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Nobody Wants Fernando Torres
Fernando Torres must've thought that his two-year loan move away from Chelsea—where, instead of repaying his outrageous transfer fee with a highlight reel of goals, he became more well known for his comical, almost unbelievable ability to miss unmissable shots—to AC Milan would be the perfect opport...

NFL Claims ESPN Is Lying About Damning Email
The NFL has fired back at ESPN and Don Van Natta Jr., who this week published quotes from what is reportedly an internal NFL email that all but confirms what everyone already assumed: that the NFL was lying when Roger Goodell assured owners that his office had done everything in its power to obtai...

How CBS And The NFL Teamed Up To Screw <em>Wheel Of Fortune</em> And <em>Jeopardy!</em>
In January, CBS acquired the rights to air NFL Network's Thursday Night Football through the first half of the season. That slate turned out to be some of the shittiest professional football ever put on television, and it was a financial catastrophe for the Tiffany network. But prime-time nation...

Judge Throws Out Evidence In Aaron Hernandez Murder Trial
A big win for Aaron Hernandez's legal team today, as a judge ruled that prosecutors can not introduce text messages that Odin Lloyd sent minutes before he was shot to death, seeming to indicate that he was with the former Patriots star....

Dan Patrick's Session Beer For Bros Will Fill Up Your Passion Bucket
Last year Red Hook teamed up with television and radio personality Dan Patrick to produce Audible Ale, which they proudly trumpet as "the ultimate craft beer for watching sports." What confers this ultamism? The marketing material suggests it's derived primarily from Audible's "crushable" status, ...

My Goodness, The Challenge Flag Is Still So Dumb
Were you watching Thursday night football? I hope you weren't. The most exciting part was debating whether a little red flag fell or was thrown....

Sharper Indicted On Rape Charge In New Orleans; Possible New Victim
Darren Sharper and two acquaintances have been charged in a rape investigation in New Orleans. The case is one of several sexual assault cases involving Sharper that have been ongoing since earlier this year. ...

Spinal Tap IRL: The Brief, Sordid Reign Of '70s-Rock Legends UFO
Let's try something here. Here's a song called "Hot and Ready," by the band UFO. Give it a listen....

Oklahoma State RB Tyreek Hill Accused Of Choking Pregnant Girlfriend
Police arrested Oklahoma State running back Tyreek Hill Thursday night on probable cause for a felony charge of domestic abuse by strangulation. According to the police report, Hill got into a fight with his girlfriend at his place in Stillwater....

Dickhead Jaguars Fan Cancels Texans Fans' Plane Tickets
If you're looking for another reason to stay off Facebook and social media sites in general, allow me to offer this one: There are Jaguars fans on social media, and some of them are sociopaths....

NFLPA: Patriots And Team Doctor Conspired To Screw Player Out Of $3.85M
The NFLPA alleges that the New England Patriots, including Robert Kraft, Bill Belichick, and the former team physician, were involved in a plan to alter or withhold treatment of a former player in an attempt to force him to return his signing bonus....

Sony Leak: Will Ferrell As Donald Sterling In A <em>Ruthless People</em> Remake?
One of the oddest revelations in the Sony mega-leak features a pitch to remake the 1986 Danny DeVito film Ruthless People as a take on Donald Sterling, starring Will Ferrell as the former Clippers owner and Melissa McCarthy as his wife Shelly....

Bears' OC Gives Tearful Apology For Criticizing Jay Cutler To Reporter
Bears offensive coordinator Aaron Kromer stood up in front of the offense earlier this week, and offered an emotional apology for telling an NFL Network reporter in a conversation that was later reported on TV that Jay Cutler's play has "killed" the Bears. Cutler, according to the Chicago Tribune, "...

Pete Prisco Very Adamantly Does Not Understand Probabilities
The most impactful decision in tonight's heinously boring Thursday Night Football contest between St. Louis and Arizona came with 6:10 left in the game. St. Louis, down 12-3, had 4th and goal on Arizona's 1-yard-line. In a situation where the Rams needed both a touchdown and a field goal to win, Jef...

Thank God That Cardinals-Rams Game Finally Shut Up And Died
Jim Nantz earned his per diem Thursday tonight when he diagnosed, during the final moments of the drudgery that was Cardinals-Rams, what a throwback this game was....

Here's What The Johnny Manziel Effect Looks Like For Fox
The above NFL viewing map, from our friends over at 506sports.com, shows what fans were originally slated to watch for Fox's early game on Sunday. Both the Tampa Bay at Carolina and Washington at New York matchups are trash, so only fans in those markets were scheduled to watch them. Practically...

Here's An Oregon Coach's Embarrassing Story About Marcus Mariota
Scott Frost's address at the Frank Broyles Award ceremony, where he was a finalist, had an obviously high bullshit content, proving anew that the Oregon offensive coordinator is indeed head-coaching material. Thing is, it was also pretty funny. He warmed up the Little Rock crowd with some boilerpl...

How Accurate Are ESPN's Fantasy Football Projections?
This post was originally published on Datascope. Republished here with permission. ...

Congress Staffers Walk Out, Perform "Hands Up, Don't Shoot" Protest
Staff from both the U.S. House and Senate, along with elected officials and the Senate chaplain, walked out today to show support for those protesting the deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner....

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