f Page 3139 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Apocalypslam Now
Whole world's coming to an end, Mal. So why not pick up a copy of former UFC light-heavyweight champion Forrest Griffin's think-piece on a post-apocalyptic Earth?...

Italian Soccer Show's Secret Life as a Mafia Middleman
From the Guardian.co.uk:...

One Time, At Football Camp, Players Came Down With a Rare Soft-Tissue Condition
Via The Oregonian:...

Young Texas Footbrawl Fan: "Woo! We Got One of 'Em Hurt!"
Oh, the psychology of the Lone Star State high-school-football-scrimmage observer. This lil ditty here's from a Spring/Clear Spring preseason affair that done turned scrappy, so sayeth the people on 5atexasfootball.com....

Down Goes Strasburg (Sort of). Nationals' Autopsy Scheduled (Today).
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A Tomlinson Fan Wears Adult Diapers in Brooklyn. Why?
I'd know the answer if the fan in question was Namath sans cell-phone waist-unit. But it's not....

And Now, MLB Mad-Libs
A 41-year-old man was arrested after allegedly spewing racial epithets at a security worker and yelling at a woman who spurned his advances during a ______ ___ ___ [proper name] game....

A's Ballboy Scores Chick Using Four-Balls Trick
You'd think the Oakland Athletics would plaster embed links of their first attention-worthy event since Canseco pumped McGwire's ass full of inject-a-juice far and wide. Not the case. So, here's an excerpt of the story ......

Introducing Shawn Andrews: NFL Lineman, Aspiring Rap Impresario, Depression Sufferer
As beefing up their division rivals' rosters go, the Philadelphia Eagles rule. First was the QB to Washington. Now, the former All-Pro O-lineman they released in March signs with New York....

It's Still Painful, Fun to Watch Lenny Dykstra Talk
Now I may not be some big-city financier, but Lenny Dykstra had me at "The steroid issue really isn't relevant right now. ... But [Jim] Cramer's been the only guy that's been correct. ... I'm 168-0 right now."...

Cardinals Broadcaster Arrested For Drunken Driving, Smiles Beet-Faced For The Camera
Dan McLaughlin—the primary play-by-play guy for the Cardinals on Fox Sports Midwest—was arrested on Monday for suspicion of drunken driving just outside of St. Louis in Chesterfield and, well, he made a funny face. [St. Louis Today]...

Private Stache: Roger Clemens Gets Intimate With Old Bush, For Once
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Jason Whitlock's Explanation Interview: Live Blog (UPDATE: It's Over)
Whitlock is talking about Kansas City right now. Where is he going to take his talents next? Grab some BBQ and plop down for a few hours....

Florida Man Has Scarred Elderly Couple For Life Because He Keeps Fucking Their Horses
Best line from this fascinating news report via WCTV comes courtesy of Priscilla McDearmid: "I don't even like to have the dog out at night lately because we don't know if that man is standing over there in the corner somewhere watching."...

Nenad Krstic Was Arrested For Throwing That Chair
Following yesterday's basketbrawl at the Acropolis Tournament, Athens police arrested Nenad Krstic for his role in the fight since his chair hit Yannis Bouroussis, leaving Bouroussis with a "bloody wound on the side of his head." Plate-breakingly bizarre updates inside....

Can You Catch A Foul Ball While Carrying Concession Stand Food?
Probably not. We'll second The Fightins' description of this play by a Phillies fan as "the coolest foul ball catch you've ever seen." He should date Sara Saco. [The Fightins]...

Cockblocked by Snow! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

All The News That's Fit To Analogize Ridiculously To Food
Your food metaphor of the day, courtesy The New York Times: "We all know the cliché that a prosecuting attorney can persuade a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, but Clemens — and Barry Bonds, with his trial scheduled for next March — are not mere ham sandwiches but rather the prime beef of baseba...

