fin Page 116 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Marcus Smart Fined $5,000 For Hilarious Flop
The NBA has fined Marcus Smart $5,000 after the Celtics guard became possessed by Beelzebub late in Boston’s win last night against the Hawks. That seems a bit steep; Kyle Korver’s booty has us all losing our faculties from time to time. Let’s remember some other great moments in Marcus Smart:...
These Drawings Of A New Chargers Stadium Are Pretty But Who Gives A Shit
Here are the renderings for an entirely theoretical retractable-roof downtown Chargers stadium, should the Chargers actually stay in San Diego. The NFL gave the city one more year to pay up—to cover $1.15 billion of the total cost of the $1.8 billion stadium/convention center project—or the Chargers...
Your Last-Minute, Pants-Shitting Guide To Taxes
Oh holy living fuck, Tax Day is Monday! Have you filed yet? Do you owe penalties? SHIT YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING JAIL. You better run. I know a place in Mexico where you can lie low for a bit while the Feds go searching for you. It’ll buy you the time you need, and then you can jump a shipping freight...
Don't Forget These Great, Easy Tax Deductions
Still haven’t done your taxes yet? Me either. Lucky us: we get an extra three days this year. But you should still get on that....
Finland's Brilliant Baby Boxes Are Finally Coming To Countries That Need Them, Like Ours
Having a new baby sounds, to put it lightly, terrifying. I imagine this is especially true at first, when particularly helpless infants are sent home with necessarily inexperienced parents. Baby-wise friends and family members can help, but it’s still pretty dangerous to put a total neophyte—like yo...
Villanova-Oklahoma Highlights, As Called By Jim Ross Clips From Wrestlemania
Wrestlemania is tomorrow in Dallas, but it was elsewhere in Texas that saw the slobberknockers tonight as Villanova smoked Oklahoma in the first Final Four semifinal. Here are some highlights of the game, as called by “J.R.” Jim Ross’s commentary in Wrestlemanias of the past....
Stadium Blacks Out Ribbon Boards To Fix Horrific TBS Glare
Massive viewer complaints about glare from the Final Four venue ribbon boards on TBS’s broadcast led to the lights being blacked out late in the first half of tonight’s Oklahoma-Villanova semifinal....
Man Achieves Adequacy
On April 1, in the Year of Our Lord 2016, a man finally achieved adequacy. We gave him a trophy, and surprise-interviewed him about this historic achievement. ...
Oh, This'll Really Reassure People That The Browns Have Turned Things Around
Robert Griffin III is a Brown. (As he was, on some level, always destined to be.) The Browns’ football people, especially head coach Hue Jackson, apparently loved what they saw from Griffin in a workout last week. A workout that was attended by shitbag owner Jimmy Haslam. We now learn, from this NFL...
Report: Browns Put Final Nail In RGIII's Coffin
Of all the teams involved in this offseason’s game of Mediocre Quarterback Musical Chairs, the Cleveland Browns had the most options. Of course, this only meant that the Browns had an array of sinkholes to fall into, and they seem to have finally chosen the one with Robert Griffin III at the bottom....
The Browns Have A Ton Of Options At QB, I Wonder How They'll Blow It
The carousel of mediocre-to-competent QB talent is spinning, and I want to get off. And not because it’s too intoxicating. For the Browns, we know this is going to end in tears. Tears and barf....
Carlos Vela Fined €100K For Blowing Off Practice After Chris Brown Concert
Real Sociedad forward and sometimes Mexico international Carlos Vela found himself torn between his love and his livelihood a couple weeks back, and his solution to the conundrum has now literally cost him a pretty penny....
Chris Cooley Has A Whole Bunch Of Thoughts On RGIII
Four years ago today, Washington agreed to send three first-round picks and a second-rounder to St. Louis for the right to move up to draft Robert Griffin III. Today, Griffin is a free agent, and the man the Skins selected on the third day of that draft is their QB and set to make $20 million....
How Much Should You Spend On Rent?
The first of the month is always a hit on your bank account. You know it’s coming, but that never makes it hurt any less. For most renters, that monthly check to the landlord is the largest expenditure you’ll make each month. But exactly how much of your hard-earned cash should you spend on rent?...
Skins Confirm RGIII Is Done In Washington
In the least surprising NFL news since the league’s nine-figure “accounting error,” the Skins’ team president made it more or less official: Robert Griffin III’s tumultuous four-year stay in Washington is at an end....
Dean Spanos Isn't Done Crapping On Chargers Fans Just Yet
San Diego Chargers owner Dean Spanos has already decided to torture his fan base by keeping his team in San Diego for one more season before deciding, next January, if he will move it to L.A. for the 2017 season. Based on Spanos’s recent comments, he’s going to ramp up the torment by dangling the po...
Blake Griffin Apologizes For Punching Clippers Equipment Staffer
Clippers star Blake Griffin spoke to the media today for the first time since he broke his hand punching friend and Clippers’ equipment staffer Matias Testi in the face, and apologized profusely for it....
Detroit Contractor Who Negotiated $285 Million In Public Money For The Red Wings Now Works With Red Wings Owner
Stadium financing is a scam no matter where it happens, but it’s particularly appalling when a bankrupt city like Detroit is conned into gifting $285 million to Red Wings owner Mike Ilitch so that he can build a new hockey arena. It gets worse: One of the men who negotiated with Ilitch on behalf of ...