fl Page 996 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Florida Basketball Team Has No Comment On Premarital Sex
A reporter for the Orlando Sentinel attended the Florida Gators' press conference yesterday to ask Billy Donovan and Chandler Parsons about premarital sex, and then he wrote nearly 800 words about how the BYU honor code "lifted college athletics up." Donovan passed on the question — "How hard woul...

Identity Of The Lady Who Bared Her Rump For All To See In The Seventies Is Finally Exposed
Your morning roundup for March 24, the day an 8.5-point underdog taps into its inner Jersey Shore, all Socs-versus-Greasers style....

Horny 92-Year-Old Woman Couldn't Get A Kiss, So She Got Her Gun
When 92-year-old Helen Staudinger's boytoy neighbor Dwight Bettner refused to kiss her on Monday, she turned her .380 semi-automatic pistol on 'im. She missed, but it's the thought that counts....

The NFL Wants Less Devin Hester In Your Life
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Hester hates the league's new kickoff rules....

If There's A Lockout, Charlie Batch Could Lose His Super Bowl Rings
Batch declared bankruptcy in December, and his creditors now have the option of seizing the property he used as collateral to secure his debt. That includes "a 2006 Kawasaki personal watercraft, and sports memorabilia and jewelry." Among that, his two Super Bowl rings, as well as his collection of a...

The Dave Duerson Autopsy Report Is Predictably Heartbreaking
The Miami-Dade County medical examiner has released her final report on the death of former NFLer Dave Duerson, who shot himself through the heart last month and instructed that his brain be donated to head trauma research. Confirmed by the report is that Duerson complained of "memory loss and inabi...

Dez Bryant Ejected, Maybe Banned From Mall Because Of Saggy Pants
Before the 2010 NFL Draft, Dallas Morning News columnist and/or contemporary of Montesquieu Jean-Jacques Taylor took issue with anonymous NFL types who doubted Dez Bryant's character. Taylor wrote, "His biggest flaw: He is habitually late. No joke. That's the most serious criticism leveled at Bryant...

Lawrence Taylor On His Prostitutes: "I Don't Card Them"
Today, Lawrence Taylor went on Studio B with Shepard Smith and rambled nonsensically and sometimes offensively about having sex with a 16-year-old prostitute in upstate New York a year ago. He said awful things ("It's the world of prostitution. You never know what you're gonna get, if it's gonna b...

Here Are Some NFL Rule Changes, Including A Welcome One About Field Color
The Competition Committee passed a few rule changes at their annual meetings, not insignificant stuff. Kickoffs are moving and we're getting more booth reviews, and we'll get to that. But the most noteworthy of all is Proposal 5, which ensures that football will be played on green fields for the for...

The Giants' Season Ticket Amnesty And The Tyranny Of Good PR
This broke late last week, but we were too busy paying attention to actual sporting events to deal with it. But we're forced to now, because certain folks in the media won't shut up about how classy the New York Football Giants are for not requiring fans to make their season ticket payments while th...

Your NCAA Tournament Sweet Sixteen Finishing Touches Open Thread
In the next few hours, all attendees will have RSVP'd for the Sweet Sixteen extravaganza. The final five match-ups are Arizona vs. Texas; VCU vs. Purdue; Marquette vs. Syracuse; Illinois vs. Kansas; and in the weekend's final game, Florida State vs. Notre Dame....

Your Early Round-Of-32 Games Open Thread
In the early game, a Kentucky team that barely beat Princeton faces a West Virginia team with a coach who's 8-1 against the head Wildcat....

We Are All Dave McKenna XLII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a shillelagh to the gob....

Wonderlic Season Is Here Again
Whether it's the joke fodder, or just our own primal fears of filling in standardized test bubbles, we're always oddly anticipating the release of selected players' Wonderlic scores. Yes, those scores are supposed to be confidential, but the leaking of scores has been tradition for a few years now....

Four Shining Moments Reenacted By Lego Basketball Players
Your morning roundup for March 17, the day when the Apostle of Ireland's deathiversary contributes to many facets of the American economy. Act as responsibly as you see fit, folks....

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Of Jay Cutler's Choice In Halloween Costumes
Not eight weeks after Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler's manliness was called into question after a playoff injury against the eventual Super Bowl champions, tipster Jeff S. forwards this "gem" of a photo from his days at Vanderbilt. It was Halloween 2005 when tough-guy and BMOC quarterback and pal disg...

Jenn Sterger And Phil Reese And Their Game Of Inches
Jenn Sterger, who's been silent since the whole Favre thing captivated and appalled the nation, recently filed a suit against her "manager," Phil Reese, claiming he plans to use some of the additional raunchy photos, texts, and voicemails to move forward with a book about the "Favre Story" that Ste...

We Are All Dave McKenna XLI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets slipped the black spot of death....

Jenn Sterger Sues Her Manager To Recover Favre Texts
Sterger filed suit yesterday in Hillsborough County circuit court, in an attempt to prevent Phil Reese from writing a book about the Brett Favre saga, and to recover the mysterious "Sterger Materials."...

NFL Considering A Kickoff Rule Change That Could Have Major Implications
We know directional punting is a skill, and often a valuable one. But might we soon see the rise of the directional kicker? The NFL's Competition Committee is proposing moving the kickoff to the 35-yard-line, and having touchbacks start from their 25. They say it's for safety, and it would probably ...