ff Page 538 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Yankees Toss Limbless Boy In Water, Or Something
The Yankees kicked off their annual "HOPE Week" by treating 13-year-old Jorge Grajales to a pool party. Jorge is a quadruple amputee. Whatever, he still throws better than Knoblauch. [Journal News]...

Whitney Cummings Makes That Pamela Anderson-Magic Johnson HIV Joke You've Been Waiting For
During the Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff, comedienne Whitney Cummings took a shot at Pamela Anderson's penchant for sleeping with rock stars, imploring the former V.I.P. star to "drink a vat of Magic Johnson's blood"— because HIV/AIDS is hilllllllarious....

Circle of Life: When English Soccer Appears, American Beach Volleyball Disappears
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The NFL's Hall Of Fame Enshrinement Speeches, AutoSummarized
For those who missed all the speechifying Saturday in Canton—during which Rickey Jackson made Emmitt Smith sound like Cicero, and Chris Berman spent 22 minutes committing what I'm certain were several felony counts of public masturbation—we offer a summary....

Great Moments In Brick Wall Anthemry: “Orion”
All during Music Week at Deadspin, I'll be writing about great asskicking songs of yore. Today, it's "Orion" by Metallica....

Bowlegged Floyd Little Gets to Canton
Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith (and others) get their yellow jackets tonight. Travesty. What'd either of them ever accomplish?...

Not a Good Day for Tiger or Mistress Uchitel
PGA Championship's next week. How's Tiger doing at his warm-up event in Akron?...

Yes, Michael Irvin's Had Sex In His Hall Of Fame Jacket
AND NOTHING ELSE. Now that you've got that mental image, here's the money quote....

Today In Dogs Raving Their Faces Off
Per YouTube user BlueBlazeful, "Like anyone at a rave, he's either really feeling the music, or he's got rabies." We don't know what kind of raves BlueBlazeful attends, but if there are techno loving dogs there, we want to go....

LBJ's South Beach Recession: 30 Jobs Lost
Back when the Three Kings were the rejuvenating rage, Miami Heat spokeswoman Lorrie-Ann Diaz said, "We couldn't get [the ticket-sales staff] to go home!'' Until Friday. When 30 of them were laid-off since there were no tickets left to sell....

Oh Look, Troy Aikman Joined the Lane Kiffin Pile-On
So, the Pac-10 has an annual gala. Who knew? Well, at the one held Thursday night in Los Angeles, former UCLA QB Troy Aikman proved concussions don't erase harbored resentment from losses to USC in '87 and '88....

The Birth And Death Of Big Air
ESPN's latest 30 for 30 documentary about BMX trailblazer Mat Hoffman may have been a well-timed PR play for the Summer X Games, but it was also a bone-crunching reminder of the deadly brutality of extreme obsession....

Steve Sarkisian Taunts Lane Kiffin With Cellphone Picture
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: everyone's favorite embattled college football coach: Lane Kiffin....

Vernon Davis And Aaron Maybin Enjoy Stripper-Laced Vacation
In the past, NFL players had the luxury of a slower news cycle and no threat of grainy cellphone pictures—Joe Namath and Dan Fouts could attend a key party in peace, damnit. Those days are long, long gone....

ESPN Anchor Commits Gaffe. Oh, And He Calls Citi Field "Shitty Field," Too.
Following a look-in to whatever it is that A-Rod was doing, Anish Shroff flubbed sending it back to the announcers at the Mets game, saying, "Let's get you back out to Shitty Field as the Mets threaten [sic] the 8th." How embarrassing!...

Sen. Jim Bunning, R-Pluto, Thinks Stephen Strasburg Is A Wuss
Bunning, onetime pitcher and current obstreperous shitbag, waggled his cane yesterday at young Strasburg: "Five-hundred twenty starts, I never refused the ball. What a joke!" Then he clutched his shoulder and cried, "My arm!" That was either sarcasm or thrombosis. [Politico, via]...

I-Report: Startling Developments In The Case Of Jeff Samardzija's Baseball Reference Page Sponsor
In April, the I-Team was dispatched to find out as much as possible about Jeff Samardzija's Daytona days. One goal was to discover the identity of "Bootstraps the Bussie," judgmental sponsor of The Shark's* Baseball Reference page. Now, a twist!...

Everything You Need To Know About The Titans Suing Lane Kiffin And USC
The Tennessee Titans filed a lawsuit against USC and Lane Kiffin on Monday after the Trojans hired away former Titans running backs coach Kennedy Pola. Clay Travis sifts through the legalese and tells you everything you need to know. [FanHouse]...

Wilderness Unsurprisingly Impedes Insane Wilderness Marathon
Eric Strabel was on pace to shatter the record of the Crow Pass Crossing wilderness marathon in the Chugach Mountain region of Alaska when a bear "surprised him on the trail." Then he got lost. Then a moose blocked the trail. The Crow Pass marathon is a 24-mile sprint through mountains and forest...

Jeff Fisher Joins the People Disappointed in Lane Kiffin Club
USC is set to hire Tennessee Titans running backs coach Kennedy Pola to serve as offensive coordinator under coach Lane Kiffin, causing Titans coach — and USC alum — Jeff Fisher to question the professionalism of the Trojans' head man. "Typically speaking ... there is a courtesy call made from the ...