ff Page 509 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brian Cashman The Elf, Ken Rosenthal The Ninja, And Other Rumblings Around The Hot Fucking Stove
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall.) This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...
Is Winning The Overtime Coin Toss A Blessing Or A Curse?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
Lane Kiffin Tweeted A Happy Birthday Wish To Britney Spears
Of course he did. [via]...
NFL.com Is Still Calling The Broncos The "Denver Tebows"
The "fast-charging Denver Tebows" are still "in the hunt" for a Wild Card spot, according to NFL.com. I'd prefer the Denver Not Kyle Ortons, but that's just me....
The Baseball Hall Of Fame Ballot Is Out, And It Seems No One Good Retired In 2006
The fine folks at the Baseball Hall of Fame mailed out their ballots today, and I immediately called our travel agent just to threaten her with litigation if she even thinks about getting me a hotel in Cooperstown next summer....
Jeff Francoeur Enticed Jonathan Broxton By Taking Him Hunting At Jeff Foxworthy's House
We brought you the preliminary details of this courtship in HOTFUCKINGSTOVE yesterday, but we buried the lead. Jeff Francoeur didn't just lure fatass reclamation project du jour Jonathan Broxton to the Kansas City Royals by taking him on a bow-hunting trip. Francoeur lured Broxton by taking him on a...
Jim Kaat Has A Very Reasonable Take On Not Being In The Hall Of Fame
Kaat today, on MLB Network with Bob Costas:...
One Jet Thinks Stevie Johnson's "Airplane" TD Celebration Was A 9/11 Reference
You thought Bob Costas was stupid? You clearly didn't know how stupid human beings could get when discussing end zone celebrations. That apotheosis belongs to Jets tackle Sione Pouha, who's convinced that Stevie Johnson was out to mock the death of thousands....
Stevie Johnson Beats Revis, Makes Touchdown Catch, Mocks Plax In TD Celebration
Stevie Johnson, who one presumes has yet to forget being forsaken by God, trolled the Jets hard after getting clearance from Darrelle Revis to catch a touchdown pass from Bills QB Ryan Fitzpatrick—first pantomiming a Plaxico Burress club self-shooting, then performing the airplane... that crashed....
Sabres Owner Says Penn State Scandal Is "Not About Covering Your Ass" Before Covering His Ass About Hiring Second Mile Board Member
You might wonder what Terry Pegula, the owner of the Buffalo Sabres, has to do with the Jerry Sandusky investigation. More than Terry Pegula would like you to believe. Pegula, who gave $88 million to Penn State last year to build a hockey arena and start a D1 hockey program, was in the news recently...
MMA Fans Boo Vladimir Putin, Will Soon Watch Fights In Gulags
Vladimir Putin, the most manly of manly sportsmen of sport and also prime minister of Russia, couldn't have been expecting boos when he stepped into the ring on Sunday night to swing his dick around in advance of Russian parliamentary elections. But it was boos he got. Russian MMA superstar Fedor ...
Tony Scheffler Scored A Touchdown, Staged His Own Flash Mob
Your morning roundup for Nov. 21, the day we learned texting about having a quickie with Jesus Christ is illegal in Pakistan. Video courtesy Cosby Sweaters. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
The Miami Dolphins Offense Drops 28 On The Bills In The First Half
This is not a season highlights package. This is a first-half-against-the-bills highlights package. This is noteworthy because the Dolphins have scored over 28 points only once this year. They put up 31 against the Kansas City Chiefs two weeks ago. It looks like that poor kid may have been wrong....
Miller Lite Is The Proud Beer Sponsor Of The "Baltomore Ravens"
And yet, all things considered, this spelling is more accurate than Joe Flacco generally is....
For The 2013 Season, The Astros Will Go To The AL West And Basically Everyone Will Go To The Playoffs
MLB's owners unanimously approved the sale of the Houston Astros from Drayton McLane to Jim Crane today, and included a $65 million price cut in the deal. The Astros will leave the NL Central and join the AL West for the 2013 season, and, to the relief of symmetricists everywhere, each league will h...
"Much Ado About Nuttin'" And "Brie 'Em To Their Knees" Buttons Pulled For Remaining PSU Football Games
Citizens Bank will not distribute its free game-day buttons for the remainder of the Penn State football season, according to the Patriot-News, for fear that the printed slogans "could be misconstrued in light of the sex abuse scandal on campus."...
I'm Pretty Sure David Brooks Just Blamed The Penn State Riots On Woodstock
We missed it over the weekend, but our man Pierce found this little turd of cultural intellection dropped by the Upmarket Jeff Foxworthy. Here's David Brooks responding to host David Gregory on Sunday's Meet the Press (if you're unfamiliar, Meet the Press used to be the Buffalo Bills pregame show). ...
The Lions Had An Awful Lot Of Excuses About The Wind Yesterday
You could chalk the Lions' embarrassing loss to Chicago up to many things. Turnovers, an inability to get the run game going, Matthew Stafford...but no matter how many things don't go your way, it remains all-but-impossible for an NFL team to win when the wind itself is a Bears fan. Here, some selec...
A Brawl Broke Out In Chicago
If you were watching the game, you saw this coming somewhere around the end of the first quarter, but the bitterness between the Bears and Lions finally came to a boil when a frustrated Matthew Stafford threw Bears defensive back D.J. Moore to the ground after tossing yet another interception, the...
Buffalo's David Nelson Scores Touchdown, Gives Ball To Cowboys Cheerleader Girlfriend
You might have read this week about Kelsi Reich, Cowboys cheerleader and longtime girlfriend of Bills receiver David Nelson. So of course when Nelson caught a touchdown pass in the first half of Buffalo's matchup with Dallas today, he sprinted to the other side of the field in order to give her t...