f Page 1152 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fame And Fantasy In The Heavyweight Battle Of The Atlantic
A note before starting: Much of this was written before the Saturday, Sept. 22nd heavyweight title fight between Anthony Joshua and Alexander Povetkin held at Wembley Stadium in London, hence the two parts to the piece—before Wembley, and then upon arrival and afterwards. There is a lot of specula...
Patrick Mahomes At All Times Sounds Like He Just Ate A Big Bowl Of Chili
Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes has spent the first four weeks of the NFL season playing consciousness-expanding football—scrambling, improvisational, hyper-charismatic stuff. Four games make for a small sample, but if it is at all representative of the underlying talent, Mahomes will be doing bi...
Let's All Get Irrationally Hyped For Elias Pettersson And The Canucks
The Canucks roasted the Flames on opening night, scoring the first three goals in a fairly easy 5-2 victory. Neither of these mostly irrelevant Canadian teams—the Canucks in particular, with their startling lack of experienced depth players—should do much to challenge the top squads in the West. But...
This Is Supremely Fucked Up, Don't Do This
Here we have a Yankees fan, excited because the baseball team he roots for is winning, throwing the majority of his beer onto another person for the apparently sole reason that the other person is a fan of the other baseball team. Really fucked up!...
Aaron Rodgers Is Taking Shots At Mike McCarthy Again
That thing is happening again, where everyone is wondering if there’s some serious internal discord plaguing the Green Bay Packers. Eyebrows were raised when after Green Bay’s 22-0 victory over Buffalo, a game in which the Packers did not play as well as the score indicates, quarterback Aaron Rodger...
We're One Game Into The Season And Brad Marchand Is Already Being A Prick
The defending champion Capitals rained righteous hellfire on the Boston Bruins Wednesday night, crushing them 7-0 in front of a celebratory crowd in their season opener. The Bruins are a bunch of ornery bastards when they’re up 7-0, but when Caps center Lars Eller picked up the last of his team’s go...
Beefy Baseball Boy Luke Voit Is The Yankees' Not-So-Secret Weapon
Luke Voit is a meaty midwestern lad who can’t or won’t button up his jersey all the way and whose grandmother still sends him $25 for every home run he hits, and there have been a lot of $25 checks from Nana in the last couple of months....
Athletics' Feel-Good Season Smashed Up And Ruined By Vile Yankees
The Athletics had a fascinating regular season, and were a ton of fun to follow, and it would’ve been neat to watch a genuine underdog that got to this point in such a weird and surprising way go up against the powerhouse Red Sox in the ALDS. Alas, the dream died Wednesday when the Yankees smashed u...
Nick Saban Is Very Angry At Alabama Fans For Not Attending Guaranteed Win Against Garbage Opponent
Alabama beat the shit out of the Ragin’ Cajuns of Louisiana-Lafayette on Saturday. By the end of the first quarter the Crimson Tide had a 28-point lead; by the end of the half it was 49. Louisiana scored a couple of touchdowns in the fourth quarter, but by that time they were already down 56 points....
Another Empty Congressional Hearing About Sexual Abuse In Sports Came And Went
With many of the cameras and reporters gone, the fourth Senate hearing about sexual abuse in Olympic sports took on a different tone. There was no yelling. There was no demanding of answers. CEOs of the organizations that oversee Olympic sports had a few chuckles. The grandstanding was gone, just th...
Georgia Dismisses Student From Baseball Team For Allegedly Shouting Racist Slurs At Quarterback Justin Fields
The Georgia Bulldogs baseball team has reportedly dismissed first baseman Adam Sasser over racial slurs he allegedly shouted from the stands at Georgia quarterback Justin Fields during Saturday’s home win over Tennessee....
Brooks Koepka Feels Really Bad About His Shot That Exploded A Woman's Eyeball
Every pro golfer hits a bad ball now and again, and some pro golfers hit a bad ball that catches someone in the gallery, but only one pro golfer hit a bad ball that exploded someone’s eyeball. That pro golfer feels guilty....
Nobody Was Prepared For The Horrors Modern Warfare Brought To Civilians
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....
Canucks Ban Video Games On Road Trips, Because <i>Fortnite</i> Is Well On Its Way To Ruining The NHL
The Vancouver Canucks are a young team, so like seemingly all young men, their players are obsessed with Fortnite. They love it. Can’t get enough of it. Flossing and shit when they score goals. (So: rarely.) Locking themselves in their hotel rooms and gaming until the sun comes up, instead of the ti...
Are The NHL's Mini-Dynasties Dead?
Until the Capitals broke through to win their first Cup, the Penguins, Blackhawks, and Kings dominated the NHL as the most effective triumvirate since Roman times. Instead of ending with stabbings and civil war, the modern NHL version collapsed for more mundane reasons involving salary caps and agin...
The Time Aretha Franklin Called Dave McKenna A Liar
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share....
Kyle Freeland Is A New Kind Of Rockies Pitcher
By the time last night’s interminable NL wild card game was over, your memories of the contributions made by Rockies starting pitcher Kyle Freeland, a second-year player throwing on three days rest, may have understandably faded. A quick refresher: 6.2 innings, four hits, one walk, six strikeouts, a...
Manhunt Is On For Aston Villa Fan Who Chucked A Cabbage At The Team's Manager
Yesterday’s Aston Villa-Preston match was a thriller that ultimately ended in tragedy for the Villans. Though it must have hurt to watch the ball bulge the back of their net three times in the disappointing 3-3 draw, the spheroid that arguably caused Villa the deepest psychic injury was the head of ...
The A's Are Full-On Bullpenning, So Let's Get Weird
The Athletics’ full plan for tonight’s AL wild card game was revealed not when Bob Melvin named reliever Liam Hendriks the starter—though Hendriks prefers the term “opener”—but when Mike Fiers, one of two true starters, was left off the roster for this game. That leaves only Edwin Jackson, and he’s ...
Brave Rock Men Thwart Pesky Bear Children In NL Wild Card Slog
Some might remember Tuesday’s NL Wild Card game as classic, cagey postseason baseball. Others may describe it as a painfully slow and annoyingly long slog that lost all of its charm the very moment the ninth inning ended without one team ahead of the other. The luckiest among us will remember it as ...