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![Report: Marshawn Lynch, Seahawks Agree To One-Year Deal [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/xm2ls0gb323wkb5pizmd.jpg)
Report: Marshawn Lynch, Seahawks Agree To One-Year Deal [UPDATE]
Per Adam Schefter, the Seahawks and Marshawn Lynch have agreed to a new deal. John Clayton added the contract details: one season for $11 million. (Update below.)...

Bummed-Out Rory McIlroy Tosses Club Right Into The Damn Lake
During his round at the WGC-Cadillac Championship today, Rory McIlroy yanked his second shot on the par-5 eighth hole into the water. Then he did that thing that a lot of us who golf would probably do if we were extremely rich and could afford to buy new clubs all the time....

Five Boozy Hot-Drink Recipes To Enjoy During This Neverending Winter
It's snowing again. That's true of the place where I live, and probably of the place where you live, because apparently, Mother Nature and Father Time have colluded to ensure that this winter will never end, ever. As if all this snow weren't enough, we'll spend the next seven or so years hearing...

Walmart: We Don't Have Any Dez Bryant Parking Lot Video
Well, it's on the record: Walmart says it has no video of Dez Bryant from July 11, 2011, the day police were called to investigate a disturbance in a Lancaster store's parking lot....

Jets Trade For Brandon Marshall
The Bears have agreed to send WR Brandon Marshall to the Jets, per ESPN's Adam Schefter. The haul hasn't been reported yet (Update: a fifth rounder), but it shouldn't be huge: Chicago was desperate to move Marshall before his $7.5 million guarantee kicked in next week....

Let's All Be More Like This Large Fellow Who Slapped Joakim Noah's Ass
You might be tempted to call E'Twaun Moore's game-winning three the highlight of last night's contest between the Thunder and Bulls, but I submit that the night's truly transcendent moment occurred on the ensuing possession, when a portly Bulls fan lost all notion of etiquette and got himself a big ...

The Steelers Really, Really Hope Troy Polamalu Retires
The NFL is vicious. There's no player so respected or so beloved that he won't be forced out the door when his abilities no longer justify his cap hit. It happens to everyone, eventually. It's happening to Troy Polamalu....

Aldon Smith Has Given Up Nearly All Of His Guaranteed Money
San Francisco 49ers linebacker Aldon Smith has agreed to restructure his contract with the team so that most of the $9.75 million he was set to earn this season will no longer be guaranteed....

Vin Diesel's Gloriously Absurd <i>XXX </i>Is Mountain Dew For The Soul
XXX, the fantastically stupid Vin Diesel vehicle from 2002, starts with a shaky premise: James Bond is done. The world has changed, and he can't survive. You can understand how someone might've arrived at that conclusion. The Pierce Brosnan era was nearing its bloated end, and Die Another Day, with ...

The Tears Of A Clown
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Patriots, Rays, SF Giants Petition Supreme Court To Back Gay Marriage
Three sport teams are among the 379 large companies to join an amicus brief urging the Supreme Court to strike down state bans on same-sex marriage, claiming the laws negatively affect their ability to do business....

David Schlemko Scores Silky Smooth Shootout Goal
The Bruins and Flames had to go to the eighth round of the shootout to find a winner, but what a winner it was. Defenseman David Schlemko—who the Flames just claimed on waivers—pulled a nice little do-si-do that completely fooled Tuukka Rask, and secured both points for the Flames. Just look at that...


New Fake Indian Joins Old Fake Indian In NY High School's R-Word Fight
The "Redskins" name controversy has played out all over America for years now, in precincts high and low. It's now turned up, though, in the last place you'd expect—Lancaster, N.Y. Some of the same spurious Indians defending the NFL team's name jumped in the small-town fray this week....

Former NHL Coach Goes Nuts On Counterpart During Game
Marc Crawford spent 15 years coaching in the NHL, but now he finds himself manning the bench for the ZSC Lions of the National League A in Switzerland. During a recent playoff game against EHC Biel, he decided to go full Angry Canadian on opposing coach Kevin Schläpfer....

Maurice Jones-Drew Is Retiring
Running back Maurice Jones-Drew just announced his retirement from the NFL, which is oddly affecting, because he was tiny and strong and great and so much fun to watch....

Fake Larry Donnell Gets On MSNBC, Says "Fuck Her Right In The Pussy"
Giants tight end Larry Donnell was on the plane that crashed into a fence in New York today. The guy who called into Andrea Mitchell's MSNBC show was not. Guess how the interview ended....

Alfredo Simon Drives An Actual Hot Wheels Car
From Detroit Tigers beat writer Chris Iott comes this photo of pitcher Alfredo Simon's car. If I were still 11, I would swear this is one of the five coolest things I've ever seen in my life....

The Best Beer Is From Oklahoma (Naturally)
On Friday night, I had the distinctly fat and drunk pleasure of attending Drink Craft Beer's Boston Cheese and Beer Fest. The pleasure was provided by the obvious means—one of the cheeses had cumin seeds right inside it! the beers were mostly good and occasionally excellent!—and also via some less...

Watch Ronda Rousey Destroy Some Jamoke's Ribcage
Some guy who is the host of an internet show of some sort thought it would be a good idea to goad UFC champion Ronda Rousey into engaging in some friendly judo with him. The dude's ribcage probably wishes he'd just kept his mouth shut....