f Page 1793 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Will Not Win Money Playing Daily Fantasy
“[T]he top 100 ranked players enter 330 winning lineups per day, and the top 10 players combine to win an average of 873 times daily. The remaining field of approximately 20,000 players tracked by Rotogrinders wins just 13 times per day, on average.” [Bloomberg]...
Jim Tomsula Should Be Your Favorite Coach
We made a lot of jokes at Jim Tomsula’s expense after the 49ers tabbed him as their new head coach, because he exudes an appearance that screams “cautionary tale,” (or perhaps “hardware salesman”) but here’s the truth: the man’s undefeated. With his win as an interim coach in 2010, and last night’s ...
Australian Sportswriter Liveblogs 49ers Game, Discovers Just How Dumb Football Can Be
People in Australia are understandably excited about Jarryd Hayne, a former Australian rugby star who earned himself a roster spot on the San Francisco 49ers. Given that last night was his NFL debut, the Guardian had Australian sportswriter Matt Cleary liveblog the game for the folks in Hayne’s home...
How To Fix Your TV If You Couldn't See The Timeouts On <i>Monday Night Football</i>
A lot of people complained last night that ESPN’s new, flashy graphics system for Monday Night Football no longer showed how many timeouts each team had remaining. That’s not true! As you can see above, the timeouts are clearly displayed beneath each team’s logo. If you couldn’t see those, then your...
Sick Of All Those Daily Fantasy Games Ads? This Is For You.
It’s no secret the ubiquitous TV ads for gambling, er, “daily fantasy” sites like DraftKings and FanDuel have taken over football’s bathroom breaks this season in ways boner pill manufacturers could only dream of. Everyone’s sick of hearing about this garbage, so we made something that, by compariso...
Adrian Peterson's Learning Curve Is Steep
One game isn’t nearly enough to judge how well Adrian Peterson can pick up where he left off after being out of football for a full calendar year. There were too many variables that went into his quiet night in Santa Clara to make any sweeping pronouncements on whether he’ll recapture his form. But ...
Someone Finally Completed <i>American Ninja Warrior</i>'s Final Course
American Ninja Warrior, a sort of modern and souped-up version of American Gladiators, has been on TV for seven seasons without anyone ever making it to Stage 4 of Mt. Midoriyama—let alone completing it. Until tonight....
Jackass Fights With Adrian Gonzalez For Foul Ball
So here’s some dickhead wearing a Red Sox cap fighting with Dodgers first baseman Adrian Gonzalez for a foul ball. Gonzalez won, but he was obviously pretty pissed off. And why shouldn’t he be? The Dodgers aren’t even playing the Red Sox!...
The Many Talents Of Jim Tomsula
Chris Berman: While he was a coaching intern, Tomsula earned money on the side as a battery separator....
How Would You Describe This Eagles Play Call?
But seriously. In our tips email I see “cocksucking monkey,” “designed handjob,” and “a monkey jerking a giraffe.” How would you describe it? ...
U.S. Attorney General Expects More FIFA Arrests, Maybe Even Sepp Blatter's
U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch said Monday that she anticipated “pursuing additional charges against individuals and entities” in the government’s ongoing probe into corruption within FIFA and soccer more generally. ...
Pole Vault For Dummies
In a mall, on the street, with a train, up twenty feet... Sam I am. The recent rash of wacky vault venues inspired Seuss-ism, and more successfully, a class in how to catapult one’s* body over an 18-foot high bar....
Gronk Goes Steady
Perpetual air-humping machine Rob Gronkowski busted out for three touchdowns in his first game of the season, but that’s old news. There’s a much more important development: The Patriots tight end is legitimately dating someone....
Marcus Mariota Looked Fantastic
The second-worst team in football last season was blessed to open their campaign against the worst team in football. Both of them had shiny new quarterbacks, and are a year removed from flimsy, bottom-three defenses. That’s where the similarities stopped. Titans quarterback Marcus Mariota stomped on...
Florida Coach Jim McElwain Apologizes For Blowing Up At A Player
Jim McElwain says he regrets tearing into junior RB Kelvin Taylor on the sideline after Taylor drew a penalty for a “throat slash” touchdown celebration gesture late in Florida’s 31-24 win over East Carolina on Saturday, saying he’s already heard from his 94-year-old mother that it wasn’t right....
I Want To Kiss This Hockey Player's Performance Of "Free Fallin'" On The Mouth
My knowledge of Ryan Hollweg’s career as a hockey player admittedly ends at his Wikipedia page. But because of this video, he’s now one of my all-time favorite athletes....
The Giants' Collapse Was Even Dumber Than It Looked (And It Already Looked Pretty Dumb)
It was one thing when it appeared that the Giants’ merely brainfarted 40 extra seconds to the Cowboys for a game-winning drive that needed 33 of them. Now as players discuss the calls in the huddle and from the sideline, it’s so, so much worse: the Giants a) did not realize how many timeouts the Cow...
Man At White Sox Game Reacts Appropriately To The Wave
A reader says he took this video at Saturday’s White Sox game. The wave sucks. Consider this a prompt to argue about the wave....
Kam Chancellor's Holdout Couldn't Be Going Any Better
Kam Chancellor is still negotiating with the Seahawks for a new contract, and as his holdout bled into Week 1 of the regular season, undrafted sophomore Dion Bailey took his place at strong safety Sunday against the Rams. It was clear that Chancellor’s starting job will be waiting for him when he co...
Pacman Jones Won't Be Suspended For Slamming Amari Cooper's Head Into His Own Helmet
Kind of surprisingly, multiple reports state that Bengals corner Adam “Pacman” Jones will be fined but not suspended for ripping off Raiders WR Amari Cooper’s helmet and bashing the back of his head against it....