ff Page 548 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It Would've Been Better If He Said It While Wearing An Elephant Head
Nothing better to do this morning, Lane Kiffin? Actually, telling the (already drunk) SEC Gameday crowd that 'Bama would bounce the Gators is pretty cool. And mentioning that Sabes is penalized less than Urbs? Suddenly my Corso's all swollen-and-tingling. [Fanhouse]...
Looking For Dick
This is what it means to be a Bills fan: You spend your December days hunched over a team photo like some Bletchley Park code cracker, looking for proof that your recently shitcanned coach has been photoshopped into oblivion....
Blame Canada, Says The <em>Times</em>
The strong Canadian dollar is buoying Canadian NHL teams at the expense of American ones, while the Bills' "home game" in Toronto is decimating Buffalo businesses. It's time we use rendition to get Chris Bosh. [NY Times / NY Times]...
November: <em>Fin</em>.
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from November, ranked low to high....
Tiger's "Other Woman" Says Affair Story Is "Ridiculous"
The New York Post landed an exclusive interview with Rachel Uchitel, the woman accused of having an affair with Tiger Woods, as far as angry vehement denials go this is a pretty good one....
It Takes Two Fights, But Hockey Pugilists Finally Get It Right
Craig Rivet of the Sabres and Daniel Carcillo of the Flyers fought not once, but twice last night during Buffalo's 4-2 win. The first fight was mediocre and the Philly faithful made their feelings known with a lackluster, tepid response....
And Now TMZ Turns Tiger Woods Into Lionel Richie With One Fateful Post
Here we go: "Tiger Woods did not suffer facial lacerations from a car accident. They were inflicted by his wife, Elin Nordegren — according to a conversation Woods had Friday after the accident." And when he tried to get away......
BCS Is The Perfect System, Says BCS Website
Listen up, dummy. You probably think the BCS is a terrible way to determine a football champion, but that's because you're a moron. Your stupid playoff ideas are stupid and I know this because I read it on the INTERNET!...
Tiger Woods Rumored To Be Getting His Becky On, Internet Declares.
The National Enquirer has been tailing a 34-year-old NYC woman whom they claim is having a dirty affair with Eldrick. They even have pictures of her in Australia checking into the same hotel as him. Brilliant MediaTakeout commenters respond accordingly....
Matthew Stafford Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Matthew Stafford, who won the weekend by suddenly turning into Bobby Layne, minus the crippling hangovers....
Colorado May Consider Bake Sale In Order To Buy Out Coach
Colorado's football team stinks and no one really cares for head coach Dan Hawkins, but the usual solution—throwing money at the problem—just isn't going to work this time. They don't have any money left to throw....
Who Had Dick Jauron In Their Pool?
Now that guy got canned! The Bills owner said he fired his head coach today, because "nothing ever seemed to go right." That is very perceptive, Ralph. [Buffalo News]...
Two Of Three Tennessee Robbers Kicked Off Team
Nu'Keese Richardson and Mike Edwards have been "permanently dismissed" from Tennessee's football team after being arrested for armed robbery last week. (No decision on teammate Janzen Jackson.) So that's the quickest way to squander a football scholarship. [GoVolsXtra]...
Crazy Old Man Gives Bills The Bird
Unfortunately, that grumpy coot just happens to be the owner of the Tennessee Titans and his affinity for the ol' double deuce is now immortalized on YouTube. If you have hands, feel free to nervously wring them....
Tennessee Football Players Commit Armed Robbery While Wearing Tennessee Clothing
Three members of Lane Kiffin's much-hyped freshman class were arrested early this morning after robbing someone at a convenience store....in the middle of the Tennessee campus....while wearing Tennessee-branded football clothing. What's the opposite of a perfect crime?...
HuffPo's Super-Exciting, Cutting-Edge Sports Section Debuts ... With A Mike Lupica Column
Your favorite source for news off the AP wire and Robert Redford columns has deigned to launch a sports section, and it will surely revolutionize sports journalism just as soon as Mike Lupica is done talking about himself. [Huffington Post]...
This Is <em>Exactly</em> What It Looks Like
U.S. Marshals will be auctioning off Bernie Madoff's customized Mets jacket. So you can doubly pretend to make tons of money but fail in the end anyway. [Gaston & Sheehan Auctioneers]...
SDSU AD Gets His Mack On, At School Expense
Jeff Schemmel is under fire for traveling for trysts with a married woman, while expensing the trips to San Diego State. That's gotta be some kind of recruiting violation....
What Terrible Football Organization Will You Be Protesting This Weekend?
Are you a football fan? Then there's a good chance your favorite team sucks. Sorry. But if you really want people to feel your pain, you'll organize some sort of protest of upper management, because that always makes things better....
Layla Kiffin SI Swimsuit Issue Rumor Nearly Breaks Internet
For about 25 glorious minutes, the world believed that Tennessee First Lady Layla Kiffin would be posing for the next Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. "Absolutely not true," says UT. That's just cruel. [Fanhouse]...