f Page 1219 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Report: Cops Arrested Bloody, Naked Buffalo Bills Receiver Zay Jones For Vandalism
Buffalo Bills wide receiver Isaiah “Zay” Jones has been arrested on a charge of felony vandalism after breaking glass doors and windows at an apartment building in Los Angeles, according to police. It appears to get a lot weirder from there....


The Jets Paid An Awful Lot To Draft A Quarterback, But They Didn't Really Have A Choice
That the Colts would trade out of the No. 3 spot in the NFL draft has a fairly straightforward explanation: Indianapolis is pretty confident Andrew Luck’s shoulder will be fine (at some point), and the return the Colts got from the Jets—the No. 6 pick and two second-round selections this year, plus ...

This Is One Hellish, Captivating Badminton Rally
Prepare yourself for badminton back and forth, forever....

Chilean Soccer Player Wins Penalty With Staggeringly Awful Dive
Meet Jean Meneses, a midfielder for Chilean first division team, Universidad de Concepción. I’m sure he’s scored some great goals and hit some beautiful passes during his career, but it will be hard to top this truly exceptional dive of his from this weekend’s match against Colo-Colo as his career-d...

Are Slow Jams Dead?<em></em>
Before we dive into the Funbag, a quick programming note: I’m on vacation next week. So there won’t be a Funbag next Tuesday. I’m sure you’ll be able to deal....

Please Enjoy Vince Carter's Rude Blake Griffin Impression
In a game between two dead-end teams waiting for the draft, the Pistons stuck around for two-and-a-half quarters before the Kings gutted it out and pulled off the loss. Blake Griffin came up big for the Pistons, but the night belonged to Vince Carter, who moved up to 22nd on the NBA’s all-time scori...

Pro Cyclist Booted From Race For Using His Bike As A Weapon
Cycling season has well and truly started up and that means that cycling fighting season has also begun. Zhiwen Chen of Giant Cycling was kicked out of the Tour de Langkawi—this is perhaps the most egregious usage of the superfluous “de” to remind people that this is the same sport as the Tour de Fr...

Confederate Army No Longer The Only Thing Ole Miss Glorifies After Coach Vows To Respect American Flag And National Anthem
Kermit Davis, the new head coach of a college basketball team with a mascot named after confederate secessionists who wanted to destroy the union of American states, has vowed his team will respect the flag and the national anthem of the United States of America....

How Not To Write About Movies
Black Panther is the biggest hit of 2018 and stands poised to become one of the five highest grossing movies in the history of this continent. It’s a rare movie that serves as both an artistic and financial success and has absolutely destroyed any preconceived boardroom notions about a movie with a ...

What Color Are Tennis Balls?
This has been a heated topic of debate for many years, most recently in The Atlantic and on the Hello Internet podcast: Are tennis balls green or yellow?...

Hockey Skate Mangles Ear
Another hockey guy upended, another close call for a fellow player’s major arteries. Kings defenseman Derek Forbort had his ear butterflied in Monday’s 4-3 win after Wild forward Zach Parise’s skate caught him on the side of the head. Forbort’s lucky it wasn’t his neck....

Joe Thomas Roasted Everyone During His Retirement Press Conference
Former Browns tackle Joe Thomas, who rules, is finally free of the Sadness Factory after 11 seasons. Yesterday, he held a press conference to make his retirement official, and spent a portion of it playfully roasting various characters from the Browns’ depressing universe....

Report: Jonathan Martin Charged With Making Criminal Threats, Possessing Loaded Firearm After Instagram Post
Three weeks after former NFL offensive lineman Jonathan Martin used Instagram to share a photograph of a gun and ammunition with a ominous message, he has been charged by the Los Angeles County District Attorney with four counts of making criminal threats and one count of possessing a loaded firearm...

"Hey Tony Precum": All The Ways Columbus Crew Fans Expressed Their Rage Towards Owner Anthony Precourt<em></em>
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Across the large swath of the parking lot of Mapfre Stadium before the first Columbus Crew home game of the season on March 10, I could see it clearly: Fans duct-taped owner Anthony Precourt to the side of a red four-door pickup truck....

Mo Farah, Who Is Definitely Definitely Not A Doper, Reportedly Sued A Writer For Referencing Doping Rumors
World-beating British runner Mo Farah has spent the gold-medal winning portion of his career denying that he took performance-enhancing drugs in more than the allowed amounts or in unallowed ways. He’s had to issue those denials in part because of his association with the legendarily shady coach Alb...

Bob Huggins Met Dan D'Antoni In A Battle For The Future Of Men's Fashion
West Virginia Governor Jim Justice appeared at Sunday night’s NCAA Tournament game between West Virginia and Marshall wearing a suit that was both deeply and intentionally unfortunate. Justice is a Marshall University graduate—his wife and daughter are, as well—and, if you’re just joining us, a West...

Nevada Storms Back From 22-Point Deficit To Upset Cincinnati And Move On To Sweet 16
Just two days after Nevada’s Caleb Martin lost his damn mind in overtime to beat Texas, teammate Josh Hall floated a ball over the head of Cincinnati’s Kyle Washington to give the Wolf Pack their first and only lead of the game and send them on to the Sweet 16....

Rory McIlroy Says Booze Is Making Golf Fans Too Dang Rowdy
Rory McIlroy is sitting third headed into the final round of this weekend’s Arnold Palmer Invitational in sunny Orlando. During his third-round 67 on Saturday, McIlroy was irritated once again by rowdy fan behavior, and he’s got an idea for a solution, per ESPN:...
![100-Year-Old Superhuman Orville Rogers Sets New World Record In Race Of Scootin' Grandpas [CORRECTED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/avlhygeyirwypgkjcbmq.gif)
100-Year-Old Superhuman Orville Rogers Sets New World Record In Race Of Scootin' Grandpas [CORRECTED]
Look at this hightailin’ geezer! CORRECTION: While Orville is, in fact, a hightailin’ geezer, and certainly the man in green is also a hightailin’ geezer—perhaps the hightailin’-est geezer in the history of geezers—it turns out Orville is in white, in lane 2. It’s an impressive run, and he did indee...