ff Page 272 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Steve Kerr Goes Fucking Ballistic At The Climax Of A Warriors Meltdown
In the fourth quarter of Wednesday night’s Warriors-Trail Blazers game, referee Kenny Mauer went to the replay monitor to check a hard foul from Draymond Green on a cutting Zach Collins. The game had already gotten chippy, after a huge Collins chase-down block at the other end seemed to unsettle the...
Hockey Man Makes Mild Criticism, Immediately Regrets It
Two teams on the edge of playoff contention played an OT thriller on Thursday night, as the Carolina Hurricanes won on the road against the Sabres, 6-5, in a game that was extremely fun to watch for anyone not aligned with Buffalo. ...
Police Confirm That The Body Of Cardiff City Striker Emiliano Sala Has Been Found
The weeks-long search and rescue mission for the plane that disappeared in the English Channel while carrying new Cardiff City striker Emiliano Sala late last month has come to its tragic endpoint: Dorset Police have confirmed in a statement that they found the body of the 28-year-old Argentine in ...
There Was A Big Ol' Brawl Between Patriots Fans At Their Super Bowl Parade
The Patriots held their Super Bowl parade today in Boston, and when you have so many in this short of a span, it gets a little repetitive. The team took a shot at ESPN’s Max Kellerman, because apparently he was this year’s big baddie who needed to be proven wrong. Bionic mastiff Rob Gronkowski and h...
How The Patriots' Defense Put The Rams In A Trash Can
Okay, so Jared Goff looked lost and Sean McVay had no clue how to adjust and the Patriots basically needed just one touchdown drive to win another stinkin’ Super Bowl while also defeating what we all thought was the future of the NFL. So what did New England do that so panicked Goff and McVay? Mostl...
Jared Goff Blew It
We have to start with what should have been the Super Bowl’s first touchdown. Late in the third quarter, Robert Woods dragged a trio of defenders over to the left sideline while Brandin Cooks ran briefly uncovered into the end zone, only to go unseen by Jared Goff long enough for Jason McCourty to ...
Bill Belichick Stands Athwart The Future
When the most tedious Super Bowl in history had ended and you had picked up your jaw after learning that Tom Brady had not been named the game’s most valuable player out of desperation and habit, you realized that, fittingly, most people did not get what they wanted out of America’s Jesus-Free Chris...
The Rams Had No Answer For One Patriots Play
If you squint really hard, and maybe turn your head 75 degrees to the right, you could find an oasis of good football in the desert of crap that was Super Bowl 53. It didn’t come in the first half, which was the second-lowest scoring opening 30 minutes in Super Bowl history. And it didn’t come from ...
Where The Hell Was Todd Gurley?
The last thing anybody wants to hear on this awful Monday morning is “Bill Belichick takes away your best player,” but, uh, that’s exactly what he did to the Rams’ dismal offense in the Patriots’ 13-3 Super Bowl win. Nothing at all went right anywhere for Los Angeles when they had the ball, but thei...
Mondo Fucking Dumbass Insanely Wrong On Super Bowl Prediction
Here’s CBS NFL analyst Tony Romo, seer of seers, prognosticator of prognosticators, giving his Super Bowl prediction from last week. Check out Nostradamus over here!...
Well, That Sucked
At no time was Super Bowl 53 as compelling, entertaining, or satisfying as that video of a naked guy pooping while flipping into a lake. Sunday evening would have been better spent watching that again. But we watch the Super Bowls we are given, so our options are either to admire the defensive domin...
What Time Does 'What Time Does The Super Bowl Start?' Start?
The time has come once again for the “big game,” the football-related contest that surrounds every first Sunday of February, the race to the top for the big trophy. That trophy is, of course, dominance over other grimy web publications who engage in the now-annual, semi-hallowed practice of debasing...
NFL Teams Are Taking All The Wrong Lessons From Sean McVay's Success
It’s a commonplace that the NFL is a copycat league, but that doesn’t tell the whole story. Look at the rise of Sean McVay, which in recent months has prompted a mad scramble among teams for McVayalikes the world over. Confronted with one successful unorthodox coaching hire, many NFL teams seized on...
Blake Griffin And Reggie Jackson Played An Unsightly Game Of Hot Potato
In hell, you can only watch Pistons games. And, overnight in hell when the Pistons games are over, they only show highlight packages from the 2004 Finals. Ah, but in the afternoon, when you think you might at least get to see highlights from around the league, hell’s NBA TV just shows one play, over...
I, The One Person Who Still Doesn't Believe In The Patriots, Know They'll Finally Be Exposed As A Sham In Their Third Straight Super Bowl
After my previous missive, one written before the New England Patriots defeated the Kansas City Chiefs in the AFC title game and earned a trip to the Super Bowl, I had many common oafs criticize my prognostication through electronic mail and other various mediums. You lummox, these messages would st...
Patrick Peterson: Upon Second Thought, I Shall Ride The Towering Assberg
Back in October, with his horrid Cardinals stuck at 1–6 and playing like a gigantic ass that was pooped out by an even larger ass, Pro Bowl cornerback Patrick Peterson reached the end of his rope and demanded a trade, sending word through Adam Schefter that he “desperately” wanted a change of scener...
Sergei Bobrovsky Gives Good Lesson On How Not To Play Goaltender<em></em>
The Sabres and Blue Jackets are mostly back from the all-star break tonight, but Columbus is still waiting on goaltender Sergei Bobrovsky to return from his vacation. In Bobrovsky’s defense, facing top Buffalo goal-scorer Jeff Skinner on a breakaway is nobody’s idea of “easing back into it,” but the...
Hate The Patriots For The Right Reason
The idea as pitched was to do one more takeout of the essential evil that is the New England Patriots collective—because, yeah, that’s never been done before. Up until now, it’s been one hagiography after another, because the Patriots have been so damned cuddly and cheek-pinchable. The helmet logo i...
Sheffield United's Billy Sharp Celebrates Goal With Mr. Socko
Despite the best efforts of Norwich keeper Tim Krul to disrupt Billy Sharp’s focus before his penalty kick, the Sheffield United striker scored from the spot to give his time a 1-0 lead to end the first half of play. Sharp, one of the most prolific scorers at the senior English league level, ran ove...
Colonel Rob, Legendary Advocate For Sleaze, Is Dead
Robert “Colonel Rob” Schaffner, an L.A. outsider art deity and the guy who got Heavy Metal Parking Lot to whatever masses it got to, is dead....