fifa Page 20 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<em>FIFA Weekly's</em> Sepp Blatter Profile Is A Marvel Of Propaganda
This week's edition of FIFA Weekly, a magazine that exists, for some reason, contains a short profile of FIFA president Sepp Blatter. It is one of the most rank and shameless pieces of propaganda ever committed to print. ...
2022 World Cup Final To Be Played In City That's Currently Not Real
The 2022 Qatar World Cup continues to be a disastrous exercise for the world's most beautiful game. In addition to the deadly slave labor and oppressive heat, a CNN article from Monday points out that the city expected to host the final, Lusail, still needs to be built: ...
FIFA Insists Women Play On Turf, Even Though They Hate It
The 2015 women's World Cup is still quite a long way off, but that doesn't mean that FIFA isn't already working hard on alienating the participants. No organization is better at being the worst than FIFA, except for maybe SMERSH....
FIFA Stands With Russia
In response to calls from critics to strip Russia of the 2018 World Cup for its ongoing disastrous human rights record, FIFA has come out firmly on Russia's side....
FIFA's Report On World Cup Bidding Corruption Won't Be Made Public
We all had a grand old time in Brazil, didn't we? But now FIFA has to stop ignoring the fact that many (most?) observers believe the bidding process for the forthcoming Russia and Qatar World Cups was fixed, or at least flawed. In response to the clamoring for an update, FIFA has released a statemen...
FIFA's First Post-World Cup Rankings Are Out
Yes, we all know FIFA's rankings are bad and pointless and the formula is arbitrary and flawed. But if there's one thing we (the human race) can't resist, it's things, ranked....
The Guest List For The World Cup Final Was Pretty Ridiculous
Daniel McDonnell of the Irish Independent tweeted out this list of VVIPs and heads of state in attendance at yesterday's World Cup final:...
Maradona Calls Messi's Golden Ball Win A "Marketing Plan"
Lionel Messi was awarded FIFA's Golden Ball, as best player of the World Cup, and it was sort of a cruel selection. Not only did it highlight that the world's undisputed best player became increasingly less visible as the tournament wore on, but it forced Messi to receive his trophy on the pitch, wh...
The "FIFA Corruption" Twitter Account Is Fake, Of Course
Shortly after Germany won the World Cup final 1-0, a Twitter account popped up claiming that the match was fixed, and it had some seemingly convincing evidence. Alas, it was a (clever) hoax....
The World Cup's Third-Place Game Is A Goddamned Disgrace To Soccer
When Spain were dealt an embarrassing group stage exit a jet was chartered to fly their players back to Madrid as soon as a flight path could be cleared. Just a matter of hours after their final game against Australia, the Spanish squad was at São Paulo International Airport, perusing the Duty Free ...
FIFA Is Its Own Metaphor: A Day Inside The Underground Bunker
Excerpted from The Soccer Diaries: An American's Thirty-Year Pursuit of the International Game....
Yes, Referees Are Biased Towards Brazil
Today, Brazil will face off against Germany in the World Cup semi-finals, and they'll do it without their superstar Neymar, who was taken down in Brazil's game against Colombia. FIFA has decided that they won't punish Juan Camilo Zúñiga, whose knee-to-the-back tackle fractured Neymar's vertebrae. Bu...
Head Of FIFA's Anti-Racism Task Force Says It Hasn't Done Squat
If you've been taking in the World Cup this week, you probably noticed plenty of banners and commercials with FIFA telling you to just, "say no to racism." A great idea, except FIFA doesn't always follow its own message....
FIFA's No. 2 Is "Amazed" At How Drunk World Cup Fans Have Been
Congratulations, 2014 World Cup fans: You are very good at drinking. Or perhaps, like our American friend above, very bad at it....
Kosovo Club Offers Luis Suárez Chance To Play During FIFA Ban
Had you heard of K.F. Hajvalia out of Kosovo? Nah? Well, now you have. The Kosovan Superleague club offered Luis Suárez a contract to play for peanuts during the four-month, worldwide ban imposed by FIFA for biting Italy's Giorgio Chiellini. Kosovo, while part of the world, obviously, isn't fully re...
The Ministry Of Silly Walks Tests The Pitch In Recife
This photo was brought to our attention by the Washington Post's Cindy Boren, who assures us that we are looking at a FIFA official testing the conditions in rainy Recife, and not a Monty Python sketch in action....
FIFA Opens Disciplinary Proceeding Against Luis Suárez, The Biter
FIFA will invite Luis Suárez to defend himself against fairly overwhelming evidence that he straight-up bit a dude during a World Cup match. Under regulations regarding player misconduct against other players and non-0fficials and/or more general rules of decorum in the disciplinary code, FIFA has g...
Qatar Soccer Head Says World Cup Bidding Was Fair
Today's Guardian publishes an op-ed by Hamad Bin Khalifa Bin Ahmed Al-Thani, president of the Qatar Football Association, in which he contends that Qatar deserved to host the 2022 World Cup. It's the sort of thing that begs you to scroll to the comments first, just to see the readers catalogue omis...