When Bearded Closers Attack

If you haven't checked in with former Red Sox/Expos/Twins closer Jeff Reardon for a while, well, jeez, why would you? Apparently, though, Mr. Reardon has had a bit of a hard time of it lately.

Reardon was arrested Friday on suspicion of armed robbery in Florida. It might not have been the most well-thought-out crime.

The 50-year-old former All Star entered a mall Hamilton Jewelers store and handed a clerk a note demanding money. The clerk, believing Reardon had a gun, filled a bag with an undisclosed amount of cash.

Reardon fled the store with the cash and was followed by the store manager. Police arrived and arrested Reardon without incident outside a P.F. Chang's restaurant. The money was recovered at the same time.

You might say that this crime was the act of a desperate man whose prime has long since passed him and he has awakened to a world that no longer cheers him, or needs him. Or you can see it for the TRUTH. And that truth is that there is an international crime syndicate composed entirely of former closers. Tom Henke is the muscle, Dennis Eckersley the flamboyant assassin, Rollie Fingers is the detonation expert and beyond it all, the mysterious figure in charge of everything, lurks Lee Smith, sitting in a large chair in a dimly lit boardroom somewhere, petting a cat and planning the next big score. Jeff Reardon? Jeff Reardon was a PATSY, man!

Reardon Arrested In Florida [Baseball Think Factory]