The Wild To Search For His Next Team To Grift
The Arizona Cardinals became the latest team to realize Sam Bradford had no purpose being on their roster and cut the nine-year veteran on Saturday, according to ESPN’s Adam Schefter. ...

Clemson Scores Fat Guy Touchdown For Second Consecutive Week
Louisville’s football program is in utter disarray as their scumbag head coach continues to torpedo the team into nationally-televised embarrassments like today’s 77-16 loss to Clemson. But none of that matters because CLEMSON SCORED ANOTHER FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN, BABY!...

ESPN Apologizes To SEC Commissioner For James Carville Spouting Alabama Conspiracy Theories
ESPN issued an on-air apology to SEC commissioner Greg Sankey for comments that political analyst James Carville made during his appearance on College Gameday about the conference being inherently biased towards No. 1 Alabama....

Nebraska Kickoff Attempt Goes Hilariously Awry
Nebraska got off to a surprise start against No. 8 Ohio State on Saturday, striking first off a 12-play drive of 75 yards to take an early 7-0 lead. The Cornhuskers followed this up by immediately giving all of their momentum back to the Buckeyes with this failed attempt at a kickoff....

The Winter Of Mega-Stars Unexpectedly But Heart-Warmingly Staying With Their Original Teams Begins With Clayton Kershaw Re-Signing With The Dodgers
Clayton Kershaw’s velocity may be trending in the wrong direction, but he’s still a damn ace, and as such he was considered one of the huge targets in what many have expected to be a landscape-altering winter of baseball mega-stars chasing the free-agency big bucks to new towns and new teams. Not so...

It's Come To This For The Buffalo Bills
This quarterback update on the Bills is sadder and more revealing than it’s meant to be:...

Former Marlin Justin Wayne Sentenced To 4 Years In Prison For Con Involving Drug Addicts' Urine
Justin Wayne was a bust. The fifth overall pick in the 2000 MLB draft, Wayne appeared in just 26 games over three seasons with the Florida Marlins, putting up an ERA over 6 (but earning a World Series ring along the way). Wayne’s post-baseball career was more successful, and more lucrative, at least...

Will Someone Please Befriend These Sad, Lonely People So The Rest Of Us Don't Have To Deal With Them?
Donald Trump is horrible and disgusting, and the menagerie of melting, gelatinous creatures surrounding him are also horrible and disgusting, but they’re not really new. The behavior they’ve exhibited over the last three years came into focus, in Facebook and before long silences at family dinners, ...

Dead Letters: "What Kinda Reporter Uses The Word Ass"
Subject: (no subject)...

On Subletting Headspace At No Cost
The language that Joel Embiid uses can be taken as an ice core sample of the language the internet is using at any given time. The Sixers center is one of the NBA’s savviest disciples of the Do-It-For-The-‘Gram ethos, a skilled user of meme and timely dialect, always hitting the right notes to Maxi...

Roger Federer Put This Serve Directly Into The Garbage Can
Roger Federer has cut an unusual path into the fourth round at Paris: he played just two sets of tennis to get there. He had a first-round bye, then second-round opponent Milos Raonic withdrew from the tournament, and then he defeated the sleepy pirate Fabio Fognini, 6-4, 6-3. So all of a sudden, a ...

Jon Gruden, After Humiliating Primetime Loss: People "Want To Be A Part Of This"
The Raiders suffered their most humiliating loss of the season Thursday night, a dismal 34–3 pounding to a one-win 49ers team that came into the game with a bottom-ten scoring offense, a bottom-ten scoring defense, and a rookie quarterback making his first career start. The Raiders opened up with a ...

Maryland Football Players Dispute Punter's Description Of Practice Fight
Maryland backup punter Matthew Barber was involved in a physical altercation with at least one teammate after Tuesday’s team practice, and he later told the Baltimore Sun that he was attacked because other players thought that he had been a whistleblower during the investigation into the football pr...

Nick Mullens Kicked Ass And Then Cried And It Was Awesome
Perhaps it was giving too much credit to a pathetic Oakland Raiders squad to have thought that 49ers quarterback Nick Mullens, who started last night’s game despite never having taken a snap in regular-season NFL action, was going to have a hard time. But even though it came against a team as lifele...

Blazers Fans Play Another Nightmarishly Incompetent Game Of Tic-Tac-Toe
It happened again! Nine months after two Trail Blazers fans played an infuriatingly bad game of tic-tac-toe between quarters, that game has a challenger for the title....
![Raheem Mostert Leaves Game With Gut-Churning Arm Injury [Warning: Graphic]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/hlcbr2gmmmbfxw2c91yo.jpg)
Raheem Mostert Leaves Game With Gut-Churning Arm Injury [Warning: Graphic]
Raheem Mostert left Thursday night’s totally awful and pointless contest between the 49ers and Raiders in the third quarter, after he was tripped on an inside run, tried to brace his fall, and had his right forearm bend in several wrong directions. This video is extremely unpleasant:...