f Page 3158 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How To Perfect Your Imaginary Serial Killer Technique
Your letters:...

Save The Endangered Canadian Beer Snake
The Winnipeg Blue Bombers are considering banning the age-old Canadian pastime of stacking beer cups, after spectators were "slightly injured" during this record-breaking attempt last week. Aw, but it almost reached the 55-yard line! [CBC]...

David Ortiz Swears In Spanish During Home Run Derby, Announcers Hilariously Mistranslate
During his first round of derbying, David Ortiz took a break to wipe himself down and sip some of Rafael Soriano's Gatorade. Then he said "pussy" in Spanish, and Berman and Joe Morgan thought he meant something else. Let's break it down....

Toddler Mows Down Referee With Golf Cart
With a 2-year-old child wedged on the pedal, the golf cart careened out of control across a high school football field, leaving bodies in its wake. Well, one body....

Another Thing LeBron James's Narcissism Caused: One Michigan Man's DUI
"When asked if he'd been drinking the man said that he had been drinking, and it was because LeBron James had decided to play for the Miami Heat instead of the Boston Celtics." [MLive]...

Andy Richter Keeps An Eye On Jennie Finch's Backstop
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Pro Football Hall Of Fame Awards, Woooop, Slide Back, Back, Back Into Irrelevance
Awful, awful leatherhead Chris Berman is the recipient of this year's Pete Rozelle Radio-Television Award, an award that had been previously given to actual sportscasters like Pat Summerall for their "exceptional contributions" to TV pigskin. World, stop honoring this man....

Your Final Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup
It's been a wild ride this past month, hasn't it? Let's take one last look at the goals from the third-place and final games of the World Cup with some assistance from music that isn't even close to being culturally sensitive....

Dan Gilbert Rebuts Jesse Jackson With Silly Font
Here's another Comic Sans missive from the Cavs' owner. C'mon, Dan, take the plunge — Zapf Dingbats. [NBA.com]...

Silent Farts Vs. Loud Farts — WHO YA GOT?!
I love to fart. I really do....

Florida Manages To Commit Recruiting Violations On Facebook
Today in "Snitches Get Stitches" news, a rival school—not necessarily an SEC rival—has tattled on two Florida coaches for improperly communicating with recruits over Facebook on separate occasions. The improper method: public wall postings. Wait, what?...

Timofey Mozgov Is Cocksucker
Today is day Timofey Mozgov becomes most unlikable person in Russian Basketball Super League, and perhaps all Russian sports. I think he is okay a year ago. No more. He is villain now....

Bikini Season Is Half Over, People
There's still time left to get into beach shape—and Equinox Fitness Clubs is helping you get there by offering you a 3-day VIP trial membership. Take a tour through the Equinox photo gallery below, and click here for your 3-day VIP trial membership now!...

This Is The T-Shirt Every NBA Fan Should Wear When The Miami Heat Come To Your Town
Dan Gilbert has already purchased several thousand of these. You should, too! [KissMyAssLeBron]...

A Wheelchair-Bound Fan Storms Field During CFL Game
Now this is how you disrupt a game. I assume this person is handicapped but the details on his great murderball ride to freedom are scarce. Provide them if you can, please. Thank God they didn't tase him. [YouTube via Orlando Kurtenblog]...

Pacers Screw Indianapolis, Don't Even Kiss Them Afterward
This might be the worst of all taxpayer-funded bailouts: the city of Indianapolis will pay at least $33 million to keep the Pacers for the next three years — not even with a new arena, but just to maintain the status quo....

And You Thought LeBron Signing Would Be The End Of Unsourced Rumors
In an article that should probably have been in the gossip section, Chris Paul reportedly toasted at Carmelo Anthony's wedding to a "Big 3" of them and Amar'e Stoudemire in New York. It's ludicrous, but let Knicks fans have this. [NY Post]...

The Biggest Winner In Today's World Cup
Congratulations to Dutch adult-film star Bobbi Eden who can now remove her name from the Jaw Transplant List. Ms. Eden noted on Twitter on July 6 that she "will give a BJ to all my followers" should Holland win the World Cup. At the time, there were less than 5,000 followers. Today, there were 112,...

World Cup Open Thread: Netherlands-Spain
After 63 matches, we have made it to the final. It figures that Wesley Sneijder and David Villa—two of the breakout stars of the tournament—would settle things....

FMK: Ichiro, Werth, Strawberry
I've fielded kyuu or juu tips-emails about this video of Blossoming Young Lady Giddying Up After Ichiro Elbows Her Face, Caresses Her Outer Thigh....