f Page 958 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Andrew Luck Means
Given the circumstances, it’s remarkable Andrew Luck wasn’t playing for the Detroit Lions. The Colts franchise QB is retiring less than two weeks before the NFL season is slated to begin. There’s already a host of people, namely idiot Colts fans, ready to castigate Luck for his timing, but Luck is h...
Report: Holy Shit! Andrew Luck Is Retiring!
ESPN is reporting that Andrew Luck just up and retired tonight. The season is just two weeks away! The Colts were playing a preseason game when the news broke!...
Crystal Palace's Patrick van Aanholt Scores Late Winner To Bring Down Toothless Manchester United
It appears that no matter how hard they try, Manchester United are unable to shake the fact that mediocrity is now a staple characteristic of the once-dominant (if that even means anything anymore) club. Case in point is the fact that the focus of this summer’s transfer window was to bolster the def...
The Orioles Probably Didn't Even Notice They Were Eliminated From Playoff Contention
The Orioles brought the inevitable to reality on Friday, officially getting eliminated from playoff contention with a 7-1 loss to the Rays. All things considered, the news probably isn’t hitting the clubhouse too hard. For one thing, the players will get a much-needed break away from this hellish se...
Let Michael Irvin Scare You Into Getting Excited About College Football
Today is apparently the official start of the college football season. As someone who doesn’t have a vested interest in a team with any sort of non-lethal relevance, it’s very easy for this day to come and go without much fanfare. However, if you’re a fan of the University of Miami, there was almost...
Patty Mills Casually Tosses Team USA On The Barbie, Snaps Their 78-Game Winning Streak
Prior to Team USA’s game against Australia on Friday, Kemba Walker told an Australian reporter that there was a lot of room for growth within the team, and that their previous performance was perhaps not as great as some players thought it was. The quote was the kind of thing a veteran player says t...
We're The Staff Of Deadspin. Let's Chat!
The week’s all but blogged out. We’re down below in the comments, hanging out and waiting for your questions. Ask us stuff, and we will answer it! Update: We’re done!...
Let's Remember Some Guys: Behind The Remembering
If I had the choice, which in fact at some time in the past I might have, I don’t know that I would choose to remember the things that I remember. There are moments from my life, real nights and days I lived in a younger version of my body, that I can feel fading into something more indistinct. Grea...
I Had To Go See The 28-Pound Chonky Cat For Myself
Yesterday, Philadelphia’s Morris Animal Refuge posted photos of a big cat. A really big cat. It went viral. ...
Man Who Was Not Good At What He Did: "You Can't Be Good At What You Do If You Don't Pour All Of Yourself Into It"
Abject failure of an NFL head coach Hue Jackson got the Greg Bishop treatment over at Sports Illustrated this week. Bishop has made a lane for himself working up sappy redemption narratives for sad-sacks who don’t really deserve it. Jackson, a grating figure who got shit-canned by the Browns after g...
Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Philadelphia Eagles
Some people are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....
Never Forget That Fernando Torres Was A Force Of Nature Before He Was A Meme
It has been a while since Fernando Torres was something other than a melancholic presence on the soccer field. The man nicknamed El Niño—who played for Atlético Madrid, Liverpool, Chelsea, AC Milan, and Atlético again before retiring on Thursday at Japanese club Sagan Tosu—saw the arc of his career ...
The NFL Has Accepted The 80-Yard Field So Now Chaos Can Reign
So it turns out that professional football teams can do all the things they need to do on any given day with 20 percent less field. All they have to do is not give much of a damn about it....
Check Out Tom Brady And His Stupid Hat
Check out Tom Brady’s stupid hat! He wore it last night after the Patriots’ 10-3 preseason win over the Panthers. It’s a nice big hat, one that might protect you from the sun’s harmful rays. Unfortunately for Tom, he wore the hat indoors at 10:30 at night. Tom Brady’s sold monorails to Brockway, Ogd...
Brian Flores Says He Played Jay-Z Songs To "Challenge" Kenny Stills, Supports His Protest
One day after Dolphins receiver Kenny Stills called out the NFL’s superficial-seeming social-justice partnership with Jay-Z and Roc Nation, head coach Brian Flores loaded up the practice playlist with a bunch of Shawn Carter’s songs. This appeared to be a strangely antagonistic move from Flores, but...
IIHF Bans Evgeny Kuznetsov For Four Years After Positive Cocaine Test
The International Ice Hockey Federation announced today that Washington Capitals center Evgeny Kuznetsov will be suspended from international hockey for four years after testing positive for cocaine in late May. The statement says:...
Crotchety Rockies Broadcasters Wish Harm On Idiot On The Field
An idiot ran out onto the field during the second inning of Thursday night’s Rockies-Cardinals game in St. Louis. An army of security personnel briefly chased the goof around the outfield and then the infield. The crowd ate it up; the batter had a chuckle; even several Cardinals players appeared to ...
Packers-Raiders Preseason Game Played On 80-Yard Field Due To CFL Goalpost Issue
Thursday night’s Packers-Raiders game is being played in Winnipeg, at the home of the Blue Bombers of the Canadian Football League. Suited though the stadium may be for Canadian gridiron football, it turns out the field is not up to the job of hosting an NFL game, not without screwing around with t...
Every Baseball Team Has A "Wet Guy" Now
On the first day of May in 2013, in the start that ran his season record to 6-0 and lowered his ERA to 1.01, Clay Buchholz limited the Toronto Blue Jays to five baserunners and no runs over seven innings. It was as good as Buchholz got in a season in which he was better than he’d been before or has ...
Kyle Kuzma Demonstrates Beautiful Touch As He Scores On His Own Basket
Team USA is down to 13 players, who are all in contention for the final 12-man roster. With the FIBA World Cup just 10 days away, the squad played the first of a two-game exhibition against Australia on Thursday, and won comfortably, 102-86. During the first quarter, Donovan Mitchell skied for an im...