f Page 2129 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cops: Two Miami Players Admit Sex Assault On "Physically Helpless" Teen
Two Miami linebackers, Alex Figueroa and JaWand Blue, have been arrested and charged with sexual battery after admitting to raping a "mentally or physically incapacitated" 17-year-old girl in a campus dorm over the weekend....

Fugitive Arrested After Making Dumb Redskins Joke In Newspaper
Here is a tip for anyone that is currently a fugitive: Do not let a newspaper put your picture and full name in print, even if it is in the service of crapping on the Washington Redskins' racist name....

Alfredo Di Stéfano Could Wallop With The Best Of 'Em
It's unfortunate that it can take a great player's death for us to go back and really appreciate what a talent like Alfredo Di Stéfano brought to the sport. That's especially so in America, where the popular notion of soccer involves Brits inventing the game, Pelé and Brazil mastering it, us continu...

Yes, Referees Are Biased Towards Brazil
Today, Brazil will face off against Germany in the World Cup semi-finals, and they'll do it without their superstar Neymar, who was taken down in Brazil's game against Colombia. FIFA has decided that they won't punish Juan Camilo Zúñiga, whose knee-to-the-back tackle fractured Neymar's vertebrae. Bu...

How ESPN's Body Issue Hides The Naughty Bits
It's time once again for ESPN The Magazine's Body Issue, with which you furiously masturbate to Prince Fielder while telling yourself you're just admiring his athleticism. But they sure don't make it easy, obstructing the various pudenda and (female) nipples. Which is an art and a science in itself....

Political Blogger Hired By Redskins Resigns After Two Weeks
When it comes to attempts to defend the team name backfiring embarrassingly, Washington remains undefeated. Ben Tribbett, a left-leaning political blogger recently hired to "help the team promote a tradition that means so much to so many people," has announced his intention to resign....

Cocky Pigeons Think They Can Just Walk On The Field During Rays Game
A trio of pigeons hung out in the infield of Tropicana Field during tonight's Royals-Rays game. They thought they owned the place, strutting around and bobbing their heads with no regard for the baseball going on....

Here's What Middle-Aged Napoleon Dynamite And Pedro Look Like
Reader Brian sent along his friend's photo, which he claims was taken in Idaho. He believes the men in the photo look like Napoleon Dynamite and Pedro, "40 years in the future." We can see it....

Canada Destroys Kuwait In Under-19 Football, 91-0
Look at this photo of the Kuwait team before their first game in the International Federation of American Football tournament. So full of hope. Canada wrecked them, 91-0. Masakeen....

Sigh. Here Is Johnny Manziel Kind Of Doing The Nae Nae.
Well, we really boned ourselves here. Our non-exhaustive list of Johnny Manziel dirt that we will actually pay for included a $325 bounty for a video of Johnny Manziel doing the Nae Nae. (Why $325? Who the fuck knows.) Naturally, a tipster reached out to us with a video of Johnny Manziel doing the N...

The Cavs Needed The NBA's Help To Delete Dan Gilbert's Comic Sans Letter
Dan Gilbert's tantrum of an open letter remained on the Cavs' website for one day shy of four years, conveniently being deleted just as the Cavs stepped up their free agency pursuit of LeBron James. A team spokesman explained to SB Nation's Mike Prada just how that went down:...

Reminder: The LeBron Free Agency Circus Is The NBA's Fault
We're watching the rubber band snap on LeBron free agency coverage. We waited all year to see what would happen, and now that it's happening, there's... rather a lot of coverage, isn't there? But remember, whatever hysterics into which teams and Twitter and ESPN have been thrown were created by the ...

The Problem With Native American Slurs, According To Dan Snyder's Dad
Vinny Cerrato phoned a Boston sports-talk station recently and tried to explain why Dan Snyder won't change his football team's now officially derogatory name. "It's not a money thing for Dan," Snyder's former sidekick claimed. Instead, Cerrato dropped some Freud on us. ...

Report: Josh Gordon Got His DWI Charge In P.J. Hairston's Car
The Triangle-area athletes-getting-in-trouble scene is tangled, and recently, quite busy. Let's put some pieces together....

Yankees Fan Caught Sleeping In Stands Sues Everyone For Defamation
The man in the screencap above, taken from ESPN's April 13 broadcast of a game between the Red Sox and Yankees, is a deeply sensitive man who does not understand how the internet works. We know this because he has filed a defamation lawsuit against ESPN, John Kruk, Dan Shulman, and MLB Advanced Me...

Superstar Alfredo Di Stéfano, Real Madrid's "Blond Arrow," Has Died
You've heard of Pele and Maradona, most certainly. Today, though, I sing of Alfredo di Stéfano. Di Stéfano, who died today at 88 from a heart attack, was arguably the greatest player never to have played in a World Cup....

How The Rivalry That Was Supposed To Usher In Cycling's New Era Didn't
On Tuesday, May 29, 2012, Andy Schleck won the 2010 Tour De France. He finished 39 agonizing seconds behind Alberto Contador on the road, but the Spaniard's suspension for taking clenbuterol meant that Schleck inherited the yellow jersey. Winning a proxy war against Contador was a cruel way to bag...

Forgotten Bookmarks
Over at Narratively, Shannon Firth profiles Michael Popek:...

Paramore's "Ain't It Fun" Is The Summer Jam Twitter Desperately Needs
It's a pleasantly sweaty June night at the bucolic, Live Nation-owned Xfinity Center in Mansfield, Mass., and Hayley Williams looks like she's ready for a fight. The lead singer of Paramore is sporting the kind of high-waisted shorts, knee braces, and white high-tops you might associate with a sparr...