football Page 745 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bearcats Football Trying Out The Eight-Man Weave
You know, when you're talking group sex, you're obviously talking about Ohio. This is something the Cincinnati Bearcats like to call "an eight-on-one drill."...
We're So Sorry, Uncle Albert
Look, we're still a little unclear on why the University of Florida's mascot statue, Albert the Alligator, was placed on the Ohio State campus recently (some kind of a Nike promotion or something). All we know is that it took more than five hours for students there to destroy it, which is simply una...
No, Really, Your Testimony Was Quite Pleasant
Sorry, all you CourtTV legal eagles desperate for a fixin' of Charlie Weis gastric bypass surgery malpractice goodness: The whole rigmarole has been declared a mistrial....
Who's Sorry Now? Naked Hi-Jinx Edition
Simply put, we can think of no more embarrassing yet hilarious opening line to a letter than this:...
Charlie Weis Hates Internal Bleeding Much More Than He Hates Donuts
In case you've fallen behind on your coverage of failed gastric bypass surgery involving major college football coaches, Notre Dame head whale Charlie Weis is in Day One of his negligence trial in which doctors ignored internal bleeding warning signs. Weis underwent the surgery in 2002 because he wa...
Dan Hawkins REALLY Wants You To Practice More
Colorado Buffaloes head coach Dan Hawkins was hired because he's not the type of guy to lure his players in with strip clubs and booze, unlike his predecessor. We respect that; nobody wants that for college students....
Matt Simms Can Roll A Fat One (In A Slightly Different Fashion Than His Brother Can)
You might not have realized that Phil Simms actually has two football playing sons. The first is Chris Simms, of course, who was John Amaechi before it was COOL to be John Amaechi. But the second is Matt Simms, who is about to attend Louisville and has proven to be a bit of an asshead....
The Happy Underbelly Of Recruiting
On a slow news day today, we hark back again to the madness of recruiting day yesterday, not from the fans' or coaches' perspectives ... but from the players'. The grand minds at Every Day Should Be Saturday take a look at what the recruiting process means to high school kids, in a hypothetical firs...
It's Never Too Early To Ruin A Kid's Enjoyment Of Sport
Yesterday was college football's signing day, and as you've probably noticed by our coverage of that and similar recruiting stories, we're always kind of creeped out by a bunch of middle aged men watching teenagers in their underwear run sprints and lift weights. Maybe it's just us....
Ron Zook Will Turn Your Conventional Wisdom Upside Down
Our beloved alma mater, the University of Illinois, is having a mediocre year in basketball and has won, like, four games in two years, even forcing us to sit through a 33-0 loss to Rutgers last year that mostly resembled a cock fight between a rabid rooster and an egg. But worry not, fellow alums: ...
Michael Irvin, Unplugged
Here's the Michael Irvin speech that I promised earlier ... just a few highlights that could be considered ironic, but for the most part, it's actually quite endearing. It's a heartfelt speech, and, to the best of my knowledge, the first time that Bishop T.D. Jakes was mentioned at a Pro Football Ha...
The Hall Of Fame Is Going To Need A Champagne Room
This one's going to be tough for Redskins fans to swallow. Michael Irvin, in his third year of eligibility, is going to be inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. He was one of six players selected for Hall induction today, along with Gene Hickerson, Bruce Matthews, Charlie Sanders, Thurman Tho...
Sorry Nick, We're Just 'Not Feelin' It'
Hot quarterback prospect Robert Marve of Plant High School (Tampa, Fla.) isn't going to Alabama after all. Such is the magical allure of new Tide head coach Nick Saban, who played host to Marve's recruiting visit recently and obviously told one of his folksy, down-home coon-ass stories that everyone...
Nick Saban's Odd Way Of Bonding With Reporters
Curious how new Alabama coach Nick Saban could possibly become less popular? (Well, other than screaming "Roll Tide!" while having sex with two strippers.) Well, check out this audio from an "off-the-record" chat with reporters about the whirlwind of Saban hate coming out of Miami right now....
Daulerio at SBXLI: An Aching Head, Rediscovering An Old Friend And Making New Ones
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. Here's his newest one, after a night out on the town....
Yahoo! Still Trying To Catch Reggie Bush
If it's a Thursday, that must mean it's time for another Yahoo !Sports investigation into gifts Reggie Bush might have received at USC. (We don't mean to make light of the hard work Yahoo! has put into its exhaustive investigation, but we repeat that it's hard to take an investigation all that serio...
"42 ... 15 ... Set ... Down ... BLECHHHH ... Hike!"
From a Texas high school championship game last week, here's a young quarterback who is going to let absolutely nothing stand in the way of victory. How do we know? The guy vomits, then hikes the ball, throws a game-winning touchdown pass, then vomits again. Now that's devotion. Or, at the very leas...
Buckeyes Fans Sneak Into Game That's Probably Not Worth Sneaking Into
Our firm, Midwestern ethics have, to this point, disallowed us of the grand American tradition of sneaking into sporting events. The trick, we've heard, is to find a smoking section, and then slip in when the security guard isn't looking....
Life's Pretty Tough For Buckeyes Fans
Our friends at NBX Sports Blog have put together this compilation video of distressed Ohio State fans showing during the FOX broadcast of the Buckeyes' destruction at the hands of the Florida Gators on Monday. We've always wanted someone to make a fan montage like this; just a bunch of people puttin...
Monday Night Football To Remain 66 2/3 Percent Bald
Whatever your thoughts on Tony Kornheiser on "Monday Night Football" might be — we think the man's hysterical in pretty much every format other than "Monday Night Football" (OK, and CBS primetime) — you best come to grips with them, because he's gonna be back next year....