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Commanders primed to replace Lions as NFL’s worst
In back-to-back weeks, the Washington Commanders have circled the drain. In a matchup of turd-bowl franchises racing to the sewers, Sunday’s Week 1 win over the Jacksonville Jaguars, Washington didn’t stink for a change. ...
IDIOT OF THE MONTH: We're surrounded by idiots
“Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.” ― Mark Twain...
Man alive, Dan Snyder has a lot to answer for
Daniel Snyder has run one of the NFL’s flagship franchises into the ground. From revenue to attendance and overall fan interest, the now-Commanders have never been less relevant to the most popular sport in America, with no signs of the end of the plummet in sight....
The Washington Commanders are moving into a tiny house
The Washington Commanders proposed stadium in Virginia was already a boondoggle. Even before the Virginia state legislature paused its vote on the Commanders’ contentious stadium subsidy deal, support was dwindling. The Commanders know a little something about losing support. The team ranked 32nd in...
Dan Snyder’s Commanders are a failed state
The Washington Commanders are a crumbling empire. The once thriving franchise has been reduced to something worse than a laughingstock over the last two decades. The Houston Texans, Jacksonville Jaguars and New York Giants are a joke. Dan Snyder’s dysfunctional Washington Commanders are a waking nig...
Dan Snyder’s Commies usher in new era with same old brand of failure
If you thought Tom Brady was petty for being scooped by a few national NFL reporters over the weekend about his impending retirement and drawing it out until an Instagram post on Tuesday morning, at least he didn’t take the lazy approach and ignore what we now know to be fact. The former Washington ...
A date has been set for the unveiling of the Washington Football Team’s new name, if they could only set a date to stop being a clown show
It took some years but the Washington Football Team is finally going to have a name that is neither a racial slur nor the name a middle schooler would choose in create-a-franchise mode, if forced by parents to play Madden instead of Grand Theft Auto. Washington announced today that on Feb. 2 its new...
Ja Morant says he’s taking social media break after being heckled at home
The internet leaked into real life again as living, breathing faceless Twitter profiles took human form, came to FedEx Forum and told Ja Morant to go back on the injured list during the Grizzlies’ loss to the Thunder on Monday. If you missed it, Memphis won 10 of 12 against an easy schedule, includi...
Week 13 NFL Powerless Ranking: Detroit finally wakes from nightmare
Welcome to this week’s NFL Powerless Rankings. We’re closing in on the home stretch of the NFL season, and we know the contenders from the pretenders at this point. We’ll talk about the contenders later because this list is about the less fortunate teams in the league. Let’s check out the worst of t...
Idiot of the Month: New calendar page, same old dweebs
Welcome to Deadspin’s IDIOT OF THE MONTH, the world-renowned monthly series where we direct sophomoric insults and, occasionally, pointed commentary at those sports figures most deserving of the smoke. We are but a day removed from Halloween, yet those listed after the jump have been cosplaying as m...
This week in metaphors: ‘Sewage’ water rains down on Washington football fans
Once in a while we are blessed with a visual representation so perfectly accurate that it can’t be ignored. And, indeed, that is what we have here, captured on video: a burst sewage pipe at FedEx Field, leaking filthy shit-water on paying fans....
Washington Team to 'Consider' Name Change Amid Pressure From FedEx, Nike, Pepsi
The press release that the Washington NFL team put out on Friday morning reads like someone loading up a plate at an all-you-can-eat buffet while promising to go on a diet afterward....