f Page 1787 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Browns Send Johnny Manziel Back To The Bench, For Some Reason
The Browns coaches must fucking despise Johnny Manziel. ...

Report: Kam Chancellor's Coming To Save The Seahawks
The Seattle Seahawks are 0-2, and a big reason why has been the absence of their all-world safety, Kam Chancellor, who has been holding out for a better contract. Well, according to ESPN’s Adam Schefter (by way of Stephen A. Smith), Chancellor has given up on his holdout and is headed back to Seattl...

The NCAA Has No Idea What To Do About Daily Fantasy
At their annual meeting earlier this week, the hot topic among D1 athletic directors was the rise of daily fantasy sports, and what—if anything—the NCAA can or should do about it. The early returns from the meeting indicate that the NCAA wants daily fantasy to be considered gambling, and thus ban pl...

Jose Bautista Has A Goddamn Cannon Attached To His Shoulder
Jose Bautista spent a month earlier this season playing DH because his shoulder hurt so badly that he couldn’t throw. After tonight, it’s safe to say Bautista is fully recovered....

Raiders Give Middle Finger To The NFL, Refuse To Put Gold Marks On Field
As part of the celebrations for the 50th Super Bowl later this season, every NFL field has the ‘50’ painted gold, like the above photo from the Steelers’ stadium. Every NFL team, that is, except for the Raiders, who played on a field absent of gold in Weeks 1 and 2. ...

Barry Zito And Tim Hudson Will Face Off On Saturday
Congratulations A’s and Giants fans, you did it! You successfully wished something cool into existence!...

Classic Man: "Keeping An Axe Blade Sharp Requires Careful Maintenance"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week, we discussed bear alarms; today, we’re talking about sharpening an axe....

Robert Lewandowski Loses His Motherfucking Mind, Scores 5 Times In 9 Minutes
Robert Lewandowski came on for Bayern Munich at halftime in a match they were losing 1-0 to Wolfsburg. Five minutes and 40 seconds into his appearance, his first goal hit the back of the net. Almost exactly nine minutes later, his fifth goal did the same. This man is on fire....

Jesus Christ, Manuel Neuer, What Are You Doing?
Manuel Neuer had to be so tight standing there at midfield watching that shot, praying it wouldn’t sail into the empty net he had just ran a good 50 yards away from in a crazed and failed attempt to clear the ball. That it didn’t go in goes to show how astounding Florenzi’s wondergoal last week was....

Auburn Fan Tammy Goes Back On The Finebaum Show, Gets Mad As Hell
Auburn got stomped by LSU last weekend, which means it was time for notorious Auburn superfan Tammy to call into Paul Finebaum’s show and let off a little steam. ...

Joe Maddon Says AC/DC Screwed Up Wrigley Field
AC/DC held a concert at Wrigley Field on Sept. 15, and they apparently shredded the whole field with their smoking hot riffs. At least that’s what Cubs manager Joe Maddon thinks....

How To Buy A Tie And Wear It Well
The tie gets a bad rep. It’s associated with board rooms and formality and the type of office job that requires navigating a dull grey labyrinth of cubicles. There’s a reason that the phrase “loosening one’s tie” exists, and why it’s shorthand for relaxing and having a good time. Ties are symbolic o...

Try Not To Laugh At Jerry Jones's Evaluation Of Brandon Weeden
The Cowboys are in as bad a shape as any 2-0 team can be. Tony Romo will miss most of the season with a broken clavicle, and Dez Bryant’s busted foot will keep him on the shelf for God knows how long. Backup quarterback Brandon Weeden will lead the team against Atlanta next week, a fact Jerry Jones ...

Ragnar Is Holding Out For $20,000 A Game
Fans noticed a distinct lack of of Ragnar, the biker viking mascot, at Minnesota’s first home game this weekend. That led the Vikings to issue a statement yesterday confirming that Ragnar, absent for the first time since 1993, isn’t there because the team can’t agree with him on how much loot and pl...

Do Not Underestimate Will Ferrell's 40 Speed
After Saturday’s Stanford-USC football game, one lucky guy got to race Will Ferrell on the field. The result was a photo finish....

Cricket Fight!
What we have here is a scuffle that broke out during a cricket match between the Cleveland County Cricket Club and the Willow Cuts in Bermuda. Keep your eye on the player in blue, who approaches the Willow Cuts batsman from behind. His name is Jason Anderson, and he’s a real shit....

The Jets Defense Is Ferocious
One third-quarter sequence perfectly exemplified the Jets’ 20-7 victory over the Colts Monday night: their defense is damn good, but they’re getting a bit of luck too. ...
