ff Page 537 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Now Iran Wants To Wipe Cheerleaders Off The Face Of The Planet
International competitions teach us a lot about cultural sensitivity. But sometimes the kumbaya stuff goes too far. Like when cheerleaders have to cover up during one of our basketball games, lest an Iranian player pop an infidel boner or something....
Deadspin HOF Nominee: Nightmare Ant
After a two-year hiatus from our Hall of Fame nominating rolls, Nightmare Ant has returned. But really, Nightmare Ant will never really go away. Hell, Christopher Nolan just made a movie about him....
Underwear-Clad Man In Brutal Wiffle Bat Beatdown
Donald Fehr (not that one) "was severely beaten with a plastic Wiffle bat when he refused to put on clothes." I mean, that's the risk you run. [AP]...
Thierry Henry And KISS Combine To Form The Most Bizarre Ticket Promotion Of The Month
Put "Strutter" on repeat and head to Dallas because for $40 you can see FC Dallas play New York and then come back two days later for KISS! One of the target audiences here probably feels insulted. [Press Coverage, pic too]...
Introducing Your Temporary Funbag Replacement: The Boring Bag
Drew's on vacation, but it's Tuesday and we need a mailbag. So instead of a Funbag, how about a Boring Bag? Today's topics: sidewalks, yawn-inducing numbers, a fish that is fast, and so much more....
Deadspin HOF Nominee: Sean Salisbury
Now that his lawsuit against Deadspin and Daulerio has finally been dropped, allow me to take this opportunity to finally speak about the issues between this Website and the one-time thespian. So, [clears throat] ......
Let's All Watch <em>Around The Horn</em> Uncomfortably Discuss The Mariotti Mess
Around The Horn returned from its fortuitously timed hiatus today to finally discuss Mariotti the best way they know: with a timer and a scoring system, and by barking like trained seals....
Deadspin HOF Nominee: Athlete Dong
Of all the things I thought Deadspin would end up being known for, back in September 2005, "pictures of the typically large penises of professional athletes" would have not been high on the list. But art evolves, you know?...
Jay Cutler, Chicago's O-Line Have Trust Issues
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Everybody Needs To Stop Talking About The Cubs' Future For A Few Months
After Lou Piniella announced he was retiring after last Sunday's game—fittingly, it was a blowout—the Chicago and national media started yammering on about who would replace him, and What It All Means For The Cubs. Please make it stop....
A Roundup Of Angry And Confused Emails Concerning That Bike Crash Video
Last week, I posted this video of a bike collision between an easily distracted helmet-cammed bicyclist and a jaywalking pedestrian. It proved to be fairly popular and elicited a strong reaction. Here are some emails I got....
Deadspin Hall Of Fame Nominations Are Out Next Week
Heavens to murgatroid, folks, it's that time of year again. Next week, voting commences for the 2010 Deadspin Hall Of Fame class commences. Deadspin turns five years old on September 8. How old we've all gotten....
John Buccigross' "Whore" Problem
On yesterday's SportsCenter, anchor John Buccigross—most likely reading from Elin Nordegren's statement—said, "It was a real marriage for whore." What a jagoff....
Plaxico Burress Is History's Greatest Monster Because He Stole A Punter's Number
It's standard operating procedure for newly acquired players to get their favored jersey number, but only after compensating the owner. It's been five years, and Burress still owes Jeff Feagles a new kitchen....
Apocalypslam Now
Whole world's coming to an end, Mal. So why not pick up a copy of former UFC light-heavyweight champion Forrest Griffin's think-piece on a post-apocalyptic Earth?...
It's Still Painful, Fun to Watch Lenny Dykstra Talk
Now I may not be some big-city financier, but Lenny Dykstra had me at "The steroid issue really isn't relevant right now. ... But [Jim] Cramer's been the only guy that's been correct. ... I'm 168-0 right now."...
"When Their Panties're Moist, We'll Give 'Em The Finale": One Stud's Adventures In Deca And Male Stripping
Paul Solotaroff, the guy with the pecs in the above photo, lived through the age of muscle, which on one notable occasion found our hero shimmying for horny Long Island women, his dick in a Star of David rayon sling....
Violent Bike Collision Has Quick, Polite Resolution
A guy riding his bike with a shoulder-mounted camera hits an old man. Words are exchanged. Disputation seems inevitable. Then both graciously agree on their mutual culpability and move on. Moral: Old people need to watch where the fuck they're going....
Roger Clemens To Be Charged With Lying To Congress About Scary, Scary Drugs
The feds, basking in the glow of their wildly successful perjury prosecution of Barry Bonds, will reportedly indict Roger Clemens on charges that he made false statements to Congress about his PED use. [NYT]...
How To End A Relationship Via One Half-Assed Marriage Proposal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....