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One Ref's Fall Over A Ceremonial Carpet Is Another Ref's Fall Over The Same Ceremonial Carpet
We're not sure where this clip came from, as the Leafs missed out on the playoffs for the sixth straight year this season, but sometimes — like when two men whose job it is to be alert on ice fail to observe and avoid the same ceremonial carpet laid out in front of them, for example — context just...

Bill Plaschke Is Easily Distracted
Because every stupid thing in sports requires one to take sides, we're torn on this one. Do we agree with the guy who willingly puts his life on display on an E! reality show, then says it's not fair to talk about his personal life? Or do we agree with — gulp — Bill Plaschke? You can see our dilemma...

How To Free Yourself Of The Dreaded “Sketchy” Label
I got a letter for our Drunken Hookup Failures last week from a dude named Matt. Now, Matt's hookup fail was fairly boring and didn't make the cut, but there was something at the end of his story that gave me pause, and it was this sentence:...

HOLY SHIT MONSTER JELLYFISH
That's the lion's mane jellyfish, which lives in the ocean and can apparently devour cities whole. I had no fucking idea this existed. COMPLETELY CHANGES THE GAME. I'm never going in the ocean again. Ever. I'm afraid to even take a goddamn bath now, lest this thing ooze out of the pipes and eats my ...

Bad Beats: Oddsmakers Love The Heat, Because Everyone Else Hates Them
Hello, folks. Welcome back to Bad Beats, the column you visit for betting advice and sad tales of gambling woe. Read past Bad Beats here. Got any stories for us? Email us at [email protected]. Subject: Bad Beats....

MLB Won't Let Us Show You Travis Snider Breaking His Bat Over His Knee, So Here's A Fucking Drawing I Did Instead
Travis Snider struck out with the bases loaded in the sixth against the Yankees yesterday and Bo Jacksoned his bat in two. It was pretty cool, especially considering that Snider went on to win the game with a two-out double in the 10th. As you know, we can't show you the video, lest we step on MLB's...

High School Baseball Player Gets Awesomely Creative With His Slide At The Plate
Caleb Walker, a player for Tupelo High in Mississippi, rounded third with his team down a run last Thursday and decided he would score. Walker told WTVA that this play was "one of the greatest moments of my life" — and since our share of high school glory moments are nothing like this, we'll give ...

How These Two White Guys Wound Up In This Kendrick Perkins Family Photo
Like most white guys from suburban Boston, half-brothers Brian Johnson and Justin Tsouros had never hung out with an NBA player. So when they arrived at the condo in Waltham, Mass., one evening in the fall of 2007, they didn't quite know what to expect. The place was dark. The blinds were drawn. But...

Your Football Team Will Win 11, Maybe 12 Games Next Season
With the release of the NFL schedule, fans everywhere finally have the chance to see their team's 16-game slate, and work out probable final records. And yeah, look at those games; your team's going to the playoffs for sure....

British Soccer Announcer Makes Most British Goal Call Ever
Dejan Stankovic scored a beautiful goal for Inter Milan in their 1-0 win over Roma in the Coppa Italia semifinal yesterday, and the great Ray Hudson was there for Gol TV's call. Magisterial, indeed....

With Apologies To Jack Edwards, This Junior Hockey League Announcer Is The Homer To End All Homers
After reading our post about Jack Edwards's deliciously biased Bruins coverage, reader Kenn sent us this excellent clip from a junior hockey league in Texas. In it, the announcer completely loses his shit, tries to calm himself down, and then loses his shit all over again. It sounds like he's cove...

Is Batman REALLY A Superhero?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering whales, video games, superheroes and more....

Jack Edwards: Homer To End All Homers
Last night, NESN's Jack Edwards reminded us that he is still the ultimate homer of the hockey commentating world — hockey's Tommy Heinsohn, if you will. In Game 3 of the Bruins-Canadiens series, Edwards screamed at Montreal's Roman Hamrik to "GET UP!" after he tackled Michael Ryder to the ice. He ...

Help Us Subvert MLB Video: Submit Your Highlights To Become The Official Team Deadspin
We're truly inspired by how many of you are interested in mocking the MLB video policy by reenacting its highlights each week. We've heard from volunteers from T-ball teams, high school teams, plenty of "beer-drinking softball teams," and one from a guy who isn't "allowed within 200 yards of a schoo...

MLB Won't Let Us Show You Video Of Justin Verlander's Amusing Balk, So Here's A Fucking Drawing I Did Instead
Justin Verlander had a weird little blooper against the A's on Saturday wherein he stepped off the rubber as if to throw to first but wound up going home anyway, nearly plunking David DeJesus in the process. It was funny. We'd show you the video, but if we did Major League Baseball would get its cri...

Jon Barry Can't Stop Giggling At Derrick Rose
Dan Shulman and Jon Barry tried their damndest to properly announce the Bulls-Pacers game on Saturday, but Derrick Rose made it a difficult task. We can't really blame them. Rose had 39 points in Chicago's 104-99 win, and his baskets were, throughout, brilliant. Brilliant enough to make Barry gigg...

Josh Elliott Reluctantly Submits To An Interview With Us Before His Last Day At ESPN
Some of you may know Josh Elliott as the soon-to-be former co-anchor of ESPN's morning "SportsCenter". Some of you may not know him at all. If you were not familiar with his work along side Hannah Storm, you missed out. We had no idea he read our site. We really appreciate him taking the time on his...

NBA Selects Man Who Relocated The Sonics And Lied About It To Head Relocation Committee
It gets worse for Sacramento. David Stern has appointed Clay Bennett, second-most hated man of Seattle and 2008 Oklahoman of the Year, to lead its Relocation Committee. The deadline for the Kings decision has also been extended to May 2....

The Greatest Facebook Fail Ever
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

12 Of The Year's Punchiest Hockey Fights, Evaluated By A Boxing Writer
As far as I can tell, the main difference between boxing and hockey fights is that during a hockey fight, you're standing on ice. And sliding all over the place. Therefore it becomes important to hold your opponents in place with one hand to stabilize them before you can hit them. Other than that,...