ff Page 516 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Well, Shit, We've Been Giving The Norris Trophy To The Wrong Man Every Year
Your morning roundup for July 1, the day we blamed math on luck. Photo via Reddit....
Here's Video Of A Pro Bowler Getting All Gutter Mouthed With A Foe
Let tipster hoseman666 explain this bit of profane professional-bowling fury for you:...
Here's China Losing Its Olympic Men's Soccer Bid On A Blown Call (Which Was Followed By A Humiliating Collapse)
Regrettably, the Chinese men's soccer team will not have a chance to follow up its 2008 Olympics performance—six goals against, one goal for, two red cards, one vicious episode of crotch-punching—with an appearance in London in 2012. The People's Republic was eliminated from the Asian Olympic qual...
Breaking: Mid-Atlantic Sports Scene Goes Insane
The Flyers shipped Jeff Carter to Columbus and captain Mike Richards to Los Angeles. Then Jim Riggleman resigned as Nationals manager, just as the Nats are the league's hottest team. All this in the span of about 20 minutes. We're just waiting for the Ravens to ritually slaughter an orphanage, and t...
Filthy Rich Kids Allowed To Sell Lemonade Outside U.S. Open For Charity After All
On Thursday, the heartless Montgomery County, Md. inspections office ordered a gaggle of children — including some from the Marriott-hotel and Lockheed-Martin clans — to close their lemonade stand right outside Congressional Country Club. The kids said they were raising money for pediatric-cancer r...
Minnesota Twins Disrespect Lesbian Love And God's Law
Kelsi Culpepper and Taylor Campione, a same-sex couple from Minneapolis, are filing a complaint with the Minnesota Department of Human Rights after a Target Field security guard rebuked them for kissing at a Twins-Angels game last month. City Pages reported:...
They Rioted In Vancouver Last Night, Eh
Don't ever let it be said that the fine people of Vancouver don't care enough about, oh, whatever, who knows what leads you to burn things after losing Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals. You just do....
Bills Fan's Cock 'N' Balls Make The Newspaper (SFWish)
Check out junior in the Posluszny jersey. Now check out his crotch, you pervert. At least it's Buffalo, so he can always have the "it was cold" excuse....
Brad Marchand Punching Daniel Sedin Like An Inflatable Clown, Set To An Adorable Child's Song
We came across this cute Canucks kid, doing his own version of a Twisted Sister classic. We spruced up the visuals....
Miami Heat Encourages Season Ticket Holders To Actually Be Fans Of Their Team
An anonymous tipster, who swears against having any actual association with the Miami Heat, sent along an email the team had sent out to its season ticket holders this afternoon in preparation for "THE SINGLE BIGGEST HOME GAME IN THE HISTORY OF THE FRANCHISE!"...
How An MLB Umpire Helped This Kalamazoo Wiffleball Team Win Its Game
The Kalamazoo Wiffle League is the No. 1 competitive wiffle league in the nation, one of its players tells me. This becomes apparent when you see Steve Everett's leaping catch below, and even more so when you see the lengths the wifflers went to verify the call. At stake were the tying runs in the l...
Holy Balls Tim Tebow Is Ripped
And so ends any critical or mocking coverage of Mr. Tebow in these pages. Out of respect, yes, but mostly fear. [Twitpic, via Speedy Weederson]...
Charles Barkley: "Miami Has The Worst Fans"
Charles Barkley continued his righteous public crusade against all things Miami Heat today, when he spoke to the "Waddle & Silvy Show" on ESPN 1000. Nothing revolutionary here, just the special vindication that comes with hearing someone with a national audience say things that said audience has b...
JJ Barea's Sprite Ad In Puerto Rico Takes A Shot At El Ego De Kobe
There's a strange inter-endorsement battle taking place across the ocean on a billboard in Puerto Rico, where Sprite spokesman JJ Barea is quoted taking a shot at fellow Sprite spokesman Kobe Bryant. This sign, originally dug up by Bethlehem Shoals, translates to, "Only my ribs hurt, but for Kobe, i...
Boston's Nathan Horton Will Miss Remainder Of Stanley Cup Finals
Horton suffered a "severe concussion" from Aaron Rome's brutal late hit in Game 3 last night, and will be forced to sit for the remainder of the finals. Rome was ejected from the game and will meet with the NHL for a disciplinary hearing today. [SportingNews]...
LeBron James And The Mistaken Case Of The Shrinking Superstar
In last night's post-game press conference, CBS Sports controversialist Gregg Doyel took the mic and asked LeBron James about his fourth quarter performances in the postseason. The fourth quarter, Doyel suggested, is when "superstars become superstars" (a confusing idea of evolution in itself), an...
Well, The Ryan Giggs Affair Just Turned Really Fucking Weird
The News of the World, scorned by the Super Injunction, just punched in the launch code and turned both keys. They reported yesterday (subscription required) that Giggs had carried on an 8-year affair with his brother's wife, Natasha....
Mavericks Fan Sitting Behind George Lopez Speaks For All America
Your morning roundup for June 6, the day we learned the value of Bernie Madoff's underwear. H/T @bubbaprog, proprietor of mocksession.com, for accurately predicting what might tickle us this morning (and others for sending in their own grabs)....
Buckeye Voices: "You Guys Remind Me Of Some Tackhead Teenage Broads With Tissue Stuffed In Their Bras"
On Monday, as Jim Tressel announced his resignation, we brought you Buckeye fans' rage-filled tweets at Ray Small. They were so angry at Small for speaking to the Ohio State student paper, The Lantern: He told them that some players "don't even think about [NCAA] rules."...
Three Penalties Came Out Of This Fight, And Zero Were For The Finger Bite
Your morning roundup for June 2, the day a museum curator finally recognized that one of Flavor Flav's 100+ neck clocks is worthy of celebratory display. Video via Mocksession....