f Page 2006 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Adorable Kid Thinks Candy Corn Is A Candle, Tosses It In The Garbage
A YouTuber named Kyle Quinn gave some candy corn (which is garbage) to an outrageously cute sixth-grader in China. That sixth-grader thought it was a candle, and threw it in the trash. That sixth grader is the best sixth grader....
Disneyfied NFL Logos Are The 2014est Thing Of 2014
Here's some news from the Internet. [Designer] has reimagined all [30-some] logos of [powerful sporting league] teams to correspond to [popular culture trope or foreign sporting league]. Also, you'll notice that [particular sporting franchise] now has the look of [Disney princess whom online quiz sa...
Bengals Fan Is Having A Wonderful Time
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Deion Sanders On Whether People Choose To Be Gay: "Who Wouldn't?"
Deion Sanders, who really shouldn't be on TV to talk about anything other than football, is here seen on TV (the Internet? What is Ora?) giving his expert opinion on homosexuality, which he says "could be" a choice. In this interview, Larry King is asking Sanders about Michael Sam, whom Sanders re...
Leah Still Reminds Us What A Bullshit Deal Childhood Cancer Is
The NFL Network (and, evidently, enormous caterpillars with human faces) have identified the sugary-awful emotional center of tonight's battle of Ohio: a 4-year-old named Leah Still, the daughter of Bengals defensive tackle Devon Still. She's attending the Browns-Bengals game tonight. It's t...
Andy Dalton Has No Use For Your Football "Rules"
You'll have to forgive Andy, it's his first day in Pop Warner and he's not quite clear on how to play football yet....
Texas High School Nixes Football Team T-Shirt Featuring Rape Joke
A Texas high school forced its football team to get rid of T-shirts with the slogan, "Shhhhhhh[,] just let it happen," because we all know what the fuck they were implying....
Does Banana Bread Belong In Your Beer?
Bananas are pretty good. I'm not sure if Deadspin has ever issued a ranking of the fruits (editor's note: duh), but they probably have, and it was probably wrong, because everyone always underestimates kiwis and pretends to be too cool for apples. But if I were ever consulted on such a project, I'd ...
"He Reeked Of Jim Beam And Slim Jims": Your Best Mike Ditka Stories
Yesterday we posted Andy Richter's telling of Mike Ditka doing "one of the most senselessly arrogant & aggressive things" he'd ever witnessed. It seems that nearly everybody that has ever stepped foot in Chicago has a Mike Ditka story, usually involving cigars, booze, or both. Below are some of ...
Carter Ashton Suspended 20 Games For PED Use
Maple Leafs forward Carter Ashton has been handed a 20-game suspension, and will forfeit nearly $170,000 in salary, after testing positive for the banned substance clenbuterol. Ashton blamed it on his use of an asthma inhaler:...
Ole Miss's Fumbles Were The Most Damaging Plays This Week
After last week's tough loss to LSU, Ole Miss once again trailed a ranked division opponent in the fourth quarter. Ole Miss put together some promising drives, but two fumbles prevented the Rebels from retaking the lead and resulted in two of the costliest plays of the week, according to data fr...
Colin Kaepernick's Fumble Was The Most Devastating Play Of Week 9
Week 10 starts in a few hours, so while we can, let's finish cleaning house on Week 9. Down by three with ten seconds remaining, the 49ers were one yard away from the St. Louis end zone and appeared on the verge of victory. But Colin Kaepernick fumbled in what was not only the most detrimental pla...
How Man-Child Tight End Rob Gronkowski Revived The Patriots' Offense
Rob Gronkowski—whose skull houses one 14-oz. official NFL "The Duke" football, and whose circulatory system is chiefly responsible for the delivery of Natural Light—has been incredible for the last few weeks. Tom Brady's missed his best receiver at full speed, and they're making up for lost time. ...
Dolphins, Chiefs Agree To London Games In Hopes Of Hosting Super Bowl
The NFL has unveiled its 2015 "International Series"—three games to be played in London's Wembley Stadium, three teams forfeiting the competitive and financial advantage of a home game. Why on earth would anyone want to be the "home" team in London? Here's the really simple answer:...
Michael Beasley Reduced To Status As Kevin Durant Flunky
At one point early on in The Offseason: Kevin Durant, that HBO reality show aimed at getting its star better endorsement deals, walking brand Kevin Durant flies some of his buddies out to Los Angeles, where they intend to stay for the summer. We're introduced to Childhood Friend Cliff Dixon, Manager...
Adrian Peterson And Ray Rice Should Be Reinstated Now
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
<em>El Mariachi</em> Is A Feast Of Bloody Micro-Budget Silliness
There's a moment early in El Mariachi, the micro-budget 1992 movie that introduced Robert Rodriguez to the world, where our hero, an unnamed wandering musician, asks a bartender if he can work there, singing for tips. The asshole bartender laughs in his face and says that he'd never pay one guy ...
Molly Shattuck Allowed Teen To "Touch Her Vagina With Penis": Indictment
We got a copy of the unsealed grand jury indictment against former Baltimore Ravens cheerleader Molly Shattuck, 47, who is accused of raping a 15-year-old boy. What the indictment lacks in character development and detail it makes up for in dispassionately clinical description of sexual maneuver...
Yuengling Black And Tan Doesn't Suck
Thanksgiving is the best holiday, and second place isn't close. I deeply regret that I spent several obnoxious years pretending that Thanksgiving is overrated. That's preposterous, for it is impossible to be too enthusiastic about a midweek vacation day devoted entirely to sloth and excess....
Michael Kay Screams And Rants About Mike Francesa And Integrity
Yankees play-by-play announcer Michael Kay was fuming at radio host Mike Francesa yesterday on his radio show, and called out the Sports Pope after Francesa suggested YES controlled what Kay could and couldn't do....