fl Page 969 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Referee Eats It In Raiders-Jets Game
As the Raiders were scurrying to get set up for a game-tying field goal in the final seconds of the first half, our enthusiastic friend has a bit of a problem with the whole "one foot in front of the other" thing. Come for the falling humans, stay for the meta ESPN-Axis style breakdown of the play...

If You Don't Get In His Face, Mark Sanchez Will Eat You Up: Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
Welcome back for round two of open threadspin. Remember, if you see something, say something. You will probably get approved. ...

"You Know Tom Coughlin Will Not Be Happy About That": Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
Well, it's week three. Our third open thread date. Things are starting to get hot and heavy. Giants-Eagles, Packers-Bears and....Dolphins-Browns? Let's get to it, and as a reminder, we'll be approving just about anyone and his/her/its uncle in the comments of these open threads, so chime in if you'v...

Former Orioles Pitcher Mike Flanagan Threatened To Commit Suicide Several Times Before Doing So
The Baltimore Sun is reporting, based on police records released via Public Information Act request, that Cy Young Award winner and Orioles broadcaster Mike Flanagan's suicide did not come as a complete surprise to those closest to him....

They Cried Tears Of Joy And Praised The Heavens When The Brewers Clinched A Division Title
Your morning roundup for Sept. 24, a day you no longer have to worry about getting hit by a falling satellite unless you already got hit, in which case wouldn't be reading this because you're not alive to fret. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

In Which Will Carroll, At The Bottom Of The Sea, Hits Himself With A Hammer
To protect his brittle ribs and gooey lung center, Tony Romo will suit up with a flak jacket made of Kevlar. But if you're like me, you're wondering: how exactly does one use Kevlar to protect oneself? Well, let me tell you: you put it between you and the thing hitting you....

Yes, The Marlins Let "Leo Nunez" Play For Several Months Even Though They Knew He Forged His Identity
"A person familiar with Nunez's immigration status told The Associated Press on Thursday that his real name is Juan Carlos Oviedo, and he's 29, a year older than listed in the team media guide. The person also said the Marlins have been aware of the issue for several months." [AP, via ESPN]...

The Fake Outrage Over Fake Injuries; Or, How To Piss On An NFL Sideline Without Anyone Seeing
Faking injuries in the NFL is a time-honored method of stopping the momentum of an opponent and giving your own team a much-needed breather. It's like calling a timeout in basketball when the other team is on a big run. Since football doesn't have the luxury of all those silly 20-second timeouts, th...

Orlando "Zeus" Brown, Tackle Best Known For Suing The NFL After Taking A Penalty Flag In His Eye, Dead At 40
Brown, who spent most of his career with the Ravens, got hit with Jeff Triplette's flag while playing for the Browns in 1999. He missed nearly four seasons and received a $15-20 million settlement from the NFL....

Football Is Even More Exciting With A Spanish Announcer
This is LarryLarryLarryLarry Fitzgerald's 73-yard touchdown from Sunday, as exuberantly described by Gabriel Trujillo of 710 ESPN Deportes Radio in Phoenix. It contains the cadences of a soccer call, and about 800 times the excitement due a Cardinals/Redskins game. [AZCardinals.com]...

Bill Belichick, Terror Of The High Seas, On Roller Skates
Your morning roundup for Sept. 23, the day we learned Einstein might have been wrong about that whole theory of relativity jazz. Photo courtesy Larry Brown Sports, via @xmasape. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

C-Roll Stash: In Which Unspeakable Things Happen To A Flagpole At A NASCAR Tailgate (NSFW)
We're almost to the halfway point of the "C-roll" stash and this portion picks up just where we left off last night, with more bleacher boinking and boob-flashing and ice cream cone fellatio coming at you as quickly as the Eddie Van Halen finger-tapping solo accompanying it. Once the song ends, th...

Jamaal Charles Takes A Ride On The Fantasy Meat Wagon
There's an ad on the front page of NFL.com now. It shows Jamaal Charles being carted off with a torn ACL, near tears. His health, shot. His livelihood, threatened (only about 35 percent of his contract is guaranteed money). The Chiefs' season, shot....

Dear Fox, Your Graphics Blow
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

SprtsCntr: Coming To You Live From Michael Vick's Hippocampus
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Logan Morrison Would Like To Borrow Your Black Flag T-Shirt
Your morning roundup for Sept. 22, the day we learned live trees make great ancient bridges. Photo via @Jimmy Traina. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Presenting What Could Be The First Nasty Face-To-Boards Hit Of The NHL Preseason
Jody Shelley of the Philadelphia Flyers (for now) logged 6:27 of ice time in a preseason game against the Toronto Maple Leafs before he was asked to retire to the locker room for the evening....

Cops: A Couple Of Pounds Of Marijuana Got Shipped To The Home Where Two Cincinnati Bengals Live
"An operation by state narcotics agents that tracked a shipment of high-grade marijuana from Northern California led police to a suburban Kentucky house and two National Football League players, law enforcement authorities said. Cincinnati Bengals teammates Jerome Simpson and Anthony Collins, both ...

Fox NFL Sunday Analysts Are Really, Totally Not Transparently Excited About <em>The X Factor</em>
From today's Twitter postings:...

The Vince Young Imposter Has Been Breaking Hearts All Over D.C.
The Washington Times has the story on Stephan Pittman, the registered sex offender from Maryland who's been conning women by posing as Vince Young: "'He brought a bear and flowers for my friend,' Denisse said. 'He was such a good actor. But half my heart didn't believe him.'" [Washington Times]...