f Page 3140 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"When Their Panties're Moist, We'll Give 'Em The Finale": One Stud's Adventures In Deca And Male Stripping
Paul Solotaroff, the guy with the pecs in the above photo, lived through the age of muscle, which on one notable occasion found our hero shimmying for horny Long Island women, his dick in a Star of David rayon sling....

Violent Bike Collision Has Quick, Polite Resolution
A guy riding his bike with a shoulder-mounted camera hits an old man. Words are exchanged. Disputation seems inevitable. Then both graciously agree on their mutual culpability and move on. Moral: Old people need to watch where the fuck they're going....

Last Night's Winner: Jamie McCourt
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Jamie McCourt, recent divorcee and current possessor of Frank McCourt's balls in the batshit divorce case that gets batshittier by the day....

LeGarette Blount's Punching Problem
First there was this one. Then there was this one. Now, College Football Talk reveals another time Blount's temper was channeled through his fists. There's a good chance Blount's first career rushing stat in the NFL will be for -15 yards. [PFT/CFT]...

'Hi, I'm Sidney And I'm Going To Get Tim Tebow Laid'
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Say Hello To Grandma Babs, Deadspin
Facebook contest winner Babs Claire has returned from her very special afternoon with Daulerio at Yankee Stadium. Her account, after the jump....

Greeks And Serbs Fight It Out On The Basketball Court, With Their Fists
The Acropolis Tournament in Athens ended today when the Greek and Serbian teams got into a bench-clearing brawl. Come for the punching, stay for the Nenad Krstic chair-throwing. [AP]...

Like Fencing, But With Sex Toys
Because when's the last time you saw someone get knocked out with a 7-pound dildo? [Video via here, music via Star Trek]...

Today In Incongruous Rap Anthems: Jordan Shipley
Everyone thank MC Howley for this loving tribute to Bengals rookie Jordan Shipley. H/T MKM...

Dwyane Wade Thinks LeBron James Has Handled Himself Very Well This Summer
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Dwyane Wade. ...

Percy Harvin Collapses, Has Name Changed
Vikings all-everything Percy Harvin, suffering from a migraine during practice, vomited on the sidelines and collapsed. He was taken to a nearby hospital by ambulance and caused ESPN copy-editors to miss a typo which referred to Harvin as "Migraine." H/T six tipsters....

The Oxford English Dictionary Now Being Interrupted With Buzzing Sound
Vuvuzelas have reached the big time, having been added to the newest edition of the OED along with such other words that we'll be using forever and ever as "staycation," "bromance," "chillax," and "interweb"—singular. [NYT]...

Roger Clemens To Be Charged With Lying To Congress About Scary, Scary Drugs
The feds, basking in the glow of their wildly successful perjury prosecution of Barry Bonds, will reportedly indict Roger Clemens on charges that he made false statements to Congress about his PED use. [NYT]...

The Least Enthusiastic Team Fight Song Ever Recorded
This is the Toms River, NJ, little league team being forced to perform the song they wrote. Put it in night vision, and it's indistinguishable from a hostage video. [Star-Ledger]...

What Gets Wetter As It Dries, And Is Also A Giant Penis? Chad Ochocinco's Dick Towel
"Ladies only—after my surgery," he Tweets. I give it 0.7 Shiancoes. [TwitPic]...

Stories That Don't Suck: Colt McCoy And The Texas Quarterback Miracle
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: Colt McCoy, quarterback of quarterbacks....

Bull Escapes Bullring — Through The Crowd
Forty people were injured when a panicked bull made a break for it into the stands at a Spanish bullring yesterday, though no one was killed. Except the bull, of course. [AFP]...

How To End A Relationship Via One Half-Assed Marriage Proposal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

And The Lucky Individual Who Gets To Spend The Afternoon At Tomorrow's Yankees Game Is...
Barbara Claire, from Waterford, Connecticut...come the fuck on down! Barbara's winning comment below....
