ff Page 588 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Our On-Site Report From The Ice Bowl
Jack Kukoda is a native of Buffalo, NY and is a writer for the Onion News Network. He lives in New York City now. And he was at the outdoors Sabres-Penguins game yesterday and files this most amusing report....

Mother Nature Snowballs Bettman
Today's NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer. Enjoy....

What's In And Out For 2008?
Continuing his New Year's tradition going back into the last decade, Dan Shanoff weighs in with some trend-spotting: What's "out" with 2007 and "in" for 2008. Goodbye: Durant, Tebow, Dice-K, Saban, competitive eating and Reilly. Hello: Love, Pryor, Fuk-U, Rod, competitive drinking and B.D. Drew. And...

The NFL Playoff Picture Explained
Country X is planning to attack country Y, and country Y is anticipating the attack. Country X can either attack by land or by sea. Country Y can either prepare for a land defense or a sea defense. If X launches an attack by sea and Y prepares a defense by sea the probability of a successf— BAH! I'm...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after your long trek home ... • College football: How ya doin in your bowl pool? (7:30 p.m., ET) [ESPN] • NHL: Maple Leafs at Islanders (7:30 p.m., ET) Everyone gets this station. Right? [NHL Network] • NBA: Milwaukee at Denver (9 p.m., ET) Why not order in some Chinese? [Altitude]...

Looking Toward January 1 In Buffalo
For the 12 of you back at work, Melt Your Face Off offers this preview of the NHL's Winter Classic to be held one week from now, and why it kicks the ass of the stupid Capital One Bowl....

Looking Back, Looking Ahead
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....

Kevin Everett Picked The Wrong Game To Attend
For as much as he's been through this year, injured Bills tight end Kevin Everett has to be all confused why the Giants aren't exactly collapsing according to plan this late in the season....

Kirk Radomski Is In Your Extended Network
This analysis of the names in the Mitchell Report? Yeah, we're not done with it yet. Slate compiled a nifty little web graph — an "interweb," if you will — of how the players heard about the butt-needling services of one Kirk Radomski. It's color coded and everything....

Dan Shanoff's Yearly Christmas Tome
Continuing a Christmas tradition on Deadspin (and, before that, other fine holiday establishments), Dan Shanoff presents a special holiday poem, dedicated to the many reindeer who pull the Deadspin sleigh — usually drunk, stoned or otherwise on crack. Happy holidays!...

There's Something About Mirich
I used to think that I knew what Dee Mirich was writing about. I would read her impassioned, fractured poetry on various horse racing message boards, and nod knowingly. "Yes," I would say to myself, "Angels DO prefer hitching their horses to rainbows." But lately, Dee has been listing toward crazy e...

If You're Nice To Woody Paige, You Have A Chance At The Hall Of Fame
Keith Law and Rob Neyer, two guys who know more baseball than we've forgotten — wait ... is that how that phrase goes? — but they can't vote for the Hall of Fame. Woody Paige can. Vegas Watch looks at Paige's detailed, thorough thought process....

2007 College Bowlstravaganza, Presented By...
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....

The Complete List Of Players Mentioned In The Mitchell Report
Below, a complete list of players mentioned in the Mitchell Report....

Swim, You Brave, Magnificent Bastards! Swim!
OK, I can hear you complaining already. But the fact remains that I have lived most of my adult life by one simple rule: Anytime a game fish reenacts a scene from one of my favorite movies, it gets its own post. The movie is Shawshank Redemption, and this is one of those times....

Want A Playoff? Banish The Rose Bowl
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....

Everything Can Change In A Blink
For the rest of 2007, the NHL Closer will be written by the fine folks at Melt Your Face Off. Enjoy....

Tebow Wins Heisman, Loves Jesus
I didn't watch the Heisman Trophy presentation show (what's the point?) but I've been assured that Tim Tebow did in fact win. As a Gator fan of some 20 years I'm quite happy for Superman, but I'm not going to bludgeon you over the head with my homerism the way Tebow does with all of that god talk. O...

About Last Night
What you missed while playing Zap-A-Bug ... • NHL: In a game narrated by Morgan Freeman, Crosby's first trip to Edmonton results in 4-2 win by Pittsburgh. • NBA: Always Be Closing! Iverson scores 51, but is only 1-for-4 in the fourth quarter as Lakers beat Nuggets 110-107. • MLB: This just in: A .22...

God Just Can't Make Up His Mind About Kentucky Basketball
All right, seriously, God: You need to let us know whether or not Alex Legion is part of your worldly college basketball plans, or not. Enough with that global famine business: Let's get down to the real work....