fl Page 1035 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Everyone Still Really Pissed At The Marlins
The outrage over the Marlins and all that money they pretended not to be making continues unabated. Meanwhile, it has occurred to Dan Le Batard that a businessman might be both good at his job and an unscrupulous shit....
The Newest Innovation In Sun Belt Hockey: Sponsored Empty Seats
It's depressing when you've got a 19,000-seat arena, and only average 15,000 fans a night. The Florida Panthers are killing two birds with one tarp, hiding the empties and making a bit of cash in the process....
Columnist Starts Rumor That No One Believes, In Effort To Prove People Will Believe Anything
Mike Wise of the Washington Post "broke" the news that Ben Roethlisberger's suspension would be 5 games. After no one took the bait, he went on the radio to explain how he was just trying to show "anybody will print anything."...
Antonio Bryant Is: The Eight Million Dollar (Invisible) Man
The Bengals cut Antonio "I guess he's pretty good, but he's been stuck in Tampa Bay, so who the hell knows" Bryant, and will owe him $8 million just for showing up to camp for a few weeks. It could be worse....
Historians Would Later Pinpoint It As A Pivotal Moment For The King Of Pop
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
<em>ESPN The Mag</em> Story About Sister-Humping NFL Prospect Will Break Your Heart
Remember Tony Washington? The Abilene Christian lineman who mashed uglies with his sister? He went undrafted in the draft and has yet to be signed as a free agent? Why is a talented o-line prospect getting the cold shoulder from the NFL?...
Miami Mayor Joins The Marlins Pile-On
Miami Mayor Tomás Regalado, citing those Marlins' financial statements that show what the city probably should've known already, now would prefer not to spend $100 million of the public's money on a boondoggly parking garage for the team's boondoggly new stadium....
Pete Carroll: Master Pranksmith
Carroll hid a fake snake in the Gatorade cooler, and filmed the results. Credit where credit is due: getting large men to scream and hop around like girls will never not be funny....
Tim Tebow Named Most Eligible Christian Bachelor
We were cruising dating site Christian Partner For Life the other day, looking for a nice girl who does that hot thing where they wear a cross in their cleavage, and we stumbled across a singular honor for one Timothy Tebow....
John Buccigross' "Whore" Problem
On yesterday's SportsCenter, anchor John Buccigross—most likely reading from Elin Nordegren's statement—said, "It was a real marriage for whore." What a jagoff....
The 2010 Deadspin AFC Fantasy Football Preview
It's fantasy draft time, which means it's time for us to sit down with Yahoo's Andy Behrens for part two of our annual fantasy preview. All killer, no filler....
Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 2
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. This week: "shit" and "ass" end up deadlocked, while "nuts" drop left and right....
Plaxico Burress Is History's Greatest Monster Because He Stole A Punter's Number
It's standard operating procedure for newly acquired players to get their favored jersey number, but only after compensating the owner. It's been five years, and Burress still owes Jeff Feagles a new kitchen....
Download Those MLB Financial Statements For Your Own Enjoyment
By popular demand, here are those MLB documents as PDF files: Pittsburgh Pirates; Pirates again; Florida Marlins; Tampa Bay Rays; Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim; and Seattle Mariners. The Rangers' Excel files can be downloaded here and here. Enjoy....
Your Moment Of Auto-Erotica: "Oh, How He Tempted Her."
We recently discovered—but then forget—the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....
Al Michaels And Cris Collinsworth Are Far Too Aware Of The Spread
Can we drop the charade and acknowledge that the only people watching the fourth quarter, third stringers of a preseason game are degenerate gamblers? The announcers analyzing a "meaningless" safety certainly knew how to play to the crowd....
MLB Confidential: The Financial Documents Baseball Doesn't Want You To See, Part 1
We've obtained financial statements for a number of baseball teams — containing perhaps some of the most closely guarded information in sports — and they offer a rare glimpse at how MLB franchises do brisk business in the modern era....
Introducing Shawn Andrews: NFL Lineman, Aspiring Rap Impresario, Depression Sufferer
As beefing up their division rivals' rosters go, the Philadelphia Eagles rule. First was the QB to Washington. Now, the former All-Pro O-lineman they released in March signs with New York....
Today In Incongruous Rap Anthems: Jordan Shipley
Everyone thank MC Howley for this loving tribute to Bengals rookie Jordan Shipley. H/T MKM...