fin Page 115 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Matthew Dellavedova Thumps Andre Iguodala In The Dick And Balls
Earlier today, we had Matthew Dellavedova atop our rankings of the most hateable players in the NBA Finals, and he lived up to his billing in short order, striking the first blow against an opponent’s dick and balls. The victim? Andre Iguodala....
Donald Trump Doesn't Know Shit About The Bay Area
Vulgar olive loaf Donald Trump is hitting the campaign trail in California in advance of the state’s June 7 primary. A good way to appeal to your constituents is to show that you’re “one of them” by feigning nominal interest in their sports teams. If you do this, though, you should have a working se...
Whatever Happens, Anderson Varejão Is Going To Be A Dude With A Championship Ring
The Warriors are a ruthlessly efficient team run by a fiery, undersized center who will take out his anger on your dick and balls and a teeny-tiny point guard who carries himself with a non-insistent swagger, and they’re owned by a techno-libertarian pug who named his dogs after Ayn Rand characters....
Dan Gilbert Is A Child
So you’re still having trouble deciding which NBA Finals team to root against. It’s tough! So many hateable players on both sides. Perhaps the tiebreaker can be found in the owner’s suite....
An Extremely Helpful NBA Finals Preview For Basketball Morons
Hello, casual basketball viewer! The NBA Finals begin tonight, pitting LeBron James’s Cleveland Cavaliers against Ayn Rand’s Golden State Warriors in a rematch of last season’s Finals, which the Warriors won in six games. Here’s what to expect, what to look for, and what to pretend to know about eac...
Nifty Little Conor Sheary Goal Gives Penguins 2-0 Finals Lead
The Penguins took a 2-1 overtime win tonight over the San Jose Sharks to hold serve at home and win both games in Pittsburgh. The first half of the game was a scoreless, tense affair that featured a photographer dropping their lens onto the ice and having it batted around like the puck for a second....
The 2020 Olympics Will Be Mega Gnarly; Get Ready To Shred, Brah
The 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo will probably not be a comprehensive shitstorm like these 2016 Games are shaping up to be, but there is a decent chance they will be much more rad, thanks to the new sports that could get added to the program. Five sports have made it through to the final round of w...
Surfer Whose Arm Was Bitten Off By A Shark Surfs On The Head Of The World's Supposed Best Surfer
Thirteen years ago, Bethany Hamilton’s left arm was bitten off by a tiger shark while she was surfing on Kauai. Despite losing 60 percent of her blood, she survived, returned to surfing three weeks later, became the subject of a number of movies and books over the years, and appeared on a ton of TV ...
The Giants Are Asking San Francisco For Millions In Tax Breaks
The San Francisco Giants have long peddled a charming fiction about their ballpark, billing it as the “the first privately financed ballpark in Major League Baseball since 1962.” That would be a fact worth commending if it were at all true, but according to a study conducted by urban planner Judith ...
Yannick Carrasco Celebrates Champions League Final Equalizer By Making Out With His Girlfriend
Yannick Carrasco brightened up a lackluster UEFA Champions League final by equalizing for Atlético Madrid, then brightened things even more by joining his girlfriend for some passionate celebration....
Russ And KD Are Running Things Now
Yes, for sure, the Oklahoma City Thunder made tactical adjustments that helped them in Game 3. They went small early, with Andre Roberson at power forward, rather than going huge, as they had in the first two games; they used Roberson as a screener instead of parking him in the corner where the Warr...
Report: Rangers Want New Modern Ballpark To Replace Current Modern Ballpark
Just what the fresh hell is this?...
The Western Conference Finals Will Be Good As Hell When Kevin Durant Shows Up
With around seven minutes left in the third quarter of last night’s game, Steph Curry lost Serge Ibaka around a down-screen and hit a wide-open three to push the Warriors’ lead up to ten points. Oklahoma City mostly had managed to prevent Curry from getting that clean a look at the basket in the gam...
The Time RGIII Called A Meeting And Told His Coaches How To Coach
Over at The Undefeated, Jason Reid takes a long look at a complex question—why did Robert Griffin III fail in Washington?—and, somewhat disappointingly, operates under the theory that there can be a simple answer. Despite that, it’s a very worthwhile read as both a broad chronicle of a bizarre four ...
Report: Richard Pitino Overspent Private Jet Allowance With Permission Of Sexually Harassing Ex-AD
Remember Norwood Teague, the former University of Minnesota athletic director who resigned last fall after he sexually harassed a number of women? A recent university audit found that, apparently with his encouragement, the Gopher men’s and women’s basketball teams misspent hundreds of thousands of ...
Taxpayers Cover $34 Million Arena Renovation, Hockey Team Leaves Two Years Later
What is the absolute worst, most jarring way to learn your team is leaving town? Nope, not that. Nope, that’s pretty bad, but this is worse:...
Clippers Lose Chris Paul And Blake Griffin For The Rest Of The Playoffs
The Clippers are currently tied at two in their series against the Trail Blazers, but the rest of those games are going to be tough. Chris Paul and Blake Griffin won’t play in any of them....
How To Share Money In A Relationship
We spend huge chunks of our lives trying to acquire both love and money. At some point, though, we’d all kind of like to have both. And when you do—and you and your significant other have been living together in sweaty sin long enough—there then comes a time where your financial future becomes plura...
NBA Fines Russell Westbrook $25,000 For Yelling "Fuck You!" To A Heckler
Russell Westbrook’s “Fuck you!” to a Mavericks fan last night will cost the Thunder star $25,000, the NBA announced today. That’s 0.15% of Westbrook’s 2015-2016 salary....