ff Page 614 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Steelers vs. Bengals - 1st Quarter
• Chad Johnson spent his time before the game hanging out in the parking lot with Bengals tailgaters. Hopefully, he's sober....
Panthers vs. Giants - 4th Quarter
• If Ken Lucas and Marlon McCree played for the Giants, Eli Manning would be on fire. Unfortunately for Eli, however, they are Panthers. McCree did do the Giants a favor, though, and run about 20 yards backwards after the interception. But that probably just means DeShaun Foster has more yardage ...
Panthers vs. Giants - 3rd Quarter
• The Giants brought out Lawrence Taylor to be honored at halftime. This could provide some inspiration for the G-Men. Particularly if LT brought his pipe with him....
Panthers vs. Giants - 2nd Quarter
• After Carolina continued to gash the Giants up the middle with the run, Steve Smith got open over the middle for a touchdown. 7-0 Carolina. He followed it up with a snow angel in the endzone, and the any signifigance or entertainment value is lost on me....
Panthers vs. Giants - 1st Quarter
• The first half of the first quarter is timid and uneventful, but Carolina's settled into a little bit of a groove, moving the ball with relative ease. DeShaun Foster is gashing them a little bit, and Steve Smith is picking up yards on little bubble screens....
Redskins vs. Bucs - 4th quarter
• Mike Patrick just said the words, "An exciting muff."...
Redskins vs. Bucs - 3rd quarter
• That's how you get back into a game. First, the Bucs force a 3-and-out with a sack on third down, then a nice punt return, then a very slick offensive drive capped by a Simms TD on a bootleg. That's quality work you did at halftime, Jon Gruden. 17-10 Redskins....
Redskins vs. Bucs - 2nd quarter
• The Redskins front 7 is playing very well, keeping Cadillac Williams in check. In essence, they're putting the game into the hands of Chris Simms. • Tampa Bay gets on the board with a Matt Bryant FG, making the score 14-3 Redskins. This leads to the positively infuriating "Score, Commercial, Kic...
Redskins vs. Bucs - 1st quarter
• Anthony Becht and LaVar Arrington seem to have different levels of respect for the recent accomplishments of their alma maters. Becht announced himself as being from "The 2006 Sugar Bowl Champion West Virginia Mountaineers," while Arrington said he was from "North Hills High." • Chris Hovan has ...
Playoff Pants Party: Steelers Vs. Bengals
For some reason, we're more excited about this playoff game than any of the others, though we know we're in the minority. We think it's because the NFL world is always happier and more in balance when you see teams like the Bengals — or the Texans, or the Lions, or (lo!) the Buzzsaw — make the playo...
Playoff Pants Party: Panthers Vs. Giants
We think Tom Coughlin freaks us out a little bit. In our nightmares, when we've done something vaguely wrong that we don't understand but know that it was terrible, Coughlin's the type of guy who shows up in our dreams, screaming at us, like the drill sergeant gym teacher in "Beavis & Butthead." ...
Playoff Pants Party: Jaguars Vs. Patriots
This is the late game tomorrow night, which means, if you plan your day correctly, you should be properly hammered enough by halftime to confuse that dude in the corner with some ex-girlfriend who did you wrong. (Or, for female and non-traditional male readers, uh ... OK, we're not sure what the ...
Playoff Pants Party: Redskins Vs. Buccaneers
The NFL playoffs start this weekend, and we can't wait. We'll be previewing all four games throughout the day today....
Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs
It does seem like this has been happening a lot of late: The Buffalo Bills a couple of weeks ago didn't allow several fans to bring their anti-management signs into Ralph Wilson Stadium, threatening them with ejection if they didn't throw the sign away. The Associated Press interviews Mike Allenba...
The Good News is He Still Has the Beard
Former major league closer turned bumbling armed robber, Jeff Reardon, has stated that the reason for his bizarre behavior was due to medication he's been taking for depression.(Point for Tom Cruise.)...
When Bearded Closers Attack
If you haven't checked in with former Red Sox/Expos/Twins closer Jeff Reardon for a while, well, jeez, why would you? Apparently, though, Mr. Reardon has had a bit of a hard time of it lately....
Rocky Mountain Low
Those of you following the Colorado racist email story — essentially, a football player and his cross-country running girlfriend sent a nasty racist email to Latino cross-country runner Greg Castro — probably already know that the football player Clint O'Neal and his girlfriend Jackie Zeigle have ...
Buffs Football Program Continues To Shine
It is not the proudest of times for the Colorado football program. An offensive tackle has been suspended for sending a racist e-mail to a Hispanic member of the cross country team. The guy's girlfriend, also a member of the cross country team, also had something to do with it, and she has quit th...
Fun With Trade Rumors
We like it when the Internet has something before the Jayson Starks of the world do, so we're gonna run with this, because it's the end of November and not much is more fun than a good trade rumor. According to MLB Trade Rumors, the St. Louis Cardinals are "close" to a "major" move, with sources s...
Excuse Our Excretory Humor
OK, we're going entirely from memory here, since we haven't been able to find anything else about the exchange on the Web, but that's fine, we'd like to take credit for seeing it anyway. It will reveal just how puerile we really are....