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Down With Pizza Shaming
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering weapons, QB friends, the Raiders, and more....

Brawl Between Auburn And Alabama Fans Ends With Guy Pulling A Gun
You can't really make out a whole lot in this video of a fight between Auburn and Alabama fans, save for the typical shirtlessness and hollerin', but if you pay real close attention you can see, as the YouTube description states, a dude popping out of the car at the 30-second mark and brandishing ...

Big 12 Announces There Could Be Two "One True Champions"
Since it's believed the College Football Playoff selection committee will reward teams for winning conference championships, knots in the Big 12's undies tightened because the Big 12's highest rated team, No. 5 TCU, doesn't control its own destiny in winning the conference's championship. Afraid it ...
![Darnell Dockett Is Apparently Live-Tweeting Jury Duty [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/aot4hcnq8c7w0lyxbkwa.jpg)
Darnell Dockett Is Apparently Live-Tweeting Jury Duty [Update]
Update, 5:30 p.m.: It's come to our attention that the photo of a courtroom that Dockett tweeted is actually an old photo, from a 2013 trial in Washington State. So it's entirely possible that he's making this whole thing up. Our original post on Dockett's tweets is below....

Goose Island BCBS: Trophy Beer That's Worth The Chase
A couple of weeks ago, one of my old day-drunk buddies brought another of our kind into the bar. That was notable, because we don't get a lot of new blood, not even the kind of new blood that is basically the same old blood wrapped up in a different bag of scum and bones....

Uh Oh, Transgender High School Students Want To Wreck Sports By Stealing Scholarships And Showering With Girls
Girls' sports might be coming to an end (think: apocalypse), according to a full-page ad in the Star Tribune. And that's not all. The very concerned, very conservative Child Protection League Action group who placed the ad went on to holler:...

Buccaneers, NFL, & Aramark Refuse To Comment On Use Of Unpaid Servants
Sunday's revelation that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are among several professional sports teams using unpaid, destitute "indentured servants" as concessions workers has led to swift action on behalf of government bodies as well as the Rays and their stadium services contractor Centerplate, but the Buc...

New Footage Of Spanish Hooligan Brawl Shows Murdered Man Thrown In River
The 200-person battle between Atlético Madrid and Deportivo La Coruña ultras that resulted in one death has understandably been a huge story in Spain. We now have additional footage of the event. Above is video of the murdered Depor fan as he is thrown into the Manzanares River....

Justin Bieber Tells Blake Griffin About His Ill Go-Kart, Or Some Shit
It wasn't just the Patriots that Justin Bieber was hanging out with in the Clippers' locker room last night. He also got to spend some quality time with Blake Griffin, as seen in the video above. What do you think they are talking about? I bet Justin is telling Blake all about the super fucking ill ...

The Jets Are Out Of Ideas
Before the Jets fell, ugly, to the Dolphins and to 2-10, every offensive starter received an individual pregame introduction. Every starter save Geno Smith, who entered, quietly, with the rest of the team....

Ha Ha Clinton-Dix Learns Painful Lesson About Tackling Rob Gronkowski
Packers safety Ha Ha Clinton-Dix is a rookie, and he still has many lessons to learn about how to survive in the NFL. He received an important bit of knowledge during Sunday's game against the Patriots, though: Unless you are, I don't know, J.J. Watt or the Incredible Hulk, don't ever try to tackle ...

Which Elite NBA Teams Are Beating Up On Bad Opponents?
Here's a helpful bit of observation that popped up on reddit last night. A redditor called Caged put together the point differentials of NBA teams against above- and below-.500 opponents. Unsurprisingly, they look a little different from the straight-up version....

The Patriots Hung Out With Justin Bieber Last Night
We like to give the people what they want. Here on the internet, the people just want to be able to feel something, anything—usually hate. So! Here are the New England Patriots hanging out with Justin Bieber. You're welcome....

"Iron Mike Coldly Leaves Jim Gray": Your Best Mike Ditka Stories
Last month we ran your best Mike Ditka stories, and at the same time solicited for more. Our readers came through, so here is the second volume of Mike Ditka stories. As always, if you have a story about Mike Ditka—or anybody else—that you think we'd find interesting, you can share it in the comme...

Drink Up, Lil' Buddy
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Report: Deceased Ohio State Football Player's Brain Will Be Examined
According to the Franklin County (Ohio) coroner, a neuropathologist will examine the brain of deceased Ohio State football player Kosta Karageorge "for signs of traumatic brain injury," ESPN reports. Dr. Anahi Ortiz told ESPN that brain examinations aren't typically done in autopsies, but is in this...

St. Louis Rams Call St. Louis Police Liars
A St. Louis Rams executive apologized (Update: he denies apologizing, see below) to police on behalf of the team's front office for players' use of the "Hands Up, Don't Shoot" gesture before Sunday's game—a gesture that left St. Louis cops demanding punishment for the players....

Over-Excited Washington State Fan Eats It On Live TV
Wow, we didn't know the famed Apple Cup could pump up Washington State kids this much, but ol' girl was totally psyched when the camera was rolling. Her Cougars ate it about as hard as she did in the 31-13 loss to the Washington Huskies....

Odell Beckham Jr. Continues To Be A Superhuman
We already knew that Odell Beckham Jr. is a mutant who possesses the ability to make catches that mere mortals can only dream about, but we didn't know that he could also do stuff like this:...

Amateur MMA Fighter Attempts Showtime Kick, Fails Gloriously
If you've ever seen an amateur MMA event, you know that they're filled with men and women who dare to attempt the impossible. At a Warrior Camp's event held just outside Spokane, Wash., on Friday, one man showed off just how impossible as part of an incredible exhibition highlighted by the above att...